


Holding On (With a Heart That's Still Beating)

by whispered_story



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Big Bang Challenge, Boys In Love, Caring Jensen, First Time, Fluff, Hurt Jared, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Angst, Mutant Powers, Mutants, Past Torture, Romance, Tattoos, Telekinetic Jensen, changed Jared, mild violence, past and present minor character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 09:08:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 42,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14931354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whispered_story/pseuds/whispered_story
Summary: The first children with the mutant gene, which gave people superhuman abilities, were born in the late 70s. Feared, abused and soon shunned by the general public, they gathered together in small groups and built camps on the outskirts of society.Decades later, Jensen leads a small camp of mutants hidden in the mountains of Oregon. It's a peaceful, uneventful life—until Jensen finds a hurt young mutant in the woods outside of the camp. But unlike the rest of them, Jared wasn't born with the mutant gene. Kidnapped off the streets, he was experimented on, changed into a mutant by force and then left to die in the forest when his powers appeared to be dormant. Jensen takes Jared back to the camp, offers him a place to stay, to heal, and a home with them in the mountains. Jared quickly becomes a part of their little makeshift family and an even bigger part of Jensen's life.But then they find another changed mutant and unwittingly lead the people responsible for what happened to Jared right to their camp. And it turns out Jared might be the one who can save them in the end.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> written for [SPN J2 Big Bang](https://spn-j2-bigbang.livejournal.com/)
> 
> [art](https://dancing-adrift.dreamwidth.org/17171.html) by the amazing [dancing_adrift](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dancing_Adrift). Thank you for the gorgeous art and for being so damn awesome, babe! I had a blast working with you again! ♥
> 
> beta’d by [gluedwithgold](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gluedwithgold) \- thank you so much, Jen! ♥
> 
> Title taken from Lifehouse's "Broken".

[](https://i.imgur.com/oQOUVGn.png)

 

\---

Jensen stops dead in his tracks when he hears a noise, a pained whimper that sounds more animal than human.

He stops and waits, and there's another one, harsh and low. This time, Jensen is pretty damn sure it's a person though. 

There shouldn't be anyone this far out. Their camp is miles and miles away from civilization and while there's always the possibility of hikers exploring the area, it’s deliberately hard to reach. There are a few dirt paths; the camp isn't impossible to reach, but it's high up in the mountains and the trails are steep and rocky. There's one that is wide enough for a car, ending a mile or so away, where they keep a couple of trucks parked. In all the years Jensen has been at the camp, while they've occasionally bumped into hikers, nobody has ever made it close. They have a security system set up that alerts them if anyone comes within a two-mile radius of camp—and thank fuck for Aldis for being able to set that up and maintain it—allowing Lauren and Sam to use their powers to create visual illusions and send the hikers the other way. But Jensen is just outside the parameter that their security system covers and someone must have managed to find their way up the mountains.

Carefully, he creeps forward, his steps light.

He sucks in a hiss when he steps around a large tree. There's a guy sitting curled up on the ground, pressed against the trunk. He's wearing tattered pants and nothing else, his chest littered with bruises and smeared with dirt and blood. And now that Jensen is close, he can feel the sluggish energy that crackles through the air around him. Another mutant. Except it doesn't feel right. The presence of a mutant feels a lot stronger than that of a normal human, a steady flow of energy. But this guy's power feels erratic, spotty, there one moment and gone the next. 

He lifts his head when Jensen takes another step towards him, leaves rustling under his feet. Big, frightened eyes stare up at Jensen from under unruly bangs. He looks young, Jensen notices, barely older than a teenager, and he cowers when Jensen moves closer, letting out a panicked, scared moan.

"It's okay. I'm not going to hurt you," Jensen murmurs.

"Please. No," the guy whimpers, his voice cracking and raw. He curls himself up tighter when Jensen gets closer, like he's trying to make himself disappear.

"Shh, you don't have to be scared," Jensen says. He kneels down and carefully reaches out. The guy flinches when Jensen touches his shoulder, letting out another one of those pained sounds. It tugs at something deep inside of Jensen, a surge of protectiveness flaring up inside of him. 

Whatever happened to the guy, it looks like someone messed him up badly, and Jensen has no idea how he could have gotten here, hurt and practically naked. The nearest town is a couple hours away by car and in the state the guy is in, he couldn't have made it up here by foot. 

"Don't be scared. It's okay. Everything's okay now," Jensen hushes. "I'm Jensen. What's your name?"

The guy's eyes meet Jensen's, his lips trembling. He lifts his arm, turns his palm up and Jensen's gaze falls onto inside of his arm. There's a tattoo there, J12 inked into the skin in messy, black letters. Like it was done hastily, carelessly. "Jay," the guy says quietly.

"Jay," Jensen repeats, his throat tight because he gets the feeling the guy didn't pick the tattoo himself. It looks more like a brand, like someone inked him as if he's cattle instead of human. "Are you hurt, Jay? I mean, beside the obvious. Can you walk?"

Jay shrugs, then shakes his head. "Dizzy," he says in a voice that's barely louder than a whisper. 

"Okay," Jensen says. "I can carry you. It's not far."

"Where?"

"Somewhere safe, I promise. Somewhere where we can clean you up, feed and clothe you and let you heal. Okay?" 

Jay looks hesitant, body still curled up tight, but then he gives a shaky nod. Jensen tries to be careful as he slides his arms under and around Jay. He staggers a little as he lifts him up, bridal style, but he manages to catch his balance and Jay winds one arm around his neck. The kid is tall, all long limbs, but holding him, feeling the skin and muscles and bones under his hands, Jensen can tell he hasn't been eating properly in a while. He's too skinny and his skin feels cold and clammy.

"Please don't hurt me anymore," Jay whispers, his breath coming fast even as he drops his head onto Jensen's shoulder. Jensen realizes Jay isn't any less scared than before, doesn't trust him—he's probably just too weak, too resigned to fight him.

"Don't you worry, sweetheart," Jensen reassures him softly. "Nobody's going to hurt you again. I'll make sure of that."

*

Jensen had strayed far enough from the camp that the walk back takes a while. But Jay is lighter than someone his height should be and Jensen refuses to stop, to take a break.

Jay's weak, too, his breath ragged and his hold on Jensen loose, and Jensen tries to get him back to the camp as quickly as he can.

Tahmoh opens the heavy gates when Jensen approaches, eyes darting back and forth between Jay and Jensen.

"What's going on? Who's that?" he asks, and Jay make a small noise in Jensen's arms, hiding his face against his neck.

"Nobody here's going to hurt you. Don't worry," Jensen murmurs to Jay, before turning his attention to Tahmoh.

"Found him in the woods," he explains.

"Mutant," Tahmoh states, and Jensen nods. 

"Are you sure it's a good idea to bring him here before checking him out? He doesn't feel quite right, Jensen. He could be dangerous," Tahmoh says. Jensen sends him a pointed look.

"That's my decision to make, not yours," he reminds Tahmoh. "And since when do we turn anyone away?"

"Since when do we find someone just outside our camp? Nobody's supposed to know it's here, Jensen, don't you think that's a little strange?" Tahmoh replies, and Jensen knows he's right. 

It _is_ weird to find a mutant this close to their camp, but judging by how Jay reacted to him, he didn't know they were nearby. Whatever brought him here, it wasn't because he was looking for them, and Jay is too weak to pose any threat to them anyway.

And Jensen can't turn his back on Jay, no matter how weird the circumstances. The camp is a safe space for people like them, a home that is hard for mutants to find elsewhere. Not every mutant who has come to the camp has fit in, but Jensen isn't going to turn anyone away without at least giving them a shot first.

"He's not dangerous," Jensen says, his tone final. "He's hurt and he needs help."

Tahmoh holds his hands up, placating, and steps aside. Jensen nods and starts walking again. He feels Jay tense, and he knows it must be all the different presences that his senses are picking up. There are about thirty people all together, and most of them are on the campground right now. Jensen is used to it, feeling the steady flow of energy around him, but for all Jensen knows Jay isn't used to being around that many mutants. Most of them who came here had to adjust to it at first, because they were used to living around normal human beings.

Jensen ignores the curious stares, the halted questions, and carries Jay past everyone to his cabin. He wishes he had a blanket or coat to cover the poor kid up, shield him from the prying eyes, but Jay seems too out of it to care.

"Colin!" he calls out when he spies the boy a few feet away from his cabin, sitting on a grass patch with a book in his hands. When Jensen yells his name though, he looks up, a ready smile on his lips. It falters a little when he sees Jensen, or more likely Jay, but it doesn't slip off his face completely.

"Can you go find Jeff? Tell him to come to my cabin as soon as he can. I need his help," Jensen says and Colin nods.

"Of course," he says.

"Hurry," Jensen adds, but Colin has already dashed off.

Jensen carries Jay the last few feet to his place. Carrying him up onto the porch, Jensen focuses his powers on the door and it swings open silently. 

Inside, it's blessedly cool. He carries Jay into his bedroom and carefully lowers him down onto his bed, and Jay moans brokenly. He curls up on his side, but the new position allows Jensen to get a better look at him. Sweat has broken out on Jay's forehead and his eyes are screwed shut, his whole body trembling. Jensen notices the way he's cradling one of his arms against his chest, obviously hurt. There are bruises everywhere, pale skin smudged purple, blue and greenish yellow. Some are fresh, others are fading already. Jensen feels sick with the realization that the kid wasn't just beaten up once, that it must have been going on for a while.

Jensen pulls a sheet over him carefully, and then brushes dirty, greasy hair out of Jay's face. "You're safe now," he says gently. "Everything will be okay."

He watches as a tear slips out from under Jay's closed eye, sliding over his nose before dripping down. Jensen sighs, not daring to touch him again.

"I'll get you some water. Think you can stomach some food?" he asks gently. Jay's eyes open a little and he shrugs.

"We'll just give it a try," Jensen says. He has a carafe of water sitting on the table in the far corner of the room and he pours some into a clean mug.

He has to help Jay up into a sitting position, props him up against his side and holds the mug to Jay's lips.

"Small sips," he says, and Jay obeys.

When a knock sounds on the door he startles so hard he jostles Jensen and some water spills out from the mug, and Jensen sets it aside carefully.

"It's okay," he says. "It's just a friend. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

He waits until Jay nods before he calls, "Come on in."

He gives Jay a smile as steps echo through the cabin. Jeff steps into the bedroom, followed by Colin. Jensen stays perched on the edge of the bed, supporting Jay's weight. He watches as Jeff takes in the scene, his eyes widening a little.

"Anything else I can help you with?" Colin asks.

"Can you get some food? Something bland—maybe see if they have a broth in the kitchen," Jensen says, and when Colin nods he smiles. "Thanks, Colin."

"Of course, Jensen," Colin replies and leaves the bedroom.

Jeff chuckles. "That kid," he says. "Got a crush bigger than the goddamn country on you."

"Shut up," Jensen says.

Jeff grins at him, but Jensen can see the tense lines around his mouth. "So. Who do we have here?" he asks, and Jensen can tell he's keeping his voice purposefully light. 

"This is Jay," Jensen says. "Found him in the woods, not far from camp."

Jeff nods, meeting Jensen's eyes, and Jensen sees the silent understanding. There's no judgement there, no barrage of questions. Having Jeff in his corner has always been something Jensen relied on, something that calms him down and keeps him grounded. For the past few years, Jensen has been in charge of the camp, but Jeff has always been his confidant, and he feels a little calmer now that he's here.

Jensen leans in a little closer to Jay. "Hey Jay. Think it'd be okay if my friend Jeff and I take a closer look at your injuries?" he asks softly. "Jeff's real good with those kind of things."

Jay peers at Jeff, and then nods, though he doesn't look like he wants to agree. Jensen wonders how much of it is Jay thinking he has to. 

Jeff sits down with them, facing them, and gives Jay a gentle smile. "Thank you. I'm not going to hurt you, okay?" he asks. "Can you tell us what happened? Who did this to you?"

Jay looks at them with guarded eyes. "I didn't know them," he says softly.

"Do you know why they hurt you?" Jensen asks, glancing at the exposed skin of Jay's chest and back. 

Jay shrugs, but it's halted.

"Can I show Jeff your arm, Jay? The one you showed me?" Jensen asks and Jay turns his arm, the one that's not injured, around, exposing the pale skin there and the black ink. Jeff looks at it, his expression darkening.

"Did someone do that to you?" he asks, obviously drawing the same conclusion Jensen did.

Jay's eyes dart up and then down to his arm, and he gives a jerky nod.

"Jay, would it be okay if I touched you? Just your face." Jeff continues. "I'm a healer. I just want to check you for other injuries."

Jay looks at Jensen, and Jensen gives him what he hopes is an encouraging smile. Jay nods again, and Jensen feels his body go taut against his, like he's bracing himself. Jeff cups Jay's face, his hands looking big and tan against Jay's cheeks, and closes his eyes. It takes a few seconds, but then Jensen hears Jay gasp, knows he can feel the tingling sensation of Jeff using his powers on him.

"It's fine. He's just making sure you're okay. He's gonna fix you right up," he murmurs, gently rubbing Jay's shoulder. After a few moments, Jeff drops his hands and sits back.

"And?" Jensen asks.

"He's okay," Jeff assures him and smiles. "Your arm is broken, Jay, but I can take care of that easily. You're a bit weak and malnourished, but other than the bruises and exhaustion you're physically fine. There aren't any major injuries I can find. Would it be okay if I took a closer look at some of those bruises?"

Jay nods again.

"Good. Can you tell me where they hurt you the most?"

"My back," Jay mumbles. Jeff nods and gets up. Jensen shuffles forward, giving Jeff more room to look, while still letting Jay lean on him. He watches him carefully as he inspects Jay, reaching out to touch him ever so carefully once in a while.

"What's wrong?" Jensen asks when he sees Jeff frowning. Jeff's fingers hover over Jay's neck.

"Jay, were you injected with something?" he asks, carefully nudging Jay's head to the side and brushing his hair away. Jensen shifts closer, looking at the skin. Between specks of dirt he can see small red dots, pin pricks, the skin around them a little puffy.

Jay sits stiffly, not answering.

"It's okay. You can trust us," Jensen murmurs, his voice softer. "Can you tell us what happened to you, sweetheart?"

"Mutant," Jay says with a thick voice.

"They injected you with something because you're a mutant?" Jensen asks. "Were they trying to do something to you?"

Jay shakes his head, pained eyes locking on Jensen. "I wasn't a mutant," he says, "before they did this."

Jensen can all but feel the world coming to a screeching halt, the silence deafening between them before he manages to catch himself. "What?" he asks, and meets Jeff's eyes. "How's that possible?"

Jeff shakes his head. "I've never heard of something like that before."

"I'm not lying," Jay says, pleading, and Jensen reaches out, strokes his uninjured arm. 

"We know. We're not saying we don't believe you, sweetheart. I've just never heard of something like that," he reassures. "So they injected you with something to change you? To give you powers?"

Jay nods, and Jeff mutters a low, "Jesus. How is that even possible?"

Jensen swallows thickly, meeting Jeff's gaze again for a moment, before turning his attention back to Jay. He tries not to let his worry show too much, not wanting to freak Jay out.

"Jay, can you tell us anything about them? Anything you noticed about them or where they are or why they did this to you?" Jensen prods, his stomach feeling like lead. 

"I don't really know much," Jay says in a quiet voice.

"That's okay. Just tell us whatever you know. It's really important that we know."

Jay bites down on his lower lip and sucks in an audible breath through his teeth. "They grabbed me off the street. I... I got kicked out of my apartment 'cause I couldn't make rent and I was sleeping in a... a park. I don't remember much; they knocked me out and I woke up in a small room. There were several people, but they always covered up, so I never saw their faces. At first it was just injections. Several times a day," he says. "Then they started doing all kinds of experiments. They... said they were trying to trigger a power. They, uh, liked to use violence. Said it's the most effective method. They didn't really tell me anything else."

"Where were you when they kidnapped you, Jay?" Jeff asks.

"Austin," Jay says quietly. "Are we... are we close?"

Jensen sucks in a breath and shakes his head, Jay turning his face towards him. "No. Not even the same state anymore, sweetheart. We're in the middle of Oregon," he says. "Do you know how long you were there? In that room?" 

Jay frowns and shrugs one shoulder.

"A while," he says. "It all kinda blurred together after a while. A couple of months, maybe? I don't really know."

Jensen closes his eyes for a second, but tries not to let his emotions show too much for Jay's sake. He wants him to stay calm, to not get any more agitated. But the thought of what it must have been like, locked away and tortured for so long, is horrifying. Jensen has had his fair share of ups and downs in life, but he can't even begin to imagine what it must have been like.

"How'd you get away?" Jeff asks. Jay hangs his heads, picking at the sheets.

"I didn't," he admits. "They let me go. Drove me out here and dropped me off in the forest."

"Why?"

Jay sniffs. "'Cause I'm useless," he mumbles.

"Come again?" Jensen asks.

Jay looks up, eyes brimming with tears. "They couldn't get it right. My powers—they said the injections were working. But I was never able to do anything. So they let me go," he says and snorts. "They said there was nothing around these parts, that I'd die out here anyway. Laughed when they told me."

Jensen feels a flash of murderous anger at that, mixing in with the worry and fear that someone out there is trying to _make _mutants.__

__"And you really have no idea who they were? Where they kept you? Nothing?" Jeff prods, voice thoughtful._ _

__Jay shakes his head. "I don't know. I'm sorry."_ _

__"Don't apologize," Jensen says gently. "Don't worry about it."_ _

__"Jensen is right, Jay. You did great, okay?" Jeff says. "Thank you for sharing that with us."_ _

__Jay nods._ _

__"How about you let me heal your arm and bruises," Jeff says kindly. "I bet you're aching all over and you need some rest. Sleep, water, food and you'll be back on your feet in no time."_ _

__"You can do that?" Jay asks._ _

__Jeff smiles. "Sure can, kiddo," he says. "I'll need to touch you again, just like before, nothing more, okay? You'll feel a sort of tingling and some warmth, but it won't hurt. I promise."_ _

__"Okay," Jay says and then adds more quietly, "Please."_ _

__Jeff nods and then moves to sit in front of Jay again. He cups Jay's face. "Close your eyes," he murmurs, and Jay's eyes slide closed. He flinches once, but then he relaxes and Jensen watches his bruises turn purple, then green and yellow, before fading from his skin. It takes a couple of minutes, before Jeff draws back._ _

__"All done," he says. Jay opens his eyes and nods sluggishly. Without the bruises he looks paler, dark circles under his eyes standing out in stark contrast. Healing is easy for Jeff, but Jensen can see it’s taken a toll on Jay. He guesses for his beaten and bruised body it must have been exhausting—he looks more worn out now than before, like he's on the verge of nodding off._ _

__"Thank you," Jay mumbles._ _

__"No problem," Jeff says and looks at Jensen. "You good to take care of him on your own? He needs rest and some sustenance and one of us should probably talk to the others, let them know what's going on."_ _

__"Of course," Jensen says. "If anyone needs me, tell them to come find me here."_ _

__"I can handle everyone for a while, Jensen. The camp won't perish without you," Jeff says with a grin. He gets up, touches Jensen's shoulder softly and then leaves._ _

__

____

*

Jensen makes Jay drink some more water and Colin shows up with some broth and bread, smiling widely when Jensen thanks him.

"Sandy put it together," he says. "There's more if you want anything else."

"We're good. This is great, Colin," Jensen assures him.

Jay watches Colin a little warily, body tense until the door falls shut behind him again.

"Let's get some food into you," Jensen says.

He sits down next to Jay while he sips the broth, keeping a careful eye on him, hand hovering near the bowl just in case. Jay manages to finish half of the bowl and a few bites of bread, and Jensen puts both down on the table when he's done, figuring they can reheat it later if Jay wants more.

"You want to get some sleep or clean up a little first? You can borrow some clothes, if you want to," he asks quietly. Jay seems so drowsy, and Jensen doesn't dare make too much noise, not wanting to startle him.

"Don't think I can move," Jay says quietly.

Jensen barely resists brushing the dirty, matted hair out of his face. "How about we give you a quick wipe-down; it'll make you feel better," he says. "And then once you've gotten some rest, you can take a proper shower?"

Jay looks torn for a moment, probably contemplating if having Jensen touch him is worth it, but finally nods carefully. Jensen gets a bowl of water, making sure it's nice and warm, and a clean cloth, and he lets Jay do as much as he can by himself before he takes over. 

"How long were you in the forest for?" he asks as he runs the cloth down Jay's back. The water in the bowl is already murky, the cloth dirty, but Jensen figures being half-clean will still feel better than being dirty.

"Two days," Jay says. "I walked as far as I could. Thought maybe eventually I'd luck out and find people."

"Well, you did," Jensen says, trying to sound casual. There's a lump in his throat just from thinking about what the kid has been through, the pain he has endured, and how goddamn strong he must be to have made it this far. He finishes wiping Jay's back down and then pats his skin dry. He helps Jay into one of his shirts and a loose pair of sweats, and then guides him down onto the bed, pulling the covers up over him.

"Try to get some sleep," he says. "I'll be right here, okay?"

Jay nods, and Jensen can't resist carding his hair back. "Close your eyes, Jay. Rest."

"Jared," Jay says quietly, and Jensen stops.

"Huh?"

Jay blinks up at him. "Jared. That's my full name. I… my parents died a few years ago and I... well, I was in the system for a while before I aged out. They started calling me Jay there. But... I was always Jared before," he says and then looks down at his arm. "I don't think I like Jay all that much."

"Jared it is then," Jensen says lightly, trying not to show how much his heart is breaking for Jared. 

Jared gives him a small smile. "Thank you."

*

Jensen stays with Jared for a while, waiting until he's truly fast asleep and showing no signs of agitation or nightmares, his breathing even and face relaxed in slumber. 

He tries to be quiet when he finally leaves the cabin. Jensen figures with how drained Jared was, he'll be out for a few hours and he'll be back long before he wakes up again.

He doesn't like the thought of leaving him alone, but he needs to talk to some of the others, figure out what the hell is going on and what they'll do about it. If there is anything they can do at all.

"Danni," he calls out when he sees Danneel rounding the corner a few feet ahead of him. She looks up, her expression serious, and Jensen guesses Jeff already talked to everyone. "We need to talk. Where's Jeff?"

"His cabin," Danneel says. "I'll get Sam and Misha and meet you there."

"Good idea," Jensen says and nods. 

For all intents and purposes, he's the one who's in charge at the camp, the one to make all the final decisions. But Jensen has never been one to make the rules without at least getting some input from the people he trusts, and it's worked well for them for the past few years. When he was elected leader, after the old one decided the camp wasn't the right fit for him anymore, Jensen asked Danneel, Jeff, Misha and Sam to act as his council. Most of the decisions he has to make are pretty run of the mill anyway—organizing trips to the city, dividing chores, being the person everyone can come to with concern and worries. 

He turns and heads back past his cabin and to Jeff's. All of the personal cabins are set up in a cluster together, and Jeff's is at the other end of their little settlement.

He takes the three steps up the porch quickly and knocks on the door, waiting for Jeff's "Come in." before stepping inside. 

All of the cabins are the same; one big living area and an adjacent bedroom. Jeff is sitting at his desk in the main area, a book open in front of him, and a few more stacked next to his elbow.

"The kid is sleeping?" Jeff asks, waving at the chairs by the table. Jensen grabs one and sinks down.

"Yeah. I don't want to leave him alone for too long, but we need to talk," he says. "Danneel is getting Misha and Sam."

Jeff runs a hand over his face, looking tired, and nods. "I've been reading, trying to find... well, anything, really," he says. "Jen, I've never heard of a mutant who wasn't born that way. With all the experiments they've run in the past, it was about reversing the mutation, not triggering one. This is bad. Really fucking bad."

"I know," Jensen says. "You talked to everyone?"

Jeff presses his mouth together, looking somber. "Kinda," he says. "I told them Jay was kidnapped and tortured, but I didn't tell them about him being changed yet. I figured we should talk about what we do now, how we're gonna handle the situation, before sharing that part. I'm sure everyone will have a lot of questions."

Jensen nods. "It should be my job to talk to everyone anyway."

"I don't mind doing it," Jeff interjects. 

Jensen nods. "I know. Thanks, JD," he says. They stare at each other in silence for a moment, and Jeff sighs when there's a knock at the door. 

"Come on in," he calls out, and Danneel, Misha and Sam slip inside together. They grab chairs as well and sit down.

"What's going on?" Misha asks. "Is this about the kid Jensen found? He okay?"

"He's gonna be fine," Jeff says. "At least physically. Mentally—well, I guess that's gonna take some time."

"How'd he find us anyway? Do we need to worry about people knowing our location?" Sam wants to know. 

Their camp, like most other mutant camps, is set up in the middle of mountains, miles and miles away from any towns. Few people know where it is and out of those that do, nobody would just give their location away, even to a fellow mutant. 

When the first kids were born with the genetic defect—the mutant gene, as it was called—back in the 70s, things quickly got ugly. Doctors and scientists did unspeakable things to some kids to figure the mutation out and a lot of kids were shunned by their families. There was no fix for the mutation though and people started getting more and more scared. Fear quickly turned into hate and violence, causing a rift that led to a lot of mutants fleeing society as soon as they were old enough. The first camps started cropping up in the early 90s. These days, most mutants live in camps like theirs, separate from society, but there are still plenty of altercations. So like most mutant camps, they've kept the location of theirs a secret for that very reason and done everything in their power to keep it concealed. 

Sometimes interaction with people is inevitable—they have to take trips to towns for supplies sometimes, and though most people in the nearby towns leave them alone, some attempt to start trouble every now and then. 

"He didn't find us," Jensen says. "Someone dropped him off in the area thinking there was nothing here. They thought he'd die out here. It must have been a random coincidence that he happened to get close to camp."

"The poor kid," Sam says, looking stricken. "Do you know who did this to him? If he was living in any of the towns nearby, why didn't anyone contact us and let us know there was a mutant out there who might need our help?"

"He wasn't from around here," Jensen explains. "And he wasn't a mutant until recently. He was basically picked off the streets and kept somewhere where they did experiments on him. They changed him."

"That's impossible," Sam says, her voice thin. "Right? That simply can't be. I've never heard of anything like that."

"Science has managed to create all kinds of things that seemed impossible," Misha says thoughtfully. "Hell, a little more than forty years ago nobody would have thought kids could be born with a genetic defect that would give them powers, and that happened, too."

"So, someone is turning people?" Danneel asks and looks between them, her face pale.

"Yeah, looks that way," Jeff says.

"Worse, we have no idea who it is or where the hell they are," Jensen says. "Jared lived in Austin. That's pretty damn far away, but who knows where they kept him. And he was dropped off two days ago and he's been wandering around ever since."

"Well, he was pretty hurt, so he can't have gotten very far. And maybe he can tells us how they got him to where they dropped him off," Jeff says. "It would at least narrow things down a little."

"Yeah, but how much? It'd be like looking for a needle in a haystack," Jensen says. 

"So, what do we do then?" Danneel asks quietly. "Assuming Jared isn't the only one they did this to, there are more like him out there, Jensen. And worse, god knows why they're doing it. They could be trying to create a freaking _army_."

"I know," Jensen says, because that's the obvious conclusion to draw. "Best we can do right now is be alert. I'll contact other camps and let them know what's going on. But I don't see what else we can do at this point."

"What about the police?" Sam asks.

Jensen frowns at her. "You wanna get involved with them? After everything people have done to us?" he asks. "Whoever is doing this, it could very well be a mutant and we might just give people a reason to try to get rid of us once and for all. And if people find out they'll start looking for Jared at the very least, for sure, to do god knows what to him to figure this out."

"No," Jeff says, voice firm. "We're not gonna do anything to endanger the kid. Or our camp."

"But Jeff," Sam starts.

Jeff gets up, his chair scraping against the wooden floor. "My parents sent me to doctors. And what they did to me wasn't even half as bad as what they did to some other kids, Sam, but it was bad enough," he snaps. "I won't ever let anyone go through what I did. We keep each other safe here, and he's one of us now."

Sam looks at Jensen, waiting for his final verdict. "No police," he decides, and Sam nods in compliance.

*

They split up, Jeff, Sam and Misha to let everyone know what's going on in detail and what has been decided, and Jensen and Danneel head to the tech room to get in contact with other camps.

By the time Jensen finishes the last video call, he feels drained. Having to tell the same story over and over again was exhausting, and the resulting discussions with other leaders even more so. His only relief is that, while everyone was alarmed and concerned, Jensen managed to convince everyone to not contact the police or government officials. For now, at least, this is something that will stay between them.

Aldis, who handles the tech room for them, claps him on the shoulder and smooths the other hand down Danneel's hair briefly.

"You two go get some rest," he suggests. "I feel fucking exhausted just having watched you making those calls."

"Thanks, Aldis," Jensen says and gets up. "We need to make sure any and all calls coming and going out are secure now more than ever, okay?"

Aldis gives him a wry smile. "Dude, I'm not an amateur. Nobody can hack us," he says and wiggles his fingers. "I got the magic touch when it comes to tech stuff, Jensen. You know that."

"Yeah, just... be extra careful. Make sure our security is air-tight."

"Got it, boss," Aldis says, the nickname teasing and Jensen rolls his eyes.

*

Jared is still asleep when Jensen returns to his cabin. With his face relaxed, none of the fear and pain etched into his features, Jensen can't help but look at him and think that Jared is beautiful now that he's taking the time to really see him. Despite the fact that he's still dirty, still too pale and definitely too skinny, he's quite a sight to behold. There's something delicate about his features, something utterly unique, and he makes Jensen feel so many things, most of all a fierce protectiveness and at the same time anger at the world.

He's spent the last few years making sure the camp was a safe haven for mutants, and now he realizes maybe it's lured him into a false sense of security. Everyone here has their fair share of baggage, have faced rejection and ignorance and hatred in their lives, but life at the camp is good. The camp is pretty self-sufficient and some of them do some freelance work that brings in enough money to take care of what little else they need. And Jensen had foolishly thought, or at least hoped, this is what it would always be like for them. That they can all leave the past behind here and live peacefully among themselves forever.

Now, he feels like the rug has been pulled out from under his feet. He wishes nothing would have to change, but deep down he knows it will. Jared's powers might not have manifested so far, but they're still there. Erratic as they are, he can feel them. So, clearly whatever was done to him is working, at least partially, and sooner or later the people who did this to Jared will probably succeed in whatever they set out to do. They'll create a mutant with working powers and god knows what they'll do with that knowledge.

Jensen sighs and finally tears his eyes away from Jared before it gets creepy.

It's starting to get dark outside, and Jensen lights a couple of candles in his living room. Someone—Jeff, he guesses—has left a few books on the table there and Jensen sits down with a tired sigh. Using his telekinetic powers, he makes the top book slide from the stack and into his hands. Settling back, he cracks it open and begins to read.

He likes to think he's smart, but a lot of the scientific mumbo jumbo in the book goes way past his head. And he can't help but wonder if any of the scientists who have written these books, who have researched the gene, are who are behind what has been done to Jared. If any of the names his eyes are skimming over are those of the people who kidnapped and _tortured_ Jared. It makes him feel sick to the stomach.

*

Broken moans and whimpers jerk Jensen awake. He fell asleep at his desk and it takes a moment for the fog in his head to clear, for him to remember what happened. The candles have almost burned down completely and his neck hurts as he moves to sit up straight.

Another noise draws his attention to his bedroom. Jensen gets up and crosses the distance to the open door of his bedroom.

Jared is moving in his sleep, tangled up in the sheets, and the sounds he is making are pained, scared. 

"Hey," Jensen murmurs and steps fully into the room. "Hey, Jared. It's okay."

He sits down carefully and reaches for Jared, stroking his hand down his arm. "Jared. Sweetheart, you're safe. It's just a dream," he says gently. He repeats it twice more, until Jared settles down and his eyes blink open, staring up at him.

"Where—" he starts, sounding both sleepy and scared.

"The camp, remember?" Jensen says. "Everything's okay. You're safe here."

Jared nods. "How long was I asleep?"

"A few hours," Jensen says. "Do you need anything? Wanna talk about your dream?"

"Can I have some water?" Jared asks, and Jensen gives him a small smile.

"Of course," he says. He gets up and quickly pours Jared some water. 

Jared takes the mug from him with a small smile; Jensen can see he's shaking a little, but he doesn't need any help sitting and drinking, and Jensen is glad to see him already a little stronger. 

When Jared is done, Jensen takes the mug from him and refills it, before putting it down on the small bedside table.

"In case you want any more later," he says.

Jared nods. "Thank you," he says, his voice still so soft, so unsure it breaks Jensen's heart a little. "Where are you sleeping?"

Jensen runs a hand over the back of his neck, still feeling a bit sore. "I was up reading. I'll just get some sheets and sleep on the floor later," he says. "Might grab a quick bite to eat first. Are you hungry?"

Jared shrugs. "A little," he admits. "I should sleep on the floor. It's your bed."

"You were hurt, Jared. You need some proper rest," Jensen says. "Don't worry about it, okay?"

"Thank you," Jared says, drawing his knees up. "For everything. If you hadn't ..."

Jensen crouches down and carefully touches Jared's arm. "You don't ever have to thank me for that. Everyone at this camp has been there—has been lost and needing a place to stay, a home. We get it, okay?" he says. "Just focus on getting better, Jared."

Jared gives a small nod. "Okay," he agrees and then yawns.

Jensen smiles. "Get some more sleep," he says. "I'll get us some food and you can have some whenever you wake up again."

*

Jensen never realized how much of a difference a shower can make, but Jared looks like a changed person when he returns from the bathroom facilities the following afternoon. His damp hair is curling around his face, his skin flushed from the hot water. Jensen's t-shirt is a little baggy on his slender frame, his pants a little too short, and somehow the ill-fitting clothes just make him look cute. Seeing him like that also makes a streak of possessiveness flare up inside of Jensen that he doesn't quite know what to do with. 

Jensen asked Jared how old he is earlier, and he feels a little less bad about thinking how beautiful Jared is knowing he's 20. Still young, but old enough for Jensen to look at him and not feel guilty about it. Or at least a little less guilty, because Jensen is pretty sure the last thing Jared needs right now is someone crushing on him. And it's way too soon anyway—Jensen has always taken his sweet time to develop feelings, and he thinks maybe it's all just getting mixed up in his head anyway; the fact that Jared has been hurt and Jensen wants to help, wants to fix him, getting mingled up with the fact that he's pretty much exactly Jensen's type and sending the wrong signals to Jensen's brain. 

Jared tugs at the hem of his shirt as he steps back into Jensen's cabin, his posture awkward, and Jensen gives him a smile. 

"You clean up nicely," he comments, just to say something and ease the tension.

Jared's cheeks seem to flush a little more pink at that and he ducks his head. "I looked pretty horrendous last night, huh?" he asks, sounding embarrassed.

"I think anyone would after what you've been through. But you look a lot better today," Jensen says. 

"Thanks," Jared mumbles.

Jensen clears his throat, not sure what to say next. "So," he starts. "Do you want me to show you around some more? Introduce you to a few people?"

Jared pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, biting down on the flesh, looking a little unsure. "Would it be okay if I took a nap?" he asks. "I just... still feel really tired."

"Of course. You don't have to ask for my permission, Jared," Jensen says. 

"It's your place," Jared says quietly. "I hate imposing on you. If there's somewhere else I could go to get out of your hair—"

"It's fine, Jared. You're not imposing," Jensen assures him. "I can show you around later, whenever you feel up to it. You get all the rest you need first."

"Okay," Jared agrees and gives Jensen a small, shaky smile. "Thank you, Jensen."

*

Jensen doesn't want to smother Jared, and he has a camp to run, so he spends most of the next day in their vegetable garden, pulling out weeds with Julie and Jake for a few hours. Usually, he'd use his powers for a task like that, but today Jensen decides to actually use his hands and let the manual labor distract him as much as possible. It's hard to not think about the broken, confused young man back in his cabin though. To not worry about him. And when he's not, he's worried for all of them and what this could mean for them.

Jensen has no doubts that his decision not to contact the authorities is the right one. They've all had too many bad experiences with them. The trips they take every few weeks to stock up on groceries are the most contact they have with people, face to face. Aldis and Rob both do some tech work to bring some money in, Adrianne sells handmade jewelry online from time to time and Felicia had some short stories and poetry published under a pseudonym. But they do it from camp and most of the people they work with or for don't know they're mutants. 

It's something that, if they do have to interact with people, they all try to keep a secret. They have no reasons to trust anyone but each other and Jensen isn't about to risk their safety, nor their anonymity. 

But other than contacting official channels, there's nothing they can do at this point. It feels like they're biding their time, waiting for the other shoe to drop now.

Earlier this morning, while Jared was still sleeping, they all gathered in the main cabin and Jensen caught everyone up to what was going on. And despite the worry and fear, at least almost everyone seemed to agree that this was something they had to handle on their own. They'd also agreed to patrol the area around the camp more frequently, beyond where their security system reaches, and Danneel is currently working out a schedule for all of them. 

It doesn't feel like enough, but their hands are tied for now.


	2. Chapter 2

"Join me," Danneel says when Jensen passes her cabin that afternoon, on his way to clean up. She's sitting on her porch, a glass of water in her hand, and pats the space on the porch swing next to her.

Jensen hesitates, but then nods. "I'll get dirt everywhere."

"I like things a little dirty," Danneel teases, wiggling her eyebrows.

Jensen laughs and sits down next to her. He steals her glass and gulps down most of the water, before refilling it from the pitcher Danneel has sitting next to the swing. "What's up?" he asks as he hands the glass back to her.

"I finished the schedule. It's up in the main cabin," Danneel says and stretches her legs out. She puts one foot on the ground and gives the swing a little push. "I paired you with Gil."

"Great. Thanks for doing this," Jensen says. Danneel nods and looks at him, poised like she wants to say something, so Jensen quirks one eyebrow at her.

"Jen, I think sooner or later you should let some of us talk to Jared," she says carefully. "I know you and Jeff already talked to him, but there are still so many questions. And I know he needs rest, needs to adjust, but we need as many answers as we can get."

Jensen picks at a smudge of dirt on his palm and sighs. He knows Danneel is right; there are probably still a lot of things Jared can tell them, a lot of details to be filled in. "I'll talk to him about it," he promises, but he doesn't give her a timeframe. As important as this is, he has to consider Jared's health and feelings too, and he can't push him before he's ready. 

Danneel gives him a small smile and tips her head to the side, resting her cheek against his shoulder. "From everything you've told me, he's pretty damn strong to have made it this far. He'll be okay."

"I hope so," Jensen says. "I can't imagine going through what he's been through. I just... want to make sure he's okay. That's always been what this place has been about, Danni, and I want this to be a place where he can feel safe and happy the way it's been for all of us, too."

Danneel sighs, but then nods. "You know, there's a reason most of us wanted you to be in charge, Jensen. You're so good at that—taking care of people, protecting them," she says. "But you can't shield Jared from everything and everyone."

"It's been two days."

"Yeah. But not everyone is comfortable with him here. It's nothing personal, but I know some people think with Jared here we're painting a target on our backs," Danneel says. "And hey, maybe in the long run we are. I don't think we should turn him away because of that; but it's something you should keep in mind, Jensen."

Jensen huffs and plants one foot on the porch, pushing. The swing squeaks a little as it starts swinging a little harder than before. "Well, _people_ should talk to me then," he says.

"I'm sure they will," Danneel says. "But we can all tell how protective you are of Jared already."

"Do _you_ think that's a bad thing?"

"Me? Hell no," Danneel says. "The kid needs as many people in his corner right now as possible. But I do think we all need to get to know him, talk to him."

"I actually can't disagree with that," Jensen admits. "He's one of us now. If he wants to be, that is."

"Yeah. And maybe we can clean out one of the spare cabins tomorrow, so he can have his own space," Danneel suggests. "I think that would send a good signal, make him being here more permanent, you know?"

Jensen groans at the thought. "Where are we gonna put all the junk, though?" he asks, and Danneel makes a face.

Jensen has been meaning to have them put up another cabin or two. Since he got here a little over ten years ago, the number of people has almost doubled. They're still a small camp, only thirty people currently, but they usually get about one or two new people showing up a year and it's a good idea to have a few spare cabins just in case. Right now they only have two empty ones, and if Jared takes one of those they really need to build one or two new ones the next few months. And cleaning them out will be a bitch—currently the two spare cabins are used as storage space, and they've been stuffing whatever things they don't have a use for into them.

"Well, Jared can't stay with you forever," Danneel says. "You're not getting any younger; you're too old not to sleep in a bed. Unless you've been sharing yours."

"Jesus Christ, Danneel, no," Jensen snaps, straightening a little. "I haven't been taking advantage of him. I'm not an asshole."

Danneel sits up too and sighs.

"I don't mean it like that; he might be wanting someone close for all I know," she explains. "I know you wouldn't do that."

Jensen rubs a hand down his face. "I wouldn't," he agrees, just to stress it again.

Danneel puts her hand on his arm and rubs it a little. "I hear he's really cute though," she says, voice lighter. 

"Who said that?"

"Everyone who saw him yesterday when he left the cabin to shower," Danneel says with a small smile. 

"He's been through hell and back, and he's barely been here two days and people are already ogling him?" Jensen says, a little disgusted. The thought of people checking Jared out, possibly making him feel uncomfortable, doesn't sit right with him. And at the same time he's been doing it too, looking at Jared and noticing how attractive he is. There's a draw there Jensen hasn't felt in a while.

"Not ogling, just noting. It was pretty innocent talk, Jen," Danneel reassures him. She leans into him a little. "Well, in Colin's case there might have been a little jealousy, too."

Jensen groans.

"I'm kidding," Danneel says and laughs. "I know the kid is crushing on you, but I think at the end of the day he'd rather be you than be _with_ you anyway."

"Well, it would never happen anyway. He's way too young."

"He's nineteen," Danneel points out, and the words make Jensen's stomach twist a little, because Colin and Jared are basically the same age. "But I wasn't being serious anyway. There might be one or two other people who won't be too happy if you have a good-looking, young guy staying in your cabin with you for too long though."

"Matt and I were always casual. He knows that," Jensen says, voice tight. He doesn't have to ask to know who Danneel is talking about. Jensen has been in a couple of relationships since he got here, albeit casual, but not in the past few years. Hooking up with Matt has been his only allowance to himself, and it had worked great until Matt had started to want more.

Danneel lets out a long sigh. "But he's in love with you anyway."

"Which is why I stopped sleeping with him," Jensen points out.

"Doesn't change his feelings," Danneel says. "He can't help it, Jensen. And you can't help not having feelings for him. But it is what it is, and he's bound to get jealous if someone else steps into your life."

"Why are we even talking about this? Jared was seriously hurt; I'm taking care of him. We all should be," Jensen says. "There's nothing else to it, so it's a moot point anyway."

"Yeah, okay. Back to my point though—I think in the long run it's better if he has his own place," Danneel says. "And, you know, if you do like him that's okay, too."

"He doesn't need that kind of crap right now. And I barely know him."

Danneel shrugs, then nods. "Fine. But remember that I know you pretty damn well, Ackles."

Jensen pushes off the swing and sighs. "Well, you remember that you're a nuisance."

"Cute though, right?"

Jensen looks at Danneel, at her sweet smile and eyes sparkling with mirth. "Not really. I'd rather go out into the woods and sleep with a bear or something."

"Okay, a? You're fucking weird. B? I always thought you were a pitcher," Danneel mocks, and Jensen rolls his eyes. "C? I remember a time you were singing an entirely different tune."

"Shut up. I was young and confused and didn't know better yet," he mutters, and Danneel grins widely. "I'm going to get cleaned up now and check on Jared. You know what's for dinner today?"

"Vegetable stew that Ty is making, I think. And Christian and Lauren were going to bake bread."

Jensen hums and stretches. "Perfect."

"Maybe ask Jared if he wants to join us all for dinner tonight," Danneel suggests, voice pointed.

"I'll ask," Jensen agrees. "But I won't push him to do something he isn't comfortable with yet."

"That's all I ask, Jen," Danneel replies.

*

Jared agrees to have dinner with everyone in the dining hall, and Jensen gives Jared a small tour of the camp first. He shows Jared the main cabin, the biggest building with a lounge, a room for assemblies and some smaller rooms that people can use to hang out and relax; he shows Jared the tech room, the vegetable garden, the chicken coop and pasture with cows, the gym and the medical bay, before he finishes the tour off with the kitchen and food storage, before leading him into the dining hall.

"You can go back to the cabin if you get overwhelmed," Jensen reminds him as they enter the building. Walking around camp with Jared has allowed most of the camp to get a look at Jared and Jensen hopes that will make sitting down for dinner easier. Jared still gets stared at plenty though, and Jared doesn't leave his side. 

"Too much?" Jensen asks halfway through dinner. Jeff is sitting at the table across from them, and Jensen is glad Jared seems comfortable with his presence at least.

Jared gives him a small, slightly tight smile. "They're curious. I get it," he says. "I'm sorry, if I'm causing a disruption or anything."

"You're fine," Jensen says and barely resists touching Jared to offer him some reassurance.

"Danneel told me we're clearing out one of the spare cabins for you tomorrow," Jeff speaks up, giving Jared a smile. 

Jared nods. "Jensen mentioned it earlier. You don't have to though—I can sleep wherever."

"Everyone gets their own cabin," Jeff says. "It's a ground rule around here."

"Okay," Jared says, smiling a little. "Thank you."

*

Cleaning the cabin out takes longer than Jensen thought, mostly because they need to figure out what to do with all the stuff they've been keeping in there. Gil, Adrianne and Misha help him and Danneel, and afterwards Danneel and he scrub the place clean and air it out.

"Good as new," Danneel says when they're done, placing a new set of bedding on the bed. "We'll need to get Jared some stuff. Clothes and whatever else we need."

"Yeah," Jensen agrees and stretches, popping his back. 

"You think he'll stay?" Danneel asks, her tone softer. 

Jensen looks around the cabin and shrugs. "It sounds like he doesn't have a whole lot to go back to to begin with," he says. "But who knows. I think right now he's still too overwhelmed by everything."

"I would be, too," Danneel says. "Just imagine going from being one of _them_ to being one of _us_. But at least he's safe here."

"I guess. But he didn't grow up being a mutant and you know how a lot of people feel about us," Jensen muses. "I mean, he doesn't seem to have a problem with us, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's still a bit unsettling."

"I remember my first week here," Danneel says, chuckling. "I was so weirded out by the whole thing, too. I knew I was supposed to be happy, to be comfortable in a place that was just people who were like me, but instead it just felt foreign."

"At least you weren't as bitter and mad at the world as I was," Jensen says.

Danneel grins and taps her knuckles against Jensen's jaw. Her touch is hot, not enough to hurt, to burn, but startling if Jensen wasn't so used to the heat rolling off her when she doesn't try to control it. "Guess Jared will fit right in then, 'cause most of us were pretty fucked up when we got here," she says. "Why don't you show him his new place, see if he likes it? I really need to go take a shower anyway."

Jensen sniffs the air and makes a face. "I wasn't gonna say anything, but..." 

"Screw you. That's your own stench you're smelling."

*

"You can come find me if you need anything anytime," Jensen says, watching Jared sit down on his new bed, slowly smoothing out the sheets with one hand. "Or if you just don't feel like being on your own."

"Okay," Jared says. "Thanks, Jensen."

Jensen makes a short, humming sound. "Of course," he replies. "And if I'm not around and you need something, go find Danneel or Jeff. One of us should always be on the campground... or anyone else, really, but Danni and Jeff are who I would turn to."

"Do you leave the campground a lot?" Jared asks. He looks a little uncomfortable, and Jensen goes to sit down next to him, careful to leave some space between them.

"Not a lot," he reassures Jared. "We take trips to towns when we need stuff every few weeks, so every now and then I might be gone for a day. And we patrol the area around camp regularly, but I'm not gonna be gone for more than a few hours in that case. We've... well, we've upped the security a little."

"You think someone is going to come here?"

"No," Jensen says, shaking his head. "Probably not. Nobody but us knows this camp is here and they probably think you're, well, dead anyway. But it's better to be safe than sorry, right?"

"But I'm probably not the only one they did this to," Jared says, voice thoughtful.

"Probably not," Jensen agrees.

"Can I ask you something else?"

"Sure," Jensen says. 

Jared clears his throat, taking a moment. "It's about your, uh, powers. People have different ones, right?" he asks, and when Jensen nods, he continues, "What's yours?"

"I'm telekinetic. I can move things with my mind," Jensen says. He watches Jared carefully for a reaction, knows it's something that freaks people out easily. Jared takes a moment, like he's processing the information, and then nods.

"I haven't seen you do that."

"No," Jensen agrees. He's been careful not to use his powers around Jared these past couple of days since he found out Jared wasn't born a mutant, not wanting to scare him. 

"Can I see it?" Jared asks carefully. He seems a bit hesitant, but not scared, so Jensen finally nods.

"Yeah," he agrees. He looks around the room, trying to settle on something to move to show Jared, and then points at the chair by the small desk in the corner of the room. When Jared looks at it, Jensen waits a moment and then makes the chair slide back a little.

Jared flinches, then lets out a chuckle. "Fuck, I've never seen anyone do something like that. I mean, on TV, but not in real life."

"You okay with it?" Jensen asks. "I mean, I know it's different. And probably a bit unsettling if you're not used to it, but I promise you I'm not dangerous. None of us here are."

Jared looks at him and nods slowly. "It's cool, but it _is_ a bit scary, too," he says and then grimaces. "Sorry, that's probably not a great thing to say."

"It's fine, Jared. If it's not something you're used to seeing I bet it can be kinda jarring," Jensen says. "Did you ever know anyone who's a mutant?"

Jared shrugs. "There was a girl in my class in highschool, but her family moved after a few months. I didn't really know her."

"Most people don't know any mutants. There aren't that many of us and those who don't live in camps usually try to hide what they are... You know, that's probably what makes it a lot scarier, because people aren't used to it."

Jared nods. "At the... lab, or whatever that place was. They said that the injections worked, that they did change me."

"Yeah," Jensen agrees. "We can feel it on you. It's like an energy that other people don't have and we can feel it. Usually it's steady, just something that's always there. I've gotten so used to being at the camp that I don't even notice it with anyone anymore. With you it's a bit different—it's not a steady flow of energy; it kinda flickers. But it _is_ there."

"But I can't do anything," Jared says. 

"Maybe. Or maybe you can and you just need to figure it out."

"If I don't, what does that make me? I'm not like you, but I'm not like... like most people anymore either," Jared says.

Jensen reaches out, carefully strokes his hand down Jared's back once. "You don't have to label yourself, Jared. You don't have to be either. But as far as I'm concerned, you're one of us if you want to be. You have a place here."

Jared nods slowly. "Being different sucks," he mutters.

"Yeah," Jensen agrees and snorts. "Yeah, it does."

*

Despite Jensen's promise to Danneel to talk to Jared about giving them more details, he doesn't bring it up over the next couple of weeks. Jared seems to be adjusting slowly, and it never feels like the right time.

Jensen should have known that Danneel would take things into her own hands eventually, because she's never been a very patient person.

"Jared agreed to talk to us after dinner," she says to Jensen as they head over to the dining hall together one afternoon, her voice casual in a way that Jensen knows she's trying hard for.

"What?" he asks, dumbfounded.

Danneel gives him a look that's both apologetic and exasperated. "We're meeting up at Jeff's cabin," she says. "I figured you wanted to be there."

"Danneel—"

"I didn't force him. I didn't even push," Danneel interrupts, holding up a hand. "I asked, he agreed. Okay?"

"Okay," Jensen reluctantly agrees, even though he isn't very happy about the whole thing. But if Jared agreed to talk to them, then he has to accept it.

When they meet up at Jeff's cabin later—Jeff, Danneel, Misha, Sam, Jared and he—Jared seems a little hesitant, though, and Jensen is determined to step in and not let things get too far as necessary.

"I know you don't know much," Jeff says, breaking the silence after they've all settled down on the chairs in his cabin. "But I was hoping maybe we can get some kind of clue about where they kept you or maybe even who they are. The smallest details might help."

"Anything is better than nothing," Sam says, and Jeff nods.

"Exactly."

Jared meets Jensen's eyes briefly, looking nervous, and shrugs. "I really don't know."

"You said they knocked you out when they kidnapped you, right?" Jeff prods.

Jared nods. "I don't remember anything after what happened back in Austin at the park. I was feeling pretty dizzy and groggy when I woke up, so I guess they gave me something."

"What about when they dropped you off here?" Misha chimes in.

Jared rubs the back of his neck. "I was in the back of a van, no windows. They didn't give me anything that time, but I was really out of it and I was really scared. I... I kinda passed out for while."

"If you had to guess though," Misha continues. "Hours? A day? Two?"

Jared rolls his lower lip between his lip, chewing at it for a moment. "Definitely a few hours. I don't know," he says. "If I had to guess, I don't think it was for more than a day. It felt long, when I was awake, but I was locked in a dark van. It was definitely several hours though."

"It's a start," Misha says. "I've been wondering something else. The people you interacted with, Jensen told us you said they covered their faces. But they talked to you, right?"

"Yeah," Jared says carefully. "Sometimes."

"Anything about them that stuck out? Did they have accents?" Misha says. 

Jared shifts on his chair and gives a shrug. "I'm not very good with accents. I'd never even left Texas before any of this," he says. "They weren't southern. But other than that their accents weren't very... noticeable, I guess. Kinda like everyone on TV sounds."

"Hmm," Misha hums, looking thoughtful.

"Could be something," Jeff says.

"How?" Jared asks. "I couldn't tell you where they're from."

"Which would mean they're not from somewhere with a very distinct accent," Jeff points out. 

"I don't really understand how any of this is helping," Jared admits, deflating a little. He tugs a strand of his hair behind his ear. "Nothing I can tell you would be enough to find them... a—and you don't want to. Believe me. You wanna stay as far from these people as possible."

"It's just a precaution," Danneel says. She scoots her chair closer to Jared's and puts her hand on his shoulder. To Jensen's surprise, Jared doesn't flinch or move away from the touch. He hasn't been keeping tabs on who Jared interacts with, but he seems comfortable with Danneel at least. "We're not going to do anything to draw them here. We promise. We just want to be prepared, in case something happens."

Jared swallows and nods. He looks exhausted, even though they haven't even talked yet, but Jensen can only imagine how taxing this must be for Jared.

"Maybe we should call it a night," he suggests.

Jared meets his eyes and then shakes his head. "I'm okay," he says. "I can do this."

He doesn't sound quite convinced himself, but there's a firmness to his voice anyway, and Jensen already knows him well enough to know he will soldier through this. He doesn't think Jared realizes just how strong he is; and it leaves Jensen a little bit more in awe of him. 

If he were in Jared's place, he thinks he would have shut down, would have told everyone to leave him alone. But Jared is here, talking, because they're asking him to. Because he thinks it will help them.

And all Jensen wants to do in that moment is pull Jared into his arms and keep him safe, shield him.

*

"Let's go raid the candy stash. Maybe the liquor cabinet, too," Danneel says, drawing in a big breath as they step out onto the porch of Jeff's cabin.

Jared looks pale, eyes a little red and puffy from the tears he's shed while sharing more and more details with them. Jensen isn't sure anything of what he's told them will be helpful, but he knows the things Jared told them have created images in his head that he will never be able to get rid of. He understands it a bit better now—the fear Jared experienced, being locked in a small room, having strangers inject stuff into him; the pain as they inflicted violence on him everyday; the hopelessness of being there on his own, not knowing if he'd ever get out. If the nightmare he was living in would ever be over.

Jensen's stomach is rolling from everything Jared has told them and there's a pain starting to throb behind his eyes.

"Jensen?" Danneel prompts. "You wanna come with us? I think we all need a bit of a pick-me-up right now."

Jensen shakes his head. "I think I'm just gonna head to bed," he says. He glances at Jared, finds him looking down at the ground, and shifts closer. "Hey. You gonna be okay if I leave you alone with Danni? She doesn't bite, I swear."

Jared lifts his head and cracks a small smile. "I'll be fine," he says. "There'll be candy after all."

"Okay," Jensen says and gives Jared a grin. He reaches up and curls his hand gently around Jared's upper arm. "If you don't want to be alone tonight, you know where to find me. Okay?"

"Okay," Jared agrees.

*

Jensen tosses and turns in his bed, unable to stop thinking about Jared in a small room, alone and hurt, never knowing when the next round of experiments would start. He can't get his mind to shut up and let him fall asleep, no matter how tired he feels. 

Using his powers, he opens the windows, hoping the fresh air and familiar sounds of the wind in the trees outside will help him calm down, but he closes them again a few minutes later when he finds the rustling of his curtains grating on his nerves.

He's no closer to sleep when a knock sounds. Jensen pushes himself up and slides out from under the covers. He knows it's Jared before he even reaches the door, and he barely resists smoothing his hair down and tugging the boxer-shorts and shirt he sleeps in into place. Jared is here for comfort and Jensen doesn't need to impress him. Shouldn't want to, to begin with.

Jensen pulls the door open.

Jared has his arms wrapped around his middle, looking a little sheepish. "Hey Jensen," he mumbles.

"Jared," Jensen says and steps aside, ushering Jared in. "Wanted some company?"

"Yeah. If—if you don't mind," Jared says. "You said I could come over."

"You can come here anytime, Jared," Jensen assures him and shuffles a little closer. They're standing in the middle of Jensen's main room, and Jensen isn't really sure where to go next—whether to sit down here and offer Jared a drink, maybe, or if Jared wants to lie down, wants to crash here. With Jensen. And Jensen doesn't want to presume anything, doesn't want to make assumptions, but the thought makes his stomach twist a little in a not entirely unpleasant—but entirely inappropriate—way.

"Were you sleeping?" Jared asks.

"What?" Jensen asks, and then follows Jared's gaze down to his own chest and the rumpled t-shirt he's wearing. "Oh, no, not really. Trying, but ..."

Jared shifts, looking awkward. "I don't want to keep you up."

"Sweetheart," Jensen starts. "I don't mind. I've just been tossing and turning anyway."

Jared ducks his head, lips curling up into a small smile that Jensen can barely see from this angle. "I like it when you call me that. Sweetheart," Jared admits softly and then looks up again, bangs hanging into his eyes. "My momma always called me sweetheart, too."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," Jared says, smiling shyly. It makes Jensen want to reach out and tug him close, hold him. He realizes it's getting out of hand, these feelings he's starting to have. They're slowly morphing into more than just wanting to protect Jared and finding him attractive. There's something about Jared that draws him in, that he finds utterly intoxicating.

Jensen has had crushes, has tried relationships here at camp, but nobody has ever gotten to him the way Jared does. 

"So, uh," Jensen starts, looking for something to say. "Do you wanna talk?"

"I'm actually really tired of talking," Jared replies, and he sounds it, too. "And really tired in general. I just... wanna crash, if that's okay."

"Sure, yeah. Of course," Jensen says.

"Can I stay here with you?" Jared shifts, looking a little sheepish. As if Jensen would ever kick him out—though, to be fair, Jared doesn't know him all that well yet. He can't read him the way Danneel and Jeff can, hasn't figured out that Jensen is a push-over.

"Yeah. Bed's all yours," Jensen says, nodding. 

"You—" Jared looks at him and then clears his throat. "You can stay. I mean, we can share."

"Sweetheart, it's okay. I can take the floor," Jensen tries.

Jared shakes his head, almost before Jensen can get the words fully out. "No, I... please? I don't mind sharing and... it'd be nice not to be alone."

"Hey, sure, if that's what you want, of course I'll stay." Jensen agrees. 

He tries to act nonchalant as he leads Jared into his small bedroom, averts his eyes and slips under the covers as Jared takes off his jeans. They haven't taken any trips to town since Jared got here, but Tom is about the same height Jared is and has given him some of his clothes, so at least Jared has something to wear in the meantime that fits better than Jensen's stuff. 

Jensen lifts the covers for Jared, and Jared settles down next to him, leaving a bit of space between their bodies.

"This okay?" Jensen asks anyway.

"Yeah, it's fine," Jared says and then shrugs. "I don't mind being close to you, Jensen."

Jensen nods, even though the words do things to him that he hopes Jared never finds out about, make him think about being even closer. He pushes himself up and reaches across Jared's body to turn off the dim lamp on his bedside table. He hears Jared's intake of breath as the room goes pitch black.

"I can turn it back on," he offers.

"No, I can deal. It's okay," Jared says. Jensen nods, even though Jared can't see him, and lies down again. 

"Tell me something," Jared murmurs when Jensen has settled down.

"About what?"

"Anything. It's just that... hearing your voice helps. Knowing someone is there, that I'm not back in that room all on my own," Jared explains quietly. "Just talk about something. Like, how'd you end up here?"

"It's a long story," Jensen replies.

"Oh. I mean, you don't have to. It's personal; I get it," Jared quickly says, sounding like someone who was caught doing something wrong.

Jensen exhales slowly. "No, it's not that. It's just not a super happy tale," he says. "But I can give you the cliff notes, I suppose."

"Okay," Jared says. 

Jensen shifts, pulls the covers up a little higher. "I didn't have it as bad as most of the others here at camp," he starts, because he knows his life could have been much worse. 

"Doesn't mean it was great," Jared interjects.

"Yeah," Jensen agrees and gives a humorless snort. "But my family loved me. In their own way. And looking back I guess having a kid with the mutant gene wasn't easy for them either. And they tried. But I always felt like they loved me despite what I was, and I just wanted them to love me unconditionally. To treat me just like they treated my siblings. I didn't want to be different; I didn't want to be the kid that was flawed."

He hears Jared sigh and then the sheets rustle as he moves. He gets close enough that Jensen can feel the heat of his body, but he doesn't touch. "Were you the only one in your family with the gene?"

"Yeah," Jensen says. "Only one in the entire town. So I wasn't exactly Mr. Popular."

"I'm sorry, Jensen."

"It's okay. I got by. Like I said, my family tried. They didn't abuse me or shun me; they just didn't get it," Jensen says. "And I got a lot of crap from other people. Some of it was just typical high school stuff. Teasing and bullying. The people who treated me like I was a ticking time bomb were worse. I was never dangerous or violent or anything, but I felt like everyone was always watching me, treating me like a threat."

"You weren't. I mean, I didn't know you back then, but you're a good person. Probably the best I've ever met," Jared says, and Jensen doesn't get overly emotional easily, but the words make his eyes sting and he blinks.

He tries to be good, to _do_ good, because he never wants to prove the people from his hometown right. Even if they'll never know, if they'll never see or hear from him again, he wants to be the exact opposite of what they thought he was.

"Thanks, sweetheart," he murmurs. 

Jared hums softly. "When did you come here?" he asks, prompting Jensen to keep talking.

"Summer after I graduated. I had applied to college, and I guess I could have hidden what I was and made it work," he muses. "But the thought of never fitting in, of always being someone people fear and hate—I couldn't do that. I didn't want to live like that."

"God, people suck."

"Yeah," Jensen agrees with a soft laugh. "So, I packed a few things and told my family I would find a camp to live in. At least for a while. And they... they weren't _happy_ about it, but they didn't try to talk me out of it either. I think they thought it was the best solution and I guess that was the final straw for me."

"Do you still talk to them?"

"Not really. I write them letters every now and then, about once or twice a year, just to let them know I'm okay, but that's about it," Jensen admits. "And it _sucks_ , but being here made me realize what family could _really_ be like. I'm better off here."

"Must have been great, finding this place."

"Hmmm, I guess, I don't know. It took me a while. I had a bit of money my parents gave me, and I felt like I had to get far away from home, to just leave everything behind. So I got on a bus, just bought a random ticket. Thing is, these camps aren't easy to find. I stayed in cheap motels, did some odd jobs here and there to make some cash, and it took a few months before I met someone who knew how to put me into contact with someone who could help me find a camp."

"Where was home?" Jared asks, sounding a bit sleepy now. Jensen smiles.

"Texas. Like you."

"Really?" Jared asks, the sleepiness gone again and replaced by excitement. "Man, I wouldn't have guessed."

"I've been here for more than ten years, I kinda lost my accent. It'll come out sometimes, though," Jensen says.

"Still. It's cool that you are," Jared says. "Like I got someone from home here."

"Yeah," Jensen says. The thought that the camp isn't home for Jared actually hurts a little. He knows it's too soon, that Jared is still healing and coming to terms with everything, but Jensen hopes to hell that with time Jared will come to view the camp as home, too, that he'll want to stay. Because Jensen is way too attached already and he knows it would hurt if Jared decided to leave.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," Jared says. "So, you found this place?"

"Yeah," Jensen says. "And it wasn't all sunshine and roses. I was... a teenager. I was hurt and lonely and for a while I was really angry. At the world for making me so different, at people for not being able to accept me, to love me. Coming here was overwhelming enough as it was, but it took me a while to embrace it. I was really closed off at first, keeping people at arm's length."

"What changed?"

"I just needed time. I settled in, got to know people, bonded with them," Jensen explains. "Jeff was really great. Took me under his wing and we got really close. And then Danni came here about half a year after I did and I had friends here by then, but she and I just clicked. I'd never had best friend before."

"She's really nice," Jared says. "I mean, kinda intimidating. But she's been really nice to me."

"She's a great person. And she likes you, Jared," Jensen says. "There are a lot of good people here, you'll see."

"But I'm different. Kinda like you were back home," Jared says softly. "Everyone is walking on eggshells around me and I bet not everyone is comfortable with me being here. With me being not like you guys."

"Sweetheart, the circumstances of how you got here are weird and scary. I'm not gonna lie," Jensen says. "But it's not _you_. And if people are being cautious, it's because they don't want to scare you or make you feel uncomfortable."

"But you shouldn't have to change your lives because of me," Jared argues. "I mean, nobody uses their powers around me. I don't want that; I don't want people to act differently around me."

"Then tell them," Jensen suggests. "They're trying to be considerate, but if they're going about it the wrong way, then it's okay to say that. But our powers, it's maybe not what you think. Some you wouldn't even notice; others have powers that they don't use on a day to day basis. This place isn't... Hogwarts or whatever."

"Hogwarts?"

Jensen snorts at Jared's amused tone. "I've never read those books. I don't know."

Jared laughs at that, the sound soft and carefree. "Maybe you should. They're really good."

"Maybe," Jensen agrees. "My point is, a lot of us don't use our powers all the time, because they're not useful in everyday situations. So don't worry about it too much."

"Okay," Jared says. "Can you tell me about them? The powers everyone has?"

"Yeah, I can do that," Jensen agrees, knowing Jared must be curious. He knows what kind of things are being said about mutants, the way people talk about their powers—he grew up hearing all of it too—and it gave even him the wrong idea, made him feel wary and scared of mutants. 

Somewhere between Jensen telling Jared about Misha's shapeshifting abilities and Danneel's pyrokinesis, Jared falls asleep, his breathing evening out. Jensen lies still, listening to Jared's soft exhales, mingling with the sound of crickets coming in from the window he has cracked open.

*

The first few weeks after Jared's arrival, the atmosphere at camp is more tense than usual. Every time a group comes back from their patrol, there's a moment of nervousness as they wait for any news. But with each day that nothing happens, things settle down. The new patrol schedule becomes their new normal.

Jared, unsurprisingly, is especially twitchy at first, but Jensen can see him starting to relax a little, to get more comfortable around camp. He starts spending time outside more with the rest of them, talking to people, helping out in the garden and with the animals. Jensen sees him hanging out with Danneel, Misha, Mike and Colin more and more, that Jeff has been helping him catch up on his knowledge about mutants and he spends a lot of time in the tech room with Aldis and Rob as well. 

He's also starting to look healthier. Getting regular meals helps him put on weight quickly, and he starts working out with Tom and Alona. Jensen sometimes joins them, though seeing Jared all sweaty, new-forming muscles building as he lifts weights or does squats is a little too distracting and makes his mind wander to a place he's been trying really hard to stay away from.

Jared doesn't leave the campground, though, and Jensen notices that he usually hangs around the main building whenever a pair of them is due to return from patrolling, looking tense and worried, no doubt waiting for bad news. Some of the others notice, too, giving Jared a thumbs up or yelling a quick "All good." as they come through the gates, and Jared will look like a weight's been lifted off his shoulders before returning to whatever task he was doing before.

"He seems to be doing better and better with each day," Sam notes, her voice quiet like she's sharing a secret with Jensen, a couple of weeks after Jared's arrival. She's helping Jensen sort through supplies, putting together a list of everything they'll need to get to start working on two new cabins. "Looking back at it now, I'm not proud of the way I reacted at first."

"You didn't do anything wrong," Jensen tells her. 

Sam sighs, dropping the clipboard with the list she's been writing out. "I was thinking about us, not him."

"That's not a bad thing," Jensen points out and gives her a wry smile. "This could still go south for us."

"You think it will?"

Jensen sighs and lets the box of nails he's just found soar back onto the top shelf. "Sooner or later, yeah. Whatever those people are doing, they're probably not going to just give up."

"Well, I guess we can only hope we'll be ready for them," Sam muses. "We've all proven that we're a pretty resilient bunch, Jensen. If nothing else, we won't be going down without a fight."

"Yeah," Jensen agrees and then sighs. "We need more nails."

"Got it," Sam says, picking the clipboard back up to write. "He's a sweet kid, you know."

Jensen hides his smile, turning back towards the shelf and rummaging around the neatly labeled boxes there. "Yeah," he says.

"There's something about him that draws people in. A kindness, a sweetness," Sam continues. "I mean, he's still so shy, but he's already got a lot of us in his corner."

"I know," Jensen says, thinking about how he's noticed it, too. Jeff has a serious soft spot for Jared, Mike and Misha seem to have made it their mission to make Jared smile these past few days, and Danneel dotes on Jared in a way she usually never does with other people, making sure he's eating and not hiding away in his cabin all day. They're becoming Jared's friends, but more than that they all seem to feel incredibly protective of Jared. 

Jensen is happy for him, of course, but he can't deny that he gets jealous far too easily these days.

Like right now, he knows Jared is at the gym with Tom. And Tom is a great guy; he's a good friend of Jensen's and he knows he'll be a good friend to Jared, too. Jensen knows there's nothing there, knows Tom has been crushing on Alona for far too long to suddenly take an interest in someone else, but there's a part of him that can't help but feel uneasy anyway. Tom is good-looking and smart and sweet and when he demonstrated his powers when Jared asked him about them a few days ago, there'd been such a look of awe and wonder of Jared's face when Tom vanished into thin air right in front of him that Jensen's heart still hurts just thinking about it.

The only thing that eases his jealousy is the fact that he and Jared still spend a lot of time together. He's the one Jared turns to when he needs someone to talk to and he hangs out with him more than anyone else at the camp, but Jensen still feels a little jealous of everyone else Jared is bonding with. And he hates himself for it, because he doesn't want to be that guy. He wants Jared to have friends and be happy and feel at home here. He just can't help that, maybe, he's crossed the line from having a crush to being a little bit in love with Jared somewhere along the line.

*

"What did that poor bag do to you?"

Jensen stops, holds his hands out so the punching bag swings into them, halting its movement, before he pulls the boxing gloves off and turns to face Jeff.

"It's a punching bag. You're supposed to punch it," he says and drops the gloves.

"You were pummeling it pretty hard there, kid," Jeff notes.

Jensen wipes the back of his hand over his brow and shrugs. "Needed to blow off some steam," he admits. 

"Hmm, yeah, Danneel told me you were in a bit of a mood today."

"I haven't even talked to Danneel today," Jensen mumbles and grabs the bottle of water he brought with him to the gym. He twists the cap off and takes a big gulp.

"Exactly. She says you've been walking around with a frown on your face all afternoon, so she's been staying clear," Jeff says. "What's up? Everything okay?"

Jensen sighs. "I just realized something today," he says.

Jeff raises his eyebrows, looking at Jensen expectantly. "Tell me what this is about, Jen. You know I hate having to drag things out of people."

"Jared," Jensen starts, glancing at the door to make sure it's closed. The gym has several smaller rooms with basic equipment that everyone can sign up for, and Jensen knows nobody would just barge in. Jeff is an exception, but he and Jeff have always had an open-door policy with each other.

"Of course," Jeff says, smiling a little. "Everything lately has been."

"Hmm, that's the problem," Jensen says and cuts Jeff a glance. "I shouldn't feel that way about him, Jeff."

"What way?"

"You know what way," Jensen says and drops his shoulders. "I like him. And it's turning into a bit more than just liking him and it shouldn't."

"Why? Are you pushing him into anything?" Jeff asks, tone exasperated. He leans against the wall, crossing his arms casually over his chest.

"Of course not," Jensen says.

"Exactly." Jeff nods. "Jensen, you like him, you can't help that. And there's nothing wrong with that anyway."

"After everything he's been through, he doesn't need that," Jensen argues. 

"Says who? And as far as I can tell, you're not even doing anything about it anyway," Jeff says. "And hey, maybe this is exactly what he needs. He's an adult, Jensen—yes, he's young and he's been through hell, but he's smart and he's a grown-up, and he can make up his mind about what is right for him and what he wants."

"You're talking about this as if it's mutual. When what this really is is me lusting after him and that feels wrong, Jeff."

"Lusting," Jeff repeats with a snort. "Alright."

"I am. I want him."

"Yeah, but you want a lot more than a quick fuck, Jensen. I know you. I know you care about him. Anyone can see you have feelings for him. The fact that that goes hand in hand with wanting to have sex with him is kind of normal and it's really okay," Jeff teases. "And come on, Jared likes you. We can all tell you two are drawn towards each other."

Jensen sighs. "I can't help thinking that it's too soon. Too much."

"Let him be the judge of that, if it comes to it," Jeff says.

Jensen shrugs, but doesn't say anything. Part of him, the part that doesn't feel guilty about his feelings for Jared, knows Jeff has a point. But Jensen can't help wanting to protect Jared—even from himself. 

"But that's your lot in life, huh? Shouldering the weight of the world and thinking you always have to responsible," Jeff continues.

"What?" Jensen asks, frowning at Jeff.

"You've been sacrificing yourself for this camp, for the people here for years. Long before we decided you should be the next person in charge around here after Julian left," Jeff says. "And that's great. That's part of the reason why people look up to you and trust you. But it's okay to go after something you want, too."

"Thanks, dad," Jensen mutters, rolling his eyes.

Jeff pushes off the wall and punches him in the shoulder. "Shut your mouth, youngin'," he says. "So, I kinda feel like I need a drink now. You want one?"

Jensen hesitates for a second, then shrugs. "What the hell, right? Yeah."

"That's my boy," Jeff says with a grin and slings his arm around Jensen's shoulder.

*

Jensen is more than a little tipsy when he leaves Jeff's cabin. The buzz is pleasant, making him feel lighter, better than he has in a while.

He staggers a little and laughs softly to himself as he takes the steps down the porch. He steadies himself before he heads towards his cabin. It's late, after dark, and Jensen doesn't really watch where he's going, lost in thought, and he's made it halfway to his cabin when he runs right into someone.

"Oops, sorry," he mutters, grinning, and looks up into a familiar face.

*

Jensen wakes up with a warm body plastered to his back, and for a second he thinks it's Jeff because the last thing he remembers is having drinks with him. He extracts himself carefully, mind still foggy with sleep and a hangover, and turns around, coming face to face with messy black hair. 

It comes back to him them. Stumbling back to his cabin and running into Matt. Matt, who'd smiled and touched his arm, and at the time it had suddenly seemed like a good idea. Something to take his mind off Jared.

"Shit," Jensen mutters. He bites down on his bottom lip, chewing on it, and tries not to jostle Matt, wake him up, as he starts to get up. He knows it's a cowardly thing to do, but his head is pounding and his stomach feels squeamish from more than just the whiskey he had last night. He needs to clear his head, figure out how to deal with this before having Matt confront him.

Luck, it seems, isn't on his side, because Matt stirs when Jensen stands up. 

"Jensen?" Matt murmurs, and Jensen feels the phantom touch of his hand on his shoulder, caressing his skin. Jensen flinches and the touch vanishes.

"Go back to sleep," he whispers, hoping it'll be enough to make Matt doze off again.

Matt shifts and blinks up at him with sleepy eyes though. "Come back to bed," he mumbles.

"No, I should head out," Jensen replies, and bends down to grab his underwear off the floor. Their clothes are strewn all over the room. They'd been in a rush, Jensen fueled by the drinks he'd had, for once not thinking about anything but wanting to feel good.

"Why? It's still early," Matt says. He sits up and rubs his eyes, before grinning. "And we don't have to sleep if you're not tired anymore."

Jensen sighs, pulling his underwear up quickly. "Matt, last night was great. Really great," he says sincerely. "But it was a one time kinda thing."

"Except that wasn't the first time, Jen," Matt says, his smile dimming a little. "Come on. You've always been up for a second round, baby."

Jensen crosses his arms over his chest, suddenly feeling uncomfortable with how little he's wearing around Matt. He's seen it all, more than once, but Jensen put an end to this for good reason. He knows he messed up, knows he's an asshole for going home with Matt last night when Matt has feelings for him that Jensen can't, won't, return. 

"I was drunk last night. I shouldn't have come home with you, Matt. I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression," he says. 

Matt's expression falls, hardens. "Right."

"I'm sorry, Matt," Jensen says, and Matt gives a curt nod.

"Whatever," he says. "Just... get out of here. I can tell you're dying to get away, Jensen."

Jensen wants to argue with that, to make Matt feel better. But there's really nothing to say, nothing to make up for what he did. He gathers his clothes with his powers, pulling them on quickly, and then leaves wordlessly.

*

He runs into Jeff on the way back home to his cabin, who smirks at him.

"You look like shit," Jeff says gleefully. They both know Jensen will ask him about making the headache go away; they all make use of Jeff's powers in moments like that. But Jensen just wishes Jeff could make the guilt gnawing at his stomach go away as well, or better yet the whole night.

Something must show on his face, because Jeff's expression turns a little more serious. "What did you do?" he asks.

"Matt," Jensen mutters and then cringes at how crass it sounds.

"Oh Jesus, Jensen," Jeff sighs. "When I told you to go after what you want, I wasn't talking about hooking up with _Matt_ again."

"I know. It really wasn't on my agenda either," Jensen says. "It just... happened, I guess."

"What, you tripped and landed dick-first inside of him?"

Jensen glares at him, but Jeff doesn't seem fazed by it.

He looks around, then says with a lowered voice, "Look, liking Jared? That's not wrong. Getting Matt's hopes up again? Kinda is."

"I know," Jensen says and sighs. "I was drunk and I know that's not an excuse. I know it was a dick move."

"It was," Jeff agrees. "Word of advice, Jensen? Get this thing with Jared figured out before it makes you do any more stupid stuff."

*

It's Tom and Danneel's turn to patrol that day and Jensen asks Danneel to switch his next shift with him just to get away from camp a bit. Patrolling gives him something to do, a chance to clear his head, and Tom doesn't seem to mind that they barely talk.

He feels a little better by the time they return, thinking a little straighter again. He knows that what happened with Matt can't happen again. It's convenient and nice and they always worked well together in the bedroom, but if Jensen can't give Matt what he needs then he knows he needs to stay away.

And Jared. Well, Jensen still isn't sure what to do about him, but he can't let it mess him up. He has a job to do, people to take care of. Jeff is right—Jensen can't do anything about his feelings, can't stop himself from having them. 

"You're an idiot," Danneel says when Jensen is back at camp, heading into the main cabin to find the schedule with chores and see if there's anything else that needs to be done today.

She's looking both amused and a little stern.

Jensen heads for the corkboard in the hall. "You talked to Jeff, huh?" he guesses.

Danneel leans against the wall next to the board and shrugs. "Yeah. And you're an idiot," she repeats.

"I know. The thing with Matt was stupid."

"Yeah, it was. But I'm not even talking about that," she says. "We all know how you feel about Jared and if any of us thought it was wrong, we would have told you by now."

"Danneel."

"No, listen to me," Danneel says, giving him a pleading look. "Don't you think maybe it's a good thing? After everything he's been through, he deserves to be happy. Having someone care for him, love him? That doesn't have to be a bad thing."

"It's a lot to put onto someone's shoulders," Jensen argues.

"Sometimes, yes. But if it's mutual, it can be a great thing," Danneel replies. "It's not like he can't say no, Jensen. But you're not even giving him a chance."

"I don't want him to feel awkward around me or, worse, obligated to be with me."

"Babe, you're great and all, but nobody thinks they have to be with you just because you want them. You're not our overlord," Danneel says. "Have you ever thought about how this might be a good thing for him? How it might make him happy?"

Jensen shrugs, finally looking at the schedule pinned to the board, skimming the list without any of the words really registering.

"God, men are stupid," Danneel mutters. She straightens up and sighs. "He's in love with you, too, you goddamn moron."

"No, he's—"

"Yeah, Jensen. He absolutely is," she says. "I know, because he's just as obvious about it as you are."

"Danni," Jensen starts. "I can't. I can't be the one to take the first step."

"Why not?"

"Because even if you're right and he does have feelings for me. Even if being with him would be a good thing for him. I think I'd always wonder if he's with me for the right reasons, if he didn't just go along with what I wanted. Felt obligated to be with me because we helped him, offered him a place to stay."

"So you're just gonna pine and wait for him to make the first move one day?" Danneel asks. 

"Maybe," Jensen says, and forces himself to give Danneel a sad smile that's probably more of a grimace.

"And if he makes the first step?" Danneel asks, and there’s a glint in her eyes that worries Jensen a little. 

"It's be different," Jensen says and then huffs. "I don't think I could reject him. I'm having a hard enough time not doing anything stupid around him as it is."

Danneel hums in reply. "I guess at least that's something. Though, just so you know, you're still stupid."

*

Jared smiles at him over dinner, dimples popping, and Jensen's heart feels like it skips a beat in his chest.

"You okay?" Jared murmurs.

"Yeah," Jensen says, clearing his throat. "Of course."

Jared gives him a small frown. "You've seemed off these last couple days."

Jensen exhales, trying to relax, and then shakes his head. "Just thinking about some stuff, sweetheart," he says, and Jared smiles again, softer this time. 

Jensen isn't convinced Danneel is right about Jared's feelings, and if she is, he still isn't sure how he feels about it.

*

Jensen throws himself into work over the next few days, just to distract himself, to not think about Jared and how he feels and how Jared might feel. 

He patrols, checks the animal traps they have set up around camp more often than strictly necessary, spends hours in the vegetable garden and cleans the chicken coop until it looks like it's almost new. And yet, his thoughts always stray to Jared, and every time he sees him, a little bit of hope blooms in his chest that Danneel is right. That there's a chance and maybe, someday, he'll get what he wants.


	3. Chapter 3

Jensen pulls the door to the main cabin closed behind him and takes the few steps down from the porch. The camp is quiet; there are still lights on in some of the cabins, but there's nobody else outside. 

Jensen has always liked this time of the night, when the camp becomes so peaceful. He can hear wind rustling in the trees and it's still warm, but it's cooled down considerably since sunset and Jensen takes a deep breath. Slowly, he makes his way back to his cabin, taking the long route just to be outside for a bit longer, to enjoy having the camp to himself.

He rounds a corner, eyes automatically drawn to the last of the five cabins lining the path. The first four are dark, everyone apparently already asleep, but there's a light on in the last one. It's Jared's cabin. And as Jensen gets closer, intending to just walk by and make sure everything is okay, he realizes he isn't the only one still outside after all. Jared is sitting on the bench on his porch.

He looks up as Jensen approaches and smiles at him, and in the dim light Jensen can see how tired he looks. His hair is messy, knees drawn up onto the bench against his chest, and he's got a blanket wrapped around his shoulders.

Jensen stops at the porch.

"Hey," he says, keeping his voice quiet. "Can't sleep?"

Jared shifts and gives a soft sigh. "Nightmare," he admits, sounding a little rough. 

He doesn't say anything else and Jensen clears his throat, everything inside of him aching to get closer, to offer comfort. "Want some company?" he asks.

Jared scoots to the side, making room for Jensen, before nodding. 

Jensen gives him a small smile and takes the steps up onto the porch. He takes a seat next to Jared, making sure to leave some space between them. Sometimes Jared seeks out physical comfort, other times he doesn't like to be touched, and he waits for a cue from Jared as to what he needs right now.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he offers.

Jared looks at him and then down at his lap and shrugs. He swallows thickly, and Jensen watches the way his Adam's apple bobs, how he clenches his jaw before relaxing. 

"Just the same old stuff," Jared finally says, and Jensen hates how shaky he sounds. Jared draws his legs up tighter against himself and glances at Jensen from under his unruly bangs. "I was back in the room. With them."

"Sweetheart," Jensen murmurs, and Jared gives a little sniff.

"Know what the worst part about the room was for me?" he asks, and then continues before Jensen can say anything, "There were no windows. I never knew what time it was, if it was day or night. What the weather was like. It made me feel so lost. Like I wasn't really part of the outside world anymore; I was completely closed off from everything."

"You're not there anymore, Jared. And you're never going back there either," Jensen says. He knows it's not really a promise he can make Jared, but he knows he's willing to do anything to make sure of it. 

Jared gives a small nod and rubs a hand over his arm, right over the tattoo. 

Jensen hesitates for a moment, but then he reaches out and catches Jared's wrist in his, his touch gentle. He turns Jared's arm around and looks at the tattoo, the black ink barely visible in the darkness.

"Maybe you should get rid of this," he suggests and runs his fingertips over the tattoo.

Jared doesn't pull away, doesn't move. "Yeah? Anyone here have a laser power or something?" he jokes.

Jensen looks at Jared's arm thoughtfully, feels the soft warm skin under the tips of his fingers. "No, but you could get it covered up. I know a tattoo artist who could probably do that for you easily enough if you wanted," he says. "He has a shop in Oakridge. It's just a couple hours from here. We've got some errands to run, groceries and stuff. I was thinking about going into town in the next few days anyway. You'd have to leave camp, but he could probably cover this up for you in no time."

"Oh," Jared murmurs and looks down at his arm, then back up at Jensen. "Is he..."

Jensen doesn't need to hear the rest to know what Jared is asking, and he shakes his head. "No, he's not like us. But he's a good guy. Jeff's gotten a bunch of tattoos at his parlor and he's done a couple of tattoos for me, too."

"You have tattoos?" Jared asks, and the fact that that's what Jared is focusing on makes Jensen's stomach flutter a little. It's ridiculous, but he can't help it. Can't help but like that Jared seems intrigued.

"A couple, yeah," he says, mouth a little dry. 

"Can I see them?" Jared asks.

"Yeah," Jensen answers without having to think about it. "I mean, if you're thinking about getting yours covered up, you should see for yourself if the guy is any good first, right?"

"Hmm, yeah," Jared agrees and shifts. He leans back, resting his head against the backrest of the bench and turns his head towards Jensen with a small smile. "Would you come with me if I decided to get a tattoo?"

"Of course," Jensen says. 

"I'd probably require hand-holding," Jared adds, and he's teasing Jensen now. _Flirting_. 

Jensen lets his hand slide down Jared's arm to his hand, interlacing their fingers, but keeping the touch innocent. Comforting. "I can do that, sweetheart," he says.

Jared smiles sweetly and squeezes his hand. "I'd really like that," he says. "The tattoo _and_ the hand-holding."

"Okay. Good; I'm happy to be of service," Jensen says with mock seriousness. He doesn't make a move to let go of Jared's hand, warm and strong in his.

"You always are," Jared says, sounding genuine. "Jensen, if I tell you something, can you promise me not to be mad?"

The words take Jensen by surprise a little and he turns more towards Jared, meeting his eyes. "Sweetheart, I'd never be mad at you."

"Hmm, but you can't be mad at anyone else either."

"I can't really promise you that."

Jared makes a face at him. "Well, I can't tell you until you do," he says.

Jensen sighs and then, after a moment of hesitation, gives in. "Fine, I promise."

"Okay. And if I totally got this wrong, you have to be nice about it," Jared adds. He sounds a little nervous and Jensen's stomach suddenly swoops, both with nerves and from anticipation, hope bubbling up in his chest.

"Promise," he agrees.

Jared's lips twitch up into a smile. "I talked to Danneel a couple days ago," he starts. "And she, well... I made her tell me, so you can't blame her. I just wanted to know if there's, uh, if there's a chance that you and I could ever, you know—"

He trails off and Jensen can't help but stare at him, waiting for Jared to go on.

Jared shifts, and if there was any more light, Jensen thinks he would probably see a soft blush on his cheeks now. 

"Anyway. She basically said that we're both idiots and one of us had to make the first move eventually and that you got it into your head that it has to be me," Jared finishes, words a little rushed.

Jensen's heart stops. And then it picks up again, beating twice as fast. He's going to kill Danneel, he decides. And maybe get her some flowers.

"But I need it to be you," Jared continues. "'Cause fuck knows I don't know what I'm doing."

The words feel like a blow to the chest, but not in an entirely bad way. Jensen isn't sure what to do with them, how to react at first. And then what Jared said replays in his head startles a laugh out of him and he tries to muffle it so he won't wake anyone up. "Sweetheart," he murmurs. "You just _did_ make the first move."

"Oh," Jared mutters and then gives Jensen a hesitant smile. "So? Umm, was she right?"

And Jensen shouldn't. But Jared made the first move, wasn't pushed into this by him, and Jensen can't help himself anymore. 

He leans in, giving Jared a second to pull back, to stop him, but he doesn't, and Jensen cups his face and kisses him. It's slow; Jared lets Jensen lead and Jensen doesn't want to push Jared too far, so he takes his time, brushes their lips together in a series of soft kisses before he draws back.

"Was that okay?" he asks.

Jared blinks at him, close enough that Jensen can feel his hot breath. "Really okay," Jared confirms and leans in for another kiss that feels almost shy.

Jensen smiles and slides an arm around Jared's shoulders, tugging him against him, draws him in for a kiss that's a little deeper, a little more sure. He stops before it gets too far though, pressing a few lingering kisses to Jared's lips before he pulls back completely.

"It's late," he says.

"Yeah," Jared agrees and licks his lips. "Wanna stay with me tonight? Not to... just to sleep."

"Of course, sweetheart," Jensen says, and Jared looks almost relieved. It makes Jensen wonder how often Jared has had nights like these—where a nightmare has made him stay up, made him sit out here on his own. Where he wanted company but didn't dare to come to him.

Jensen kisses his forehead, then the bridge of his nose, and silently prays that he can give Jared what he needs. That his presence is enough to ease Jared's fears and worries at least a little bit. That Danneel and Jeff are right and this will be a good thing, will be just what Jared needs.

*

The one and only time they shared a bed, Jensen made sure to keep his distance. To offer Jared the comfort and company he needed without actually touching.

This time, as they get into bed together, Jared gives him a shy smile and then scoots closer, sliding a hesitant arm around Jensen's waist. Jensen sighs, wraps his own arm around Jared and pulls him against him. He kisses Jared's forehead, his hair tickling against his nose.

"This okay, sweetheart?"

"Perfect," Jared mumbles and burrows closer. 

Jensen nods, lets his hand trail down Jared's back and then strokes it back up again. "Yeah," he agrees softly, nose brushing against Jared's hair.

*

Jared is already awake when Jensen wakes up the next morning. He's looking at Jensen, face half swallowed up by the pillow under his cheek, looking sleepy still. His lips are curved up in a small smile and he looks comfortable, relaxed. It curbs any freak-out Jensen expected to have, seeing Jared look so at ease.

"Good morning," Jensen mumbles, and Jared's smile gets a little brighter.

"Good morning," he replies. He leans in, brushing their lips together in a quick, soft kiss and then pulls back. Jensen licks his lips, wanting nothing more than to chase Jared's lips, draw him back in. Instead he rests his cheek on the pillow, too, and lifts his hand up, curving his hand around Jared's nape, thumb resting just under his ear. He strokes the smooth, silky skin there gently.

"Still okay?" he asks.

Jared gives a small laugh. "Definitely still okay," he confirms. "I've been thinking about the tattoo thing you mentioned."

"Hmm. And?"

"I think I really wanna do that," Jared says. "I want to get rid of the tattoo. It just reminds me of what happened every time I look at it."

"We can call Rich—that's the artist—and see if he has any openings soon," Jensen suggests.

Jared nods. "Can I see yours?" he asks.

"Yeah, sure, I told you I'd show you," Jensen says. He pulls back and slides out from under the covers, smiling when Jared frowns.

"What are you doing?"

"It's easier this way," Jensen explains and lifts his right leg, planting the foot on the mattress, just beneath the pillows. He turns his foot to the side, so Jared can see his ankle. There's a black feather, just behind the protruding bone. "That's the first one I got years ago."

Jared pushes himself up onto his elbow and peers down at the tattoo. "What does it mean?"

"Umm, that I was twenty and wanted a tattoo?" Jensen says and gives a soft laugh. "Danneel and I both got it. We just thought it looked nice, really."

"Oh. Okay," Jared says and pushes himself up further, sitting up. He looks up at Jensen with a small smile. "You got more than one, right?"

Jensen nods and hums. He pulls his foot off the bed and taps his hip, covered by a t-shirt and boxer-briefs. "Got another one right here."

"Can I see that one too?" Jared asks, his cheeks blushed pink. "I mean, if you're comfortable with it."

Jensen grins and lifts his shirt, pushing the edge of his underwear down over his hip bone. He tries not to show Jared more skin than he has to, to accidentally flash him, because he doesn't want Jared to feel uncomfortable. 

There's a compass low on his belly, just next to his hip bone. It's all in black, the needle pointing north-west instead of north. 

Jared looks at it for a moment, then back up at Jensen. "Is that one random too?" he asks and then flushes. "I mean, it's a pretty common motif, right? Not that that's bad."

Jensen laughs. "Nah, I know. It's pretty cliché," he says. "I just wanted something to remind me of where I belong. The needle points in the exact direction the camp is if I were back home in Texas."

Jared cocks his head to the side, looking at the tattoo again and his lips tug up into a smile. "That's kinda cool," he says and then his smile turns into more a grin. "I mean, for a second there when I saw it I thought you didn't know how a compass works."

Jensen snorts. "Gee, thanks, sweetheart," he says.

Jared's grin gets wider and he shifts forward on the mattress. "Can I touch it?"

Jensen nods, watches Jared lifts his hand. He traces the tattoo carefully with the tip of his finger, the touch gentle. "I like the way they look," he notes.

"You should see some of Jeff's. They're a lot more intricate."

"Hmm, I think I want something really simple though," Jared says. 

"Yeah?"

Jared nods and drops his hand. Jensen pulls his underwear back up and drops his shirt. 

"I want this tattoo to be covered completely, so I want something solid," Jared says. "Maybe a star. Is that too basic?"

Jensen shrugs. "You should be getting whatever you want, whatever you like."

Jared hums and nods. "My dad had a telescope. He'd look at the stars with me sometimes, showed me all the constellations," he says and then laughs a little. "It's what he did with my mom on their first date, too."

Jensen shifts and cups Jared's face in his hands, trails his thumb over Jared's cheeks. "I think a star would be great then," he says.

*

They make the drive to town three days later. Jensen can tell Jared is nervous and it gets worse the further they get away from the camp. He's doing okay on the short hike to the cars, but Jensen can tell he's getting more and more tense as they get there. Jensen asks Danneel to take the wheel this time so he can slide into the back seat next to Jared instead.

Jensen never feels truly comfortable leaving the camp either, feels on edge around people, always worried about what could happen. 

Misha and Matt are with them, too, Matt sitting in the passenger seat and Misha in the back with Jensen and Jared. Jensen isn't really happy about Matt tagging along, not wanting things to be tense, because he knows this will already be nerve-wracking enough as it is for Jared. But Matt asked and Jensen didn't have a good reason to say no.

"You don't have to this if you're not ready," he murmurs to Jared a few minutes into the drive, quiet enough that nobody else hears him. "We can do this another time."

Jared shakes his head. "I wanna do this," he says, voice more sure than he looks, and Jensen nods. 

It's a two and a half hour ride to town, and Danneel turns the music up and rolls the windows down. They spend some time discussing all the errands they need to run, working out a schedule.

As they get to the edge of town, Jensen feels Jared get more tense, and he touches his arm surreptitiously. Jared gives him a small, nervous smile and Jensen mouths at him, "I'm here."

*

In town they split up. Danneel, Matt and Misha head off to stock up on food and other supplies and they agree to meet up again in a few hours.

"Just keep your head down, ignore everyone," Jensen tells Jared and gives him an encouraging smile. "Come on, let's get you inked, babe."

Jared licks his lips and nods. "Yeah, let's do this," he says, and Jensen bumps their shoulders together.

 _Jr.'s Tattoo Parlor_ is a good fifteen minute walk away from where they parked the car, in a little, slightly dingy side street. Right outside, Jensen stops and meets Jared's eyes.

Jared takes a deep breath and then nods. "Okay, ready," he says, and Jensen smiles at him.

"You'll do fine, sweetheart, you'll see," he says and pushes the door open.

Richard is a bit much at first, the kind of person you have to get used to, but he seems to pick up on Jared's nervousness quickly and becomes a little calmer, a little less obnoxious. Even more so when Jared shows him his arm.

"I wanna get this covered up," he says, words a little mumbled.

"What the hell is that?" Richard asks, peering down at the tattoo. 

"Does it matter?" Jared asks nervously, glancing at Jensen.

Richard looks at him and then at Jensen, who gives him a pointed look, and shrugs. "Of course not," he says. "You got something in mind?"

"Something simple," Jared says and tugs his arm up against his chest again, hiding the tattoo. "I... I like stars. Looking at them. It's a bit cliché, but..."

He trails off, a sheepish expression on his face. 

Jensen shifts closer. "Hey, I think it's a really great idea," he says, and Jared gives him a grateful smile.

Richard nods. "How about we draw something up and see what you like," he says.

*

Richard doesn't suggest anything fancy. He ends up drawing a star with a smaller one on each side, and Jared rolls his lower lip between his teeth, chewing on it as he watches Richard do the quick sketch.

"I like it," he says.

"Cool," Richard says. "Let's do this then. How are you with pain, kid?"

Jared pushes his shoulders back, a frown on his face. "I've probably been through worse," he says, and when Richard raises both eyebrows, looking like he wants to ask, Jensen shakes his head and shifts closer to Jared.

Jensen holds Jared's hand while he gets the tattoo, just like he promised. He pulls up a chair next to Jared, on the other side of where Richard is sitting, and slides his hand into Jared's, interlocking their fingers.

"Ready?" Richard asks.

Jared takes a couple of deep breaths and Jensen squeezes his hand when he nods.

The needle starts buzzing and Jared tenses, then he flinches when Richard starts inking him.

"Look at me, sweetheart," Jensen murmurs, running his thumb over the side of Jared's hand. Jared turns his head and meets his eyes.

"Can you handle it?" he asks quietly.

Jared nods. "Not too bad. It just startled me," he says, voice just the tiniest bit strained, but not enough to worry Jensen. He rests his other hand on Jared's thigh, the touch casual, and smiles.

"First time I was here, Jeff was getting a tattoo. I wanted to see what it was like," he says, just to give Jared something to focus on and distract him. "Jeff didn't even bat an eyelash while Rich was inking him. He was smiling and joking around, and I thought ' _this is easy_ '. So I came back here with Danneel a couple of months later."

"And?" Jared asks.

Richard snorts. "I thought he was going to pass out," he says.

"Shut up and do your job," Jensen snarks playfully and then turns his attention back to Jared. "I _didn't_ nearly pass out. But Jeff had made it seem like it didn't hurt, so I thought it'd be a walk in the park. I almost called it off at first, but I didn't want to walk around with a black dot, so I decided to not be a wuss and keep going."

"He was whimpering and complaining the whole time," Richard adds.

"And you were making fun of me, asshole," Jensen says, grinning.

Jared laughs a little. "What about Danneel?"

"Cool as a cucumber," Richard answers and Jared glances at him before looking back to Jensen.

Jensen shrugs. "She's made of steel," he says. "And by the time Richard was done I was already thinking about getting another one."

"When did you get the second one? Right away?"

"Nah, years later," Jensen says. "Jeff talked me out of getting a second one before I found something a bit more meaningful. Said one random tattoo as a youthful indiscretion is okay, but two is just stupid."

"And he would know," Richard says. 

Jensen snorts.

"Yeah," he agrees.

"Are you thinking about getting more?" Jared asks softly. Jensen lets his eyes stray to Jared's arm, the needle outlining the star. The buzzing sound is oddly soothing to him, familiar even though he hasn't been here that many times.

"Sometimes, yeah," he says. "I might need some hand-holding, too, though."

Jared blushes, cheeks going a pretty pink shade that makes Jensen's stomach flips. "'m sure that can be arranged," he mumbles.

*

By the time Richard is done, Jared's skin is glistening with a light sheen of sweat but he doesn't seem to be in pain. He's smiling, and when Jensen pulls him into a quick, chaste kiss—not caring that Richard is there, watching—Jared leans into him.

"It looks great," Jensen says. "You like it?"

"I do," Jared says and then turns to Richard. "Thank you so much, Richard. It's awesome."

"Welcome, kid," Richard says and then nods at the now empty chair. "Jensen, wanna get your third sooner rather than later?"

"Nah, not this time," Jensen says.

Richard quirks one eyebrow. "You sure? I can tattoo the kid's name across your chest or something," he mocks. 

Jensen gives him a look, rolling his eyes. "I'm good. Thanks."

"Fine, whatever," Richard says. "You go back to your secret Neverland or wherever you guys live. I'm still not sure it's not just some crazy commune, by the way."

"Yeah, you figured out our secret," Jensen deadpans, knowing full-well that Richard knows exactly what they are even though they've never talked about it.

Jared clears his throat. "I mean, just because we all sleep together doesn't mean it's a commune, right?" he asks with wide eyes. 

Richard looks gobsmacked for a second, before laughing. "Oh man, I like you, kid," he says. "You come back here, you hear me?"

"I think I just might," Jared says, nodding, looking down at his arm that's now wrapped.

"How much do we owe you, Rich?" Jensen asks, but Richard shakes his head, while putting some equipment away.

"First one's free," he says, and Jensen doesn't point out that he had to pay for his first tattoo. "I know I'll be making money off you guys in the future. Just tell Jeff that there are plenty of parts on his body that aren't covered yet and I miss his ugly mug."

"Will do," Jensen says and reaches for Jared, intertwining their hands. "Ready to go? There's an ice cream parlor not too far from here and we have some time before we're meeting the others."

Jared gives him an amused look. "You know I'm not a kid even though everyone keeps calling me that, right?"

"Oh, I know," Jensen says, wiggling his eyebrows. "So, that a no on the ice cream?"

"No, it's not," Jared says, and Jensen grins winningly.

*

They're on their way back to the car, walking side by side, so close that their shoulders keep brushing together, when Jared tenses, his steps faltering.

"Sweetheart?" Jensen says, keeping his voice low. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Jared says and gives him a weak, unsure smile. "I thought I saw something. Just... thought someone was watching us from across the street, but I'm probably just paranoid."

Jensen nods. "We come here every few months," he says. "People aren't stupid, they can guess what we are and that there might be a camp somewhere around here. So it's not unlikely that some people are watching us."

"Oh. Okay," Jared says, nodding. "I thought... well, you know, that it was someone who recognized me."

"Baby, it's okay. You're safe," Jensen murmurs, but he takes a glance around, just to be sure. He can't see anyone staring at them or looking suspicious, and he gives Jared a smile that he hopes eases Jared's worries a little.

"I don't know what they looked like anyway," Jared mutters, shrugging. "Sorry, I didn't mean to worry you."

"You're not, Jared," Jensen assures him. "Come on, let's just get back to the car and go home, huh?"

"Yeah," Jared says, and he sounds relieved.

*

"You got everything we need?" Jensen asks when they get back to the beat-up, black SUV they drive. The trunk is packed and the outlines of boxes are visible under the tarp covering the small trailer.

"Yeah," Danneel says, giving a curt nod.

"Everything okay?" Jensen prods.

Danneel shrugs. "Nothing worse than usual," she says.

"People are still dicks," Misha adds, tone cheerful.

Jensen sighs. "Okay, let's get going then," he says. 

"What about you guys?" Danneel asks, glancing at Jared's arm with a smile. "Everything went off without a hitch?"

"Yeah," Jensen says and meets Jared's eyes, smiling at him. 

They all pile into the car, Danneel and Matt in the front again. 

Halfway back to the camp, Jared starts nodding off. Jensen isn't really surprised—Jared has handled the day well, but Jensen guesses that leaving the camp for the first time has still taken its toll on him. It doesn't take long before Jared's head drops onto his shoulder, the weight of his body slumped against Jensen.

Danneel glances back at them, smiling, and Jensen feels a bit like a giddy school boy with his first boyfriend. He can't even be mad at her for meddling anymore.

It's only when he notices Matt is watching them, looking back at them from time to time, too, with a frown upon his face, that Jensen's mood dampens a little.

It was bound to happen. Matt was bound to find out about them. And Jensen thinks maybe he should have talked to him, told him, but things with Jared are still so new, he wouldn't even know what to say.

*

"Not too bad, kid," Jeff says, looking at Jared's arm. He's healed it, and Jared is looking at it with a giddy little smile now that makes Jensen want to pull him close and kiss him breathless.

"It's not artsy or anything. Not like yours," Jared says sheepishly. "But I like it."

"Well, personally, I think that's really all that matters," Jeff says and claps Jared on the shoulder.

"Thanks, Jeff," Jared says. 

"Any time," he says. "So, how was your first trip to town? Exciting?"

Jared looks back and forth between them and then makes a face. "I think I prefer staying here, actually," he admits.

Jeff grins. "Yeah, same. Life here sucks a lot less than it does out there," he says, and his tone is light, but Jensen winces anyway, knowing all the crap Jeff has been through.

"Rich's jonesing for you to come back," he says, and Jeff shrugs and hums.

"Only reason to leave this place ever, if you're asking me," he says and winks at Jared. "I'm gonna have to think about it."

"Which means you definitely will get another one," Jensen points out. 

Jeff shrugs and grins.

"Yeah, probably," he says and then rolls his shoulders, biting back a yawn. "What are you crazy kids getting up to tonight? Any exciting plans?"

"Oh, haven't you heard about all the parties that are happening tonight?" Jensen snarks, and Jared grins a little.

"I think I'm just gonna crash," he admits.

Jensen nods. "Yeah. Same," he says. "What about you? I'm guessing since you're asking, you have something to tell us?"

"Nah, nothing exciting. Hilarie asked if I wanted to hang out, have a drink. Misha distilled some kind of moonshine concoction," Jeff says.

"Hmm, yeah, nothing exciting," Jensen repeats sarcastically. "She's not gonna wait for you forever, old man."

Jeff gives Jensen a serene look. "Oh, giving me advice on my love life, huh?" he asks. "Have you listened to what I told you then?"

"As a matter of fact, I have," Jensen replies a little smugly, and shoots Jared a look. Jared seems to catch on that it's about him and shifts, flushing. "And on that note, I think we'll be going."

"Yeah," Jared agrees, but he doesn't seem unhappy. More pleased, if a little embarrassed, and Jensen bumps their shoulders together.

*

Back in his cabin, lying in bed together, Jared curls up close to him and rests his head on Jensen's shoulder. It's still early enough that the sun hasn't completely set yet and even with the curtains blocking out most of the light the room is still a murky gray.

Taking trips to town always leaves Jensen a bit exhausted. He's gotten so used to the camp, to interacting with the same, small number of people and no one else, that being out there again feels draining.

Now, curled up with Jared, he feels the last of the day's tension finally leave his body.

"Thanks for today," Jared mumbles, brushing a kiss over Jensen's naked collarbone. They're both shirtless tonight; it's been sunny all day and the air in the cabin is a little stuffy, just this side of too warm.

"It was nothing," Jensen says.

"No, it really was," Jared replies. "I know it's just a small thing, getting a tattoo, but it feels big. Just getting it covered up makes me feel freer. It's hard explain."

"No, yeah, I think I get what you mean," Jensen replies. He feels Jared tip his head up, his lips brushing over Jensen's jaw. Jensen shifts, so he can duck down, meet Jared's mouth in a kiss. It's chaste at first, but when Jared kisses him back without hesitation, presses his body even closer, Jensen cups his face with one hand and deepens the kiss. 

They haven't done much more than this yet, but Jensen is happy just to be close to Jared, just to get to kiss and touch him. It's never been like that with anyone and that alone is enough for Jensen to know how serious his feelings for Jared are.

Later, with both of them on the verge of falling asleep, Jensen curves his hand loosely around Jared's forearm, blindly tracing his thumb over Jared's new tattoo. 

It's too soon, but Jensen can't help but think that he loves him. Entirely. Completely.

*

Jensen slips a pocket knife into his jeans when someone clears his throat behind him, and he turns to find Matt standing just a few feet away, looking a little uncomfortable. 

"Hey, Jensen," he says.

"Hey," Jensen replies and gives him a smile that's a little strained. "What's up?"

"Well, uh, I was wondering if we could talk," Matt starts. "About us."

 _Us_ , Jensen thinks and the word makes his stomach drop unpleasantly. There is no _them_ , not as far as he is concerned, and Jensen has never been really good at these kind of things. He shifts. "Matt," he starts. "Look, you're a great guy—"

Matt's snort interrupts him. "Shit, really?" he asks. "That's the speech I'm getting?"

"What speech?" Jensen asks. He keeps his voice low, not wanting to attract any attention. He knows that wherever Matt is going with this, it's a conversation he doesn't want everyone to hear—both for his and for Matt's sake. But they're out in the open, near the gates, where Jensen was getting ready to head off and check on the traps outside of camp.

"The 'it's me, not you' speech," Matt says. "Jensen, this thing between us, it's been going on for so long. It's not _nothing_. And I know that right now... right now you're a little distracted, but I really think we've got something here. Come on, don't just throw it away."

"We were hooking up, Matt. I'm sorry if we weren't on the same page," Jensen starts, giving Matt an imploring stare, hoping for him to finally listen. To finally believe Jensen. "But that's it."

"So, it's true, huh?" Matt asks, shaking his head. "You and the kid?"

"What?" Jensen asks.

"You and him, you've got something going on," Matt elaborates. "And that's why you don't want me anymore."

"His name is Jared. And he's not a kid," Jensen says, not bothering to pretend he doesn't know who Matt is talking about. 

"Right," Matt says. " _Jared_."

"Don't do that," Jensen says. "We had fun together and you're a great guy, but I never lied to you about how I felt."

"I thought with time it'd turn into something more," Matt admits, bitterly. "We're great together, Jensen."

"As friends," Jensen stresses.

"Friends," Matt repeats. "Yeah. Right. Awesome."

"Matt, I'm sorry," Jensen says and sighs, looking around and feeling relieved when nobody seems to be paying much attention to them. "I never wanted to lead you on. I thought we both knew what this was and if I ever led you to believe otherwise, then I'm really sorry. But I just don't feel that way about you."

He sees the moment Matt gets it, the moment he shuts down. He gives a curt nod, jaw clenched. "Yeah, well. Fuck you, Jensen," he says and turns, not giving Jensen a chance to say anything else.

Jensen watches him leave helplessly. He wants to go after Matt, to fix this, but he knows right now he can't. Knows that right now Matt is hurt and disappointed and Jensen can't do anything but give him space. 

Grabbing the rest of the things he needs—a skin of water and a larger knife—he heads for the gates when he sees Jared hovering nearby. Their eyes meet and Jared shoots him a small smile before approaching hesitantly.

"Bad timing?" he asks.

"No, it's fine," Jensen says, but he knows he sounds a little tense.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. What's up, babe?" Jensen asks, softening his tone.

"Well, I was just wondering... you're heading off to check the traps around camp, right?" Jared asks.

"Yeah."

Jared nods. "I wanted to ask if I could come."

"Are you sure?" Jensen asks. "I don't go too far away from camp, but, you know, we'd still be out there."

"I managed a trip to town without completely freaking out," Jared says, but then his smile falters a little. "Unless you prefer doing this on your own?"

"Of course not," Jensen says and nods his head towards the gate just a few feet ahead of them. "I'd love for you come."

Jared lets out a breath, like he was nervous about asking, and nods. "Great," he says.

*

Jensen can tell Jared is a little nervous as they make their way through the woods surrounding the camp at first. For Jensen, this place has always given him peace. As soon as he steps through the gates, it always hits him that they're in the middle of nowhere, that there's nothing but trees and meadows and streams around them.

He loves the earthy smell of the forest, the way the wind rustles through the leaves, the sound of birds chirping. As small as their camp is, it's still lively, the normal hustle and bustle making it easy to forget how isolated they are up here. 

He reaches for Jared and lazily tangles their fingers together.

"There's nobody here but us, sweetheart," he reminds Jared quietly. "We monitor the area around the camp. It's absolutely safe here."

"Yeah. I know," Jared says, though he doesn't sound fully convinced. Then he sighs softly.

"Jared, what's up?" Jensen asks.

There's a moment of silence, twigs snapping under their steps as they move further into the forest. 

"I saw you and Matt talk," Jared finally says.

"Hmm, yeah. What about it?"

"Someone said you and he," Jared stops and waves his hand around weakly. "You know."

"Jared," Jensen starts and stills, Jared coming to a halt, too. Jensen waits until their eyes meet before he continues, "I wouldn't have started anything with you if I was seeing someone else. I'm not that kinda guy."

Jared shrugs, looking down at the ground for a moment. "Some people have open relationships. And you never said you weren't seeing anyone else. It'd be cool. Fine," he says, but his voice betrays him. 

"Why would you say that when that's clearly not how you feel?" Jensen asks, keeping the words gentle, curious rather than demanding.

Jared lifts his head then, licks his lower lip and shrugs. "You make me feel good. Safe. I can share if I have to."

"Well, you don't," Jensen says. "Okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Jared says quietly. "So, Matt."

Jensen heaves a sigh and then nods. "We hooked up for a while. We stopped, but there, uh, was a drunken night recently, which shouldn't have happened," he admits. "He always knew I wasn't interested in something more than a casual arrangement with him. I was always honest with him about that."

"But he likes you."

"Does it matter?" Jensen asks.

Jared shrugs. "Does he?" he prods.

"Yeah, I guess he does. He got his hopes up that we could be more," Jensen says. "But I don't feel the same way he does and I told him that more than once."

Jared nods, still not looking happy, and Jensen hates that this is even an issue. It shouldn't be. He doubts Jared is begrudging him his past, but he understands why the whole thing would make Jared hesitate. And he wishes he hadn't been so stupid to get drunk and hook up with Matt when he was already in love with Jared. Things would have been weird with Matt regardless, but he knows the night was a mistake, that it gave Matt hope again.

"I don't want there to be any problems because of me," Jared says.

"Jared, you're not the problem. Even if you weren't around, I still wouldn't want him. I can't stay single for the rest of my life just to spare his feelings," Jensen presses. "The reason Matt and I would never work has nothing to do with you."

"But you'd still be hooking up."

"No, sweetheart; we stopped before you got here. It's not on you," Jensen says. "He's known that I don't return his feelings for a while now. I think he was just hoping I would change my mind and he's maybe now realizing I won't." 

"Okay," Jared says and lets out a breath. "What about me? Do you want something more serious with me?"

Jensen gives a small smile. "How come I'm a lot older, but you're the one taking all the first steps in this relationship?" he asks.

Jared shrugs.

Jensen steps closer, nudges Jared and lifts his head up to brush their mouths together. "I'm absolutely serious about you," he says when they pull apart.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Jensen repeats and smiles. "Now, are you ready to check the traps?"

"I'm not touching any dead animals," Jared warns, and Jensen tips his head back and lets out a small laugh.

"Deal," he agrees.

*

Jensen wakes up to Jared shifting restlessly, jostling him a little. 

"Jared?" he mumbles sleepily.

"Sorry, go back to sleep," Jared says, his tone hushed.

Jensen yawns and curls his arm around Jared's waist, rubbing the small of his back as he shifts their bodies closer together. "Bad dreams?" he asks.

"No. Just too warm in here."

Jensen hums and leans in, letting his nose brush against Jared's neck. His skin is a little damp with sweat, and Jensen resists the urge to stick his tongue out and lick it. "Want me to crack open a window?" he asks, the words muffled into Jared's skin.

"No. No, this is fine. Just sleep," Jared says. 

Jensen blinks, more awake. "Sweetheart, we don't have to share a bed if it's too hot," he says and tips his head back, even though they can't see each other in the dark.

"I like sharing a bed," Jared admits, his hand curling around Jensen's hip, gripping as if he's worried Jensen will pull away or leave. "I feel better when you're close."

Jensen makes a small, pleased sound and leans in, kisses Jared softly. "If you're sure."

"Yeah."

"Okay, anything else I can do to help you sleep? Warm milk with honey always helped when I was younger," he says.

"I know I've said it before, but I'm not actually a kid," Jared points out, a little amused, and Jensen grins into the darkness.

"Oh, I'd noticed," Jensen says, rubbing Jared's back. He shifts, his mouth finding Jared's in the darkness again. The kiss lingers this time, lips brushing together, tongues sneaking out and sliding together almost lazily. 

Jared is the first one to draw away, just enough to put a bit of distance between them. "I don't wanna keep you up," he murmurs.

"Well, too late. I'm wide awake," Jensen drawls.

"Jensen," Jared laughs a little.

"Hmm?"

Jared doesn't reply, just tugs Jensen closer and kisses him again. It's a little off-kilter at first, but then Jensen shifts, their lips slotting together. It starts out slow, but the kiss heats up quickly, their hands sliding over each other's backs, legs becoming intertwined under the thin layer of sheets.

It's when Jared starts rocking against him, subtly at first, and then more obviously, both of them half-hard, their cocks sliding together through the layers of their boxer-briefs, that Jensen reluctantly pulls away.

"Jared," he murmurs. 

"Don't stop," Jared replies, his voice a little breathless, a little hoarse. Jensen feels heat settle his stomach, his cock fattening up.

"Baby," he says. "Are you sure?"

"Don't stop," Jared repeats, words more mumbled, before he kisses Jensen again. 

Jensen groans into it, sliding his hand around Jared and settling it on the small of Jared's back, drawing him tightly against himself. He kisses Jared more deeply, with more intent, and slowly rolls his hips against Jared's. He pays close attention to Jared's reactions at first, waiting for a moment of hesitation, but Jared kisses him back eagerly, grinds right back against him, and makes these little, needy sounds into Jensen's mouth that drive him crazy.

They make out until they're both breathless and panting, Jensen's underwear sticking to the head of his cock, soaked with pre-come.

"Jared," he murmurs, his whole body feeling tight with pleasure already. "Tell me. Tell me what you want, sweetheart."

Jared is quiet for a short moment, fingers digging into Jensen's side, but then he pushes against him and lets out the smallest whimper. 

"Jared," Jensen prods.

"Fuck me," Jared replies, sounding both shy and firm, and Jensen lets out a hissed breath.

"Yeah. Fuck yeah," he agrees. Brushing their lips together, smiling into it when Jared parts his lips under his easily, Jensen slowly lets his hand trail lower, his fingertips brushing over the waistband of Jared's underwear. When Jared doesn't jerk away, doesn't flinch, he pushes just past the elastic, fingers trailing over hot, smooth skin. 

Jared makes a quiet, sweet noise at the touch and arches his back, pushing back into Jensen's touch. Jensen slides his hand further down the back of Jared's boxer-briefs, curves it over the swell of Jared's ass, and just the fact that he's touching Jared is making his heart speed up, his stomach flip.

Jared pulls away with a groan, resting his forehead against Jensen's and breathing harshly. "Please," he pants.

"Are you really sure?" Jensen murmurs, and everything inside of him is hoping Jared will say yes, because he wants him so much. Wants so much.

Jared gives a slow, breathless laugh. "I've been thinking about this for a while," he confides. "Just—it's been a while, so..."

"Slow," Jensen finishes the thought for him and kisses Jared sweetly, almost chastely. He reaches over, past Jared, for the bedside drawer. He doesn't touch it, but the drawer slides open with a soft squeak and he blindly pulls out the lube he keeps there.

He ducks his head down, trailing kisses down Jared's neck to his collarbone, smiling at the way it's making Jared breath a little faster. He flips the bottle open behind Jared's back and shifts to move lower, when Jared tugs him back to him.

"Don't," he groans.

"Sweetheart? You want me to stop?" he asks, stilling instantly.

"Fuck no. But if you put your mouth anywhere near my cock, I'm gonna come," Jared mumbles, and Jensen laughs softly. 

He crushes their lips together in a hard kiss, mumbles, "Okay."

He makes a bit of a mess, squeezing lube onto his fingers, and Jared laughs when he curses and draws back. 

"Let me," Jared says, and squirms, sliding his underwear off and tossing it aside. "Okay, better."

"Yeah," Jensen agrees, even though he can't see a damn thing. Jared scoots closer, nuzzles his nose against Jensen's jaw and nips at it. 

"Want you inside of me, Jensen," he says, and his tone is more honest than sexy, but it still turns Jensen on more than he wants to admit. He nods, blindly kisses Jared, and slides his now slick fingers over Jared's ass. It's sticky and messy, but Jared moans and lifts a leg up over Jensen's when Jensen slips a finger between his cheeks. 

He slowly slides it down, pressing against Jared's hole, and swallows Jared's next moan with a kiss. He rubs over Jared's entrance, gives him time to relax, to adjust, before pushing the first finger in slowly. Jared is tight and hot, clenching around him, soft needy noises spilling from Jared's mouth right into Jensen's.

Jensen takes his time. Opens Jared up with careful fingers and soft touches, too much lube making it slippery, and their kisses are a little sloppy now. Jared rocks back onto his fingers eagerly, hand clenching on Jensen's waist with each twist, each slow slide in. Jensen marvels at how responsive he is—how he eagerly pushes back, taking Jensen's fingers easily, how he gasps and moans and brokenly asks Jensen for "more", "there, right there", "please, Jensen".

"Turn onto your stomach," he instructs softly, his voice thick, when he feels like Jared is ready, three fingers sliding in and out easily, their bodies grinding together and kisses getting progressively dirtier, needier.

Jared presses an uncoordinated kiss to his lips, his chin, before he rolls over. 

"Can I turn the lights on, baby?" Jensen asks.

He hears Jared suck in a breath and then he murmurs a low, "Yeah. _Yeah_."

Jensen uses his powers to switch the bedside light on and the view that greets him almost makes him lose his breath. Jared is pushing himself up onto his hands and knees, sheets pooling around his knees as he does so. His skin is flushed, damp with sweat, and he buries his face down into the pillow. Jensen wishes he could take pictures of this, immortalize the sight of Jared like this forever. It's the hottest and yet most beautiful thing he's ever seen: the eager flush of Jared's body, the tight, perky ass up in the air, the long lines of Jared's body, his skin smooth and gleaming. Like an offering. And it's all for Jensen.

Jensen licks his lips and slides up behind him, sliding a hand down Jared's back. He leans over him, kisses his nape, then further down his back. "You're so fucking hot, babe," he murmurs, and sits back. He grabs the lube, slicks himself up deliberately, and then shifts into position. Heat pooling in his stomach, he slides his dick between Jared's cheeks, pressing forward until he feels it catch against Jared's rim.

"Jensen," Jared gasps, arching his back further, and Jensen palms his hip with one hand while using the other one to guide himself forward and start to press in. There's a moment of pressure, Jared making a choked off sound, before Jensen feels his hole give, the head of his cock sliding in.

Tight, slick heat grips around him, and Jensen bites down onto his bottom lip. He waits for Jared to adjust, listening to his harsh breathing, feeling the muscles flutter around him as they get used to the sensation. 

When he starts moving again, slowly pushing in deeper, inch by inch, Jared lets out a drawn-out moan. Jensen circles his hips, pulls out just so only to sink back in a little deeper.

"Fuck," Jared grunts when Jensen bottoms out, and he stills.

"Too much?" he asks, both hands on Jared's hips now, squeezing. If Jared asked him to, he would stop, would pull out, but he wants to be like this forever, buried deep in that perfect heat, deep inside Jared, because nothing, nobody, has ever felt this amazing.

Jared shakes his head, almost wildly, and then shifts back, moaning again. "No. No, please. Jensen, please fuck me," he groans. "'m good."

Jensen bites down on his bottom lip so hard, he thinks he might be drawing blood, but the flash of pain distracts him from the pleasure that is almost too much as he pulls back slowly and thrusts back in. They both moan at that, and when Jensen repeats the motion, Jared pushes right back against him this time. 

Jensen tries to take it slow, knows it'll be over faster than he wants it to be if he doesn't. Jared feels amazing around him, pleasure coiling tight in his belly, as he rocks into him. He leans over Jared, presses sloppy kisses to his neck.

"So good for me, baby," he murmurs. "So fucking amazing."

"Jensen," Jared groans and twists his head back, trying to kiss Jensen, and Jensen leans into it, while grinding his hips into Jared, burying himself deep and for a delirious moment, he thinks this is where he wants to be forever. That nothing has ever felt this fucking good, this damn right.

Digging his fingers into Jared's flesh, he thrusts in, pants against Jared's mouth, his cheeks, reveling in the way Jared answers with soft moans and gasps, their bodies moving together as if they've done this countless times before.

Jared comes with a cry, body tensing and going tight around Jensen, and Jensen buries his face in Jared's neck, biting and kissing at the flesh there as the waves of pleasure build, crashing over him as he spills deep inside of Jared with a soft grunt.

*

Sweaty, still breathless, Jensen holds Jared against him. He tangles his fingers in sweaty, messy hair, pressing kisses to Jared's neck, his jaw, his cheek. 

"You're fucking amazing," he murmurs, and Jared tightens his own hold on him. 

When Jensen finally tries to untangle, his heartbeat almost back to normal, drying sweat making his skin feel too tight and itchy, Jared shakes his head.

"Stay," he mumbles.

"I was just getting something to clean up," he says softly, soothingly.

"Stay," Jared repeats, and Jensen's lips tug up. He pulls Jared closer, kisses the curve of his cheekbone.

"Okay," he agrees.

*

They wake up in a tangle of limbs the next morning, and Jensen makes a face because they're both dirty and a little gross, but at the same time he feels a satisfaction, a calmness deep inside his bones.

Jared smiles at him sleepily, rubbing a foot against Jensen's calf. 

"Hey," he says.

Jensen hums, the happy, almost carefree look on Jared's face making his stomach flip, and leans in to kiss Jared, morning breath and all.

They take their sweet time getting up, staying in bed just a little longer to kiss and let their hands wander over naked, warm skin.

They untangle when Jared's stomach rumbles loudly, and Jensen draws back with a laugh.

"Guess you need some sustenance, huh?" he asks, and Jared makes a displeased face.

"I guess," he agrees and then rolls onto his back with a sigh. "I need a shower first. And some clean clothes."

Jensen leans in, brushing his nose against Jared's jaw before kissing the same spot. "Wanna meet up for breakfast in, say, thirty minutes?" he asks.

"Hmm, yeah, okay," Jared agrees, but makes no move to get up. Jensen steals another kiss before rolling out of bed. He claps his hands together.

"Come on, up and at 'em, baby," he says, and Jared heaves a sigh before following him.

Jared pulls on his clothes from the previous day before heading towards his cabin. They meet up again at the bathroom facilities, both of them smiling at each other and ducking their heads before stepping into separate stalls.

The communal bathrooms never really bothered Jensen all that much before, but now he wishes the cabins came with their own bathrooms, just so he could shower with Jared. He allows himself to think about it for a few moments, Jared all wet and warm, hair slicked back, before he pushes those thoughts away.

By the time they finally make it towards the dining hall, the camp is already bustling with activity and the dining hall is mostly empty.

Danneel is still there, her breakfast looking mostly untouched, lost in a book she's reading. She looks up and smiles when Jared and Jensen slide into the booth across from her.

"You're later than usual," she notes, smirking a little.

"Hmm, it happens," Jensen says casually.

Danneel hums. "You guys do know we all know already, right?" she asks. "You can make it official."

Jensen meets Jared's eyes, giving him a questioning look, and Jared shrugs, lips curled up into a smile.

"Fine. It's official," Jensen tells Danneel. "Happy?"

"I don't know. Will it make you less grumpy now that you've got a boyfriend?" Danneel replies, and Jared snorts.

Jensen knocks his elbow against Jared's. "Who's side are you on?"

"Yours," Jared says and then shrugs. "Mostly."

Danneel chuckles. "Oh, this is going to be great," she says and winks at Jared.

*

A heat wave hits them the next week, late summer peaking once more with sweltering heat. 

There's a tree that's starting to tilt, putting too much weight on the wall and despite the heat Jensen has to admit that they shouldn't wait much longer to cut it down. It's something they've already been drawing out for too long, so Tom, Alona and he set out to cut it down.

Jensen could use his powers to help things along more quickly, but the roots of the tree are big, going past the wall and into the camp, and Jensen doesn't want to accidentally rip the wall right down along with it. 

By the time they're finally done, Jensen is sweaty and a little dirty, body aching from all the lifting and chopping. Deciding he could use a bath, he grabs a spare change of clothes and goes to find Jared. 

He passes Alex's cabin, two down from his, where Alex and Gil are hanging out on the porch. There's a cool breeze swirling around the cabin—Alex's doing—and both of them look cool and relaxed as they play a game of cards. Jensen would join them, just to feel the wind on his heated skin for a while, if he didn't have better plans already.

"You know where Jared is?" he asks.

"I saw him head for his cabin a couple of hours ago, but I haven't seen him since," Alex tells him and Jensen nods in thanks.

Jared is indeed in his cabin, the windows cracked open though it does little to cool their air inside down. He's sitting at his desk with an open book. His hair is pulled back into a small bun, a few strands having slipped loose, curling slightly in the damp heat of the room and if Jensen wasn't feeling so damn hot and uncomfortable, he thinks he'd drag Jared right into bed. 

He drops his clothes onto an empty chair and then goes to stand behind him. He hugs Jared from behind, leaning down to kiss the side of his face. Jared is a little tense and Jensen rubs his hands over his shoulders.

"What are you reading?" he asks.

"Just some stuff about the mutation gene," Jared says. "Figured I should know more about that stuff now that I'm, you know, kinda one of you."

Jensen peers down at the book, the diagram on the bottom right corner looking kind of familiar. "You understand that stuff?" he asks.

"Just because I was in the system doesn't mean I'm stupid. I did graduate high school," Jared snaps, body going rigid.

"Hey. Hey," Jensen soothes. "I didn't mean it like that. I'm just asking because all the scientific stuff always went way above my head."

Jared deflates, shoulders slumping down under Jensen's hands. "Sorry," he mumbles and rubs a hand over his face.

"'s okay," Jensen says and rubs a hand over Jared's shoulder, the muscles feeling tight under his palm. "How about you take a break, huh? I was thinking you and I could go for a swim, cool off a little."

Jared sighs and leans back for a moment, his weight resting against Jensen. "Yeah, okay," he finally agrees.

*

There's a small river that passes behind camp, deep enough to swim in, but calm enough that it's not dangerous. Jensen leads them through the forest, heading a bit further down the river to where it curves around a formation of rocks on one side, a patch of grass on the other. 

It's a good twenty minute walk there and by the time they make it to the shore, they're both looking a little worse for wear, damp clothes sticking to their skin with sweat. The river is gurgling peacefully, the dark blue surface rippling and gleaming in the sunlight.

Jensen wastes no time stripping out of his clothes, not stopping until he's completely naked.

"What if someone else comes here?" Jared asks. He's taken off his shirt and pants, but he's still wearing his boxer-briefs, eyes a little wide.

Jensen grins. "Nobody ever comes here. There's a nice place to swim further up the stream, closer to the camp, where everyone always goes," he says and then softens his smile a little. "I promise."

"Are you sure?" Jared mumbles, but his hands drop down to the waistband of his underwear before Jensen even answers.

"Positive," Jensen confirms. Jared gives a little sigh and strips off the remaining article of clothing.

Jensen takes a moment to admire him; working outside has given Jared a tan over the last few weeks and he's been working out, filling out in all the right places. His shoulders are broader, arms thicker, tapering down into a slim waist and endless legs, and Jensen feels himself starting to chub up just from looking at him now. 

Jared blushes when he notices Jensen openly staring at him, looking embarrassed as if Jensen hasn't seen him naked more than once in the past few weeks.

"Stop gawking," he mutters, and Jensen tears his eyes away with a grin.

"Sorry. You're kinda nice to look at, babe," he teases and winks at Jared before turning to the water.

He heads for the river, Jared following behind him and when Jensen glances back, Jared's eyes are on him, checking him out as well.

Jensen huffs out an amused laugh but doesn't say anything. He lets out a hiss when he steps into the water, the coldness making him shiver. It feels amazing on his overheated skin and Jensen doesn't stop, heading further into the water step by step, the rocks slippery under his feet. They make it out to where the water is the deepest, reaching up to their chests, and Jared ducks his head under water, getting it wet. 

"God, this is nice," he groans.

Jensen drops down, swims closer until he's right in front of Jared. He slides his arms around Jared's neck and kisses him, feels Jared's body against his, warm in contrast to the cool water. 

"You're so gorgeous, baby," he murmurs. "Drive me fucking crazy."

"Shut up."

"I really mean it," Jensen says. "And I really like your hair up in a bun." 

"It was just too hot," Jared mumbles.

Jensen smooths some wet strands back, grinning. "Should do it up more often," he says. "Maybe let it grow out more. Just put the top half up in a bun. Fuck, you'd look amazing."

"Okay, stop fantasizing about me," Jared snarks, but he's smiling, looking a little flushed.

"I can't," Jensen teases and kisses Jared again. He slides their lips together, damp with water, and rubs a thumb up and down the side of Jared's neck lazily.

When he pulls back, Jared's looking a little dazed, cheeks a deeper shade of pink, and Jensen can feel that he's just as hard as he is. Instead of taking things further, Jensen pushes back and flips over, putting some distance between them with a few strong strokes.

"Come on," he calls out over his shoulder and then ducks under water, swimming until his lungs start to burn and make him push back up to the surface again.

*

They stay in the water for a while, until Jensen is actually starting to feel a little too cold. Back at the shore, they dry off with the towels they brought and while Jensen spreads his out on the ground when he's done, sitting down without bothering to put any clothes on, Jared ties his towel around his waist before joining him, pulling his legs up against his chest.

"You're asking for someone to come find us and see you like that," he says.

Jensen shrugs and tips his head back for a moment, letting the sun shine right into his face. "We have communal showers. I'm pretty sure all of us have accidentally caught glances of each other."

"Accidental and glances being the key words," Jared says. "You're just letting it all hang out right now."

Jensen licks his lips and grins. "You mind?"

"No," Jared admits.

"But I can't talk you out of your towel, huh?"

"No," Jared repeats, softer, and sighs, staring out at the river. He's looking thoughtful, some of the earlier tension returning.

"Sweetheart, is everything okay?" Jensen asks. "You seem a bit off today."

He leans into Jared's side and kisses his shoulder, lets a hand trail down his back.

"Is it just because I'm new?" Jared asks, his tone weird, distant almost.

"What?" Jensen asks, confused and not sure what Jared is talking about.

"This," Jared says, gesturing at them and not meeting Jensen's eyes. "Is it because I'm different and new around here and that makes me, I don't know, _exciting_?"

"Where is this coming from?"

Jared shrugs.

"Why would you think that, Jared?"

"I don't know," Jared says. "It wouldn't be a surprise, right? People get like that—like, with new shiny toys. Except I'm not really shiny. 'm kinda broken."

"Are those your words or someone else's?" Jensen asks, and Jared's silence is all Jensen needs to know. He guesses it was Matt; he's been snappy and distant, clearly not happy with Jensen's relationship with Jared. Jensen had hoped it would go away on its own, that Matt would move on, and not try to cause any problems. 

He shifts closer, curls his arm around Jared's hips. "Sweetheart, whoever said something—and I have a few guesses—doesn't know shit about us and about how I feel about you. This isn't a phase and you're certainly _not_ a toy."

"It was a comparison," Jared mumbles.

"Well, it was a crappy one," Jensen says and Jared cracks a small smile.

"Yeah, I kinda thought so too."

"Jared. I like you and I care about you a great deal. It has nothing to do with what happened to you. If I could, I'd make all that go away and I'd still like you just as much," Jensen says gently. "It's just you. And that's not gonna change."

Jared heaves a sigh and rests his cheek on his raised knees, looking at Jensen. "Whatever they injected me with, Jen, what happens if that wears off?"

The change of topic is so sudden, random, that it throws Jensen off for a moment and he frowns. "What do you mean?"

"Right now, I'm _kinda_ one of you. And even now not everyone thinks I am, because I might feel like a mutant but I don't really have powers. I'm already the odd one out," Jared says, his voice low, like he's sharing a secret. "But what if it was temporary to begin with? If I would have needed to have something injected regularly because it's not a permanent change?"

"Then what, sweetheart?" Jensen shoots back.

"It's a camp for mutants," Jared says. "And if I'm not one..."

"Then we'll kick you out?" Jensen concludes. "Sweetheart, you belong here. You always will. We're not just here because we all have a mutated gene. We're family. And you're part of that family now."

"You know not everyone would agree with that," Jared repeats, biting down on his bottom lip. It's something he does when he's nervous, and Jensen allows himself to touch the corner of his mouth for a second, swipe a thumb over it, before trailing his fingers over Jared's cheek. He tucks a few loose, wet strands of hair behind Jared's ear.

"Yeah, maybe not," Jensen admits. "But most of us do. And as far as I'm concerned, I'm the one with the final say around here."

"That could change."

"Well, if it came to that, I'm going wherever you're going; I promise," Jensen says. "And I know there are a few people who would go where I'm going, so there's that."

"Yeah?" Jared asks, his voice a little thick, eyes looking suspiciously wet.

"Yeah," Jensen says and pulls Jared against him, kissing the top of his head. "How long has this been on your mind, sweetheart?"

"A while," Jared admits, turning to bury his face in the crook of Jensen's neck.

"Well, stop worrying about it. You're not going anywhere," Jensen murmurs. "Not without me."

*

In bed that night, side by side, Jared reads his book and Jensen reads up on the news on a tablet. 

"I didn't know you read the news," Jared says after a while. "I mean, a lot of the stuff doesn't really affect you, right?"

"I like to stay on top of things," Jensen says. "Plus, we might have our own rules here, but that doesn't mean that some of the stuff that happens out there won't impact us somehow."

"Makes sense," Jared says and shifts, leaning more into Jensen before returning his attention back to his book. Jensen watches him for a moment, before he looks back at the screen.

They both keep reading, silently. It feels domestic, and the thought makes Jensen smile.

*


	4. Chapter 4

"Jensen!"

Misha's slightly frantic tone makes Jensen almost lose the grip on the hammer he's holding.

He's been fixing up the roof of Danneel's cabin with Tahmoh, and he turns slowly, careful not to slip and fall down. Misha is walking up to the cabin with a fast pace, face a little pale, and Jensen's heart plummets. Misha is one of the most laid-back people he knows, rarely ever shaken by anything.

"What's wrong?" Jensen asks, carefully crossing the short distance to the ladder leaning against the roof and making his way down.

"Alona and Chris found someone while patrolling," Misha says when Jensen reaches the ground.

"Someone?" Jensen echoes and hopes the answer won't be what he fears it will be.

"Mutant. Like Jared."

It feels like the ground is being ripped right from underneath Jensen, but he tries not to let it show, tries to stay calm as he nods.

"Where are they?" he asks.

"Alona's cabin for now," Misha says.

"Okay. Let's go," Jensen says.

From the corner of his eye, he sees movement, Tahmoh starting to make his way down the ladder. "I'm coming," he says, and Jensen sends him a hard look, shaking his head.

"Stay here. I'll let everyone know what's going on as soon as I know more."

"Jensen," Tahmoh says.

"Keep fixing the cabin. It's supposed to rain tonight," Jensen says firmly.

*

There's a young woman sitting on Alona's bed, dirty and bruised, her knees drawn up against her chest. It reminds Jensen so much of Jared when he found him it makes his chest ache—both for her and for Jared.

"Hey," he says quietly. The woman and Alona both look up, and Alona steps forward.

"That's Katie. We found her a couple of miles from camp," she says quietly, and Jensen nods.

He moves over to the bed, slowly and carefully, trying to look as unthreatening as possible, and crouches down by the mattress.

"Hey, Katie. I'm Jensen," he says.

Katie doesn't reply, but she gives a small nod.

"It's okay. I know you're hurt, but you're safe now, okay?" he continues. "We can get you fixed up."

Again, Katie just nods mutely.

Jensen cranes his head back to meet Alona's eyes, and Alona gives him a strained smile.

"Did someone let Jeff know?" he asks.

"Yeah, he's on his way," Alona says.

"Good." Jensen nods and then turns again. "Jeff's a healer. He can help you, if you want him to."

Katie looks at him for a moment. "Yeah," she finally says, her voice quiet and a bit raspy.

"And maybe after that you can tell us what happened, if you want," Jensen adds.

Katie glances around, then nods her head. "Okay," she agrees, her voice shaky.

*

Jensen watches as Jeff sits down with Katie. He tells her the same thing he told Jared the first night, asks her the same questions. Katie lets him brush her dirty blonde hair back, look at her neck, and Jeff gives Jensen a glance and a nod when he's done. Jensen knows what it means—there are pinpricks from a needle on Katie as well.

Jeff heals Katie and when he's done, Jensen pulls up a chair next to the bed and sits down. Katie feels different than Jared does, her energy steady like Jensen is used to from mutants. He knows it means that, more likely than not, the people who are doing this are making progress. 

Ty brings them some food and water, and then vanishes again without saying a word, his expression drawn. Katie drinks, swallows a few bites, but Jensen can tell her energy is fading quickly.

"Can you tell us what happened?" Jensen asks gently. "I know it's tough. But it's really important."

"Why?" Katie asks, a little suspicious.

Jensen licks his lips and decides honesty will be the best policy for now. "Because a few months ago, we found someone else outside camp. And I'm guessing his story is pretty similar to yours," he explains. "He was kidnapped, injected with something that changed him into a mutant and then they left him out in the woods to die. I'm guessing that happened to you, too?"

Katie looks away, but then she nods.

"Do you know anything, Katie? Who did this? Why?" Jensen asks. 

Katie shrugs, then shakes her head. "Not really. They didn't tell me anything," she says. "I was walking home from the gym one evening, and this van stopped and two guys got out and grabbed me. They gave me something, knocked me right out."

Jensen nods, not surprised that their M.O. was the same as it was with Jared.

"Do you know what they looked like? Do you know any names?"

Katie frowns. "No. They always covered themselves up and they didn't talk much."

"Do you know why they let you go?" Jeff asks.

Katie ducks her head and swallows thickly. "They... said I wasn't quite right. What they needed."

"Okay," Jensen says. "Well, how about you get some rest? We can talk more later."

"Okay," Katie says. "Hey... the guy. The one you found. Is he okay?"

"He's just fine," Jensen says.

Katie's shoulders drop. "Okay, yeah. That's good," she mumbles.

*

Tahmoh is leaning against the cabin opposite of Alona's, arms crossed, obviously waiting.

He straightens up when Jensen steps out. "Jensen. We need to fucking do something about this," he says.

"Like what?" Jensen asks, sounding as tired as he feels right now. 

"Make this known everywhere, Jensen. We have two _witnesses_ now, they have to believe us."

"Yeah. But who says they won't blame mutants? Won't say we're trying to change people?" Jensen retorts. "And if the government finds out and they see it as a threat, don't you think the first thing they'd want to do is silence everyone who knows about this? They'll come after us."

Tahmoh blanches a little, looking away. "So, what? We're just gonna do nothing?"

"We're doing what we can," Jensen says. "But I gotta make sure we're safe. All of us."

The answer doesn't seem to satisfy Tahmoh much, and Jensen can't even blame him. He doesn't know what to do right now. Tahmoh gives him a curt nod, face set.

Jensen rubs a hand over his face. "Get everyone together," he decides. "We're meeting up in the main cabin in half an hour, okay?"

Tahmoh nods, not looking pleased, but he turns and walks away, his gait a little stiff. A hand falls heavily onto Jensen's shoulder and he turns to find Jeff standing close behind you.

"Are you okay?" Jeff asks.

"Not really," Jensen admits. "I have no fucking idea what to do now, Jeff."

"Hey, maybe Katie knows something that'll help. We've barely talked to her yet," Jeff points out.

Jensen's shoulders slump and he sighs. "Yeah. I wanted to let her get some rest first before we interrogate her," he says. "She looked exhausted and I know how hard it was on Jared, so I thought it was better that way. The basic story seems to match Jared's anyway."

"How do you think he'll handle this?" Jeff asks quietly.

Jensen meets his eyes and then shrugs. "Honestly? I'm not so sure. He's been doing better, but this will probably bring a lot of things back for him," he says. 

Jeff slides his hand up to the back of Jensen's head and draws him against him for a short, one-sided hug. "We'll be okay," he murmurs. "I'll stall everyone a little. You go find your boy and make sure he's okay."

*

Jensen doesn't have to look for too long before he finds Jared, perched on the steps leading up to his own cabin. He looks pale, arms curled around himself, his expression somber.

"Is it true?" he asks as Jensen draws closer.

"Let's go to my cabin, sweetheart," Jensen suggests.

"Jensen?" Jared asks shakily. But he gets up, lets Jensen steer him up the porch and inside. Jensen leads them straight into the bedroom so they can sit somewhere comfortably, close enough that Jensen can hold Jared close, offer him physical comfort.

"So, you found someone else," Jared starts, not a question.

"Yeah. A young woman," Jensen says, keeping his voice calm and steady. "From what she's told us, she was in the same place you were. And she doesn't really know anything either, Jared. We're letting her rest before we talk to her some more."

Jared turns his head up, looking at Jensen through his bangs, his face looking young, scared. Jensen slips his arms around him, pulls him in against his side.

"I'll do what I can to keep you safe, baby," he murmurs. "I promise. I know it seems huge right now, but we really don't know more than we did before. Nothing's changed, okay?"

"But it will," Jared murmurs, turning his face into Jensen's neck. Jensen kisses the top of his head and doesn't deny it. Over the last few weeks, after the initial fear and worry that Jared's arrival brought with it had faded, things had started to feel almost normal.

The threat of someone changing people into mutants had started to feel like something far away. Something that wasn't imminent after all, didn't concern their lives as much as they had initially feared. And maybe Jensen had started to hope that, if push came to shove, these people, their lab would be far enough away that others would have to deal with it. That Jared landing almost on their doorstep was a fluke.

Katie proves that the lab can't be as far away as Jensen had hoped, that the danger is closer to them after all. That this is their business, their problem.

"I need to go talk to everyone. Let them know what's going on," Jensen says gently. "You wanna come?"

"I think I wanna stay here," Jared says. "I... I just need some time. Is that okay?"

"Of course it is," Jensen says. He tilts Jared's face up, draws him in for a soft kiss. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

Jared nods.

*

Looking into the faces of everyone, of the people that have been his family for the past twelve years, seeing the worry and fear etched into all of their faces, makes Jensen feel a decade older, drained and more hopeless than he has in a while.

He never imagined this was something he would have to do, and he feels both glad and guilty that he let Jeff, Misha and Sam do this last time. 

When Jensen first came to the camp, Julian had been running it. He'd been a cool, laid-back guy and he'd made it look effortless. Four years ago, Julian had decided he wanted to see more of the world, wanted to experience other camps, maybe be on his own for a while, and as a group they'd decided Jensen would take over for him. He hadn't accepted the job blindly, hadn't walked into it naively. He'd known it was a lot of work—but his tasks had never been anything like this, never this heavy. The camp runs pretty efficiently, and most of Jensen's tasks are centered around keeping the status quo—dividing up chores, keeping stock of the supplies, being the person everyone can come to with concerns or ideas. 

Not once had Jensen thought it would ever entail having to face the people he loves to discuss a situation this grave, this threatening. 

"What do we do now?" Misha asks after Jensen is done recapping what they know about Katie. His question sounds more resigned than anything.

"What _can_ we do?" Danneel replies.

"We need to find these people. We need to _stop_ them," Tahmoh says. 

"And how are you going to find them?" Chris asks, his tone sarcastic. 

"I don't know. Turn over every stone, search the whole damn state," Tahmoh replies, and a couple of people nod, murmur their agreements.

Jensen sighs. "We're thirty people. The only way we'd find them would be pure luck," he says. "Jared said they were driving for hours, that's way too much ground to cover. And what if we found them? What then?"

Tahmoh meets Jensen's eyes, lifts his chin. "What do you think, Jensen?"

"We don't know how many there are. We don't know if they're mutants," Jensen says. "Frankly, we don't know _anything_."

"Yeah, we need more information," Misha says. "Right now it's absolutely pointless trying to come up with a game plan. We're nowhere closer to a solution than we were a few weeks ago."

"So, we just keep waiting?" Alona asks. "Just keep on going on, doing what we always do?"

"Unless anyone has a better idea, yeah," Jensen says.

*

Jared is curled up on Jensen's bed. His eyes are puffy and red, his cheeks damp still, and his breathing sounds wet and painful, not quite sobs.

Jensen crawls onto the bed next to him wordlessly, drawing him into his arms.

"We're going to be okay," he murmurs against Jared's temple.

"You don't know that."

Jensen doesn't, and he can't bring himself to make a promise he might not be able to keep. So he doesn't reply, just holds on to Jared a little more tightly and hopes, at the very least, his presence offers Jared a little comfort.

*

Dinner that night is the quietest Jensen has ever experienced the dining hall. Conversations are hushed, but most people stay quiet, looking somber and lost in thought.

They keep shooting Jared furtive glances, but Jared keeps his head down. He barely eats anything, just pushes the food around his plate for a while, before excusing himself.

"Can I go back to your cabin?" he asks quietly, just before leaving.

Jensen gives him a nod, and brushes his lips over Jared's cheek. The sound of Jared pushing his chair back, scraping against the floor, sounds too loud in the almost silence of the room.

*

Jensen checks on Katie once before turning in for the night. Alona has set up a place for herself to sleep in her main room, pillows and sheets scattered on the ground.

"She's out like a light," she tells Jensen in a hushed voice.

Jensen nods. "We'll clean out the other cabin tomorrow, so she can have a place and you can have your cabin back," he says. "Will you be okay for the night?"

Alona nods. "She was exhausted; I doubt she'll wake up any time soon."

"Jared had a lot of nightmares. Still does, but not as much," Jensen says. "You come get me if you need anything, okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Jensen," Alona says, and Jensen pulls her into a quick hug.

"Night, Lo," he murmurs.

*

Jared is already in bed, his back leaning against the headboard and the bedside lamp turned on, and he looks a little surprised when Jensen comes in and starts getting undressed.

"Are you staying the night?"

"Where else would I be sleeping?" Jensen asks, tossing his jeans aside carelessly.

Jared pulls his knees against his chest. "I figured maybe you'd stay with Katie, like you did with me."

"Alona is with her and Danneel is in the cabin right next to her. They don't really need me right now," Jensen says. "Plus, someone has to take care of you."

"I'm fine," Jared mumbles. Jensen slides under the sheets next to him and waits until Jared scoots down, settles down next to him,

"You're not," he says and then sighs. "And maybe I wanna be close to you right now, too."

Jared shifts closer wordlessly, sliding into Jensen's arms and winding his own around Jensen's waist.

Without moving, Jensen turns the light off. 

He waits for sleep to come that night, but it takes hours. Jared is awake, too, restless, but neither of them speak and neither lets go of the other.

*

Katie seems to be adjusting faster than Jared did. She's a little quiet and hesitant at first, but Jensen is glad to see her outside the cabin they cleared out for her—the last spare one, and they'll have to start expanding soon—after just a few days, still looking a little pale but talking to people.

Jensen sits down with her on her second day at the camp and asks her all the questions they asked Jared, needles her for as many details as she seems willing to share. Whoever is behind this seems to be good at covering up their tracks, seems to know exactly what they're doing, because she doesn't know much Jared didn't. But she talks about her experience at a lab a bit more freely.

She's older than Jared, closer to Jensen's age, and seeing how she is handling things compared to Jared makes him realize just how damn young Jared really is, how hard this was for him. Katie seems to have an easier time settling in, at least to the point where she is able to interact with people.

"Can I ask you something about Jared? That's his name, right?" Katie asks when Jensen checks in on her on the fourth day.

"What about him?" Jensen asks. He leans against the porch railing.

"I don't think I've seen him yet, or talked to him," Katie says. "He's okay, right?"

Jensen heaves a sigh and then nods slowly. "Yeah, he's okay. It's just a lot for him to deal with."

"Oh, yeah, of course," Katie says. "It's just... I guess I'd really like to meet him. He understands what I've been through, you know? Nobody else does."

"I'll let him know," Jensen tells her. "He's... a bit shier than you are."

"Okay," Katie says and gives a soft laugh. "Everyone mentions him a lot, you know. You all seem to care about him."

"We do," Jensen agrees.

"Mmm. You..." she trails off and waves her hand, a smile on her face.

"Yeah. Me especially," Jensen confirms.

*

Jensen asks Jared about talking to Katie later that day, after Jared comes back from the vegetable garden. His hands are crusted with dirt, some of it smudged over his cheeks, and his hair is up in a bun. He looks like he could be in a campaign advocating life on a farm, or maybe an ad for the gardening section of a hardware store, tall and tan and gorgeous, all dirty after hours of labor in the sun.

Jensen has things he still needs to do, but he's tempted to just drag Jared to his cabin instead, spread him out on the bed and lick the dirt and sweat right of his body, taste every last inch of him. 

He shifts, trying to adjust himself and willing himself not to get hard out here in public. Everyone is keeping busy, so there aren't a lot of people hanging around outside the main cabin right now, but there are things Jensen would prefer to keep private. Anything concerning his and Jared's love life and how goddamn crazy the guy drives him being very high on that list.

"You don't have to talk to her," he adds.

Jared bites down on the corner of his lower lip and crosses his arms over his middle. "I don't know why it scares me so much," he says softly.

"Sweetheart, if it's not what you want, if you think it'll be too hard, it's fine," Jensen stresses. 

"No, maybe I should. I can't hide from this, even if I wish I could," Jared says with a sigh. "I'll go take a shower and then go talk to her. Maybe she's right—maybe it'll help, talking to someone who's been through the same thing."

"Okay," Jensen says. "You know where to find me if you wanna talk. Or want a hug. Or, you know, make out a little."

His tone is teasing, purposefully light, and it startles a little laugh out of Jared, who nods.

"Yeah, okay, horndog," he says, but he's smiling a little as he turns to leave. Jensen gives himself a few seconds to watch him go.

*

Jensen isn't sure why, but knowing Jared is talking to Katie is making him feel nervous.

Jared's been doing so well, and he worries that this will set him back. Undo all the progress he's been making since he first got here. Katie seems nice enough, but she doesn't know Jared, and though it's less obvious than it was with Jared, she must be just as fucked up by what happened as Jared was, still is. Jensen can't help but worry she'll say the wrong thing, bring up something that will inadvertently trigger Jared.

Trying to find something to do to distract himself from the thoughts in his head, the worries, Jensen heads for the tech room. The solar panels on the roof shine dully in the sunlight, and inside it's blessedly cool.

Rob is nowhere in sight, but Aldis is sitting in front of a big screen, typing away. 

"Jensen," he says, looking up with a smile before hitting a few keys, and then swiveling around in his chair. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Just checking in," Jensen says. "You don't happen to have any good news to share with me, do you?"

Aldis presses his lips together and shakes his head. "I've been looking at... well, anything, really. But without knowing what we're looking for, there's not much I can do," he says. "Rob and I have set up an alert for missing persons reports, added a few filters to rule as much out as we can, but man, the number of alerts we're getting is still insane."

Jensen drops down on an empty chair and groans. "This is a mess," he admits.

"Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later."

"Was it?"

Aldis shrugs. "People might be terrified of us, but come on, we knew sooner or later someone would try to use our powers in some shape or form. Some of us, we're an ultimate weapon," he says. "As much as I wish we could live our lives in our camps peacefully forever, that was just never realistic, was it?"

"No," Jensen agrees reluctantly, because he's starting to realize how naive it was of him to ever think otherwise now. "So, what are we gonna do? Just accept our fate?"

Aldis gives him a disbelieving look. "We're gonna fight until the end," he says. "It's what we've all done all of our lives, right? Our lives were never easy, Jensen—but none of us ever gave up without a fight."

*

"You seem pensive," Jensen notes, leaning back against the back of the bench on his porch. "How'd your talk with Katie go?"

Jared frowns, tilting his head back and staring up at the ceiling. "She makes me feel weird."

"What do you mean?" Jensen asks, tipping his head back as well. He turns towards Jared, leans in to kiss the curve of his shoulder.

"I don't know how to explain," Jared starts and turns to face him. "Is it bad if I don't like her?"

"No," Jensen says and smooths a finger over the frown lines on Jared's forehead. "Why don't you like her?"

"She just... makes me feel off. Or maybe she feels off," Jared says. "I guess... I guess she just dredges up all these memories I've been trying to forget. Her being here... it means things aren't over. Talking to her, it just made me feel so much worse. I hated it, Jensen."

"I'm sorry I talked you into it."

"You didn't. It was my choice," Jared says. "I just... I have this really bad feeling. Like something is about to go horribly wrong."

Jensen sighs and shifts closer, kisses Jared's temple. Jared leans into him, his cheek on Jensen's shoulder. "What do you need? What can I do?" Jensen murmurs.

"I think I just want to sit here a bit and then go to sleep," Jared admits. "With you."

*

Jensen is woken up by Jared crying out, an arm hitting him in the chest.

"Jared?" he mumbles, grunting a little with pain. He can hear Jared panting, little hurt sounds escaping him. 

Jensen turns on the light, blinking as he sits up. Jared is already upright, hunched over. His shoulders are trembling, the light-gray t-shirt he was wearing to bed mottled with patches of sweat.

"Jared. It's okay, sweetheart. You're okay," Jensen murmurs, and only when Jared gives a little nod does he dare to touch him.

He runs his hand up and down Jared's back slowly, his strokes broad, hoping to calm him down a little.

"You want some space?" Jensen asks.

"Water?" Jared rasps. 

Jensen slips out of bed and goes to pour Jared a glass. Jared takes it from him with shaking hands, almost spilling some of it over, as he brings it to his lips and takes a few sips. Jensen gets back into bed with him, watching Jared drink, one hand poised in case the glass slips.

Jared finishes most of the water and then hands it back to Jensen. "Thank you," he murmurs.

Jensen nods and puts the glass down on the bedside table. 

"Can you open the curtains?" Jared asks, voice small. "I feel too closed in."

Not wanting to get up again, to leave Jared's side if he doesn't have to, Jensen uses his powers to draw the curtains on the two big windows in the room aside. 

Lying back down, Jared shifting to press up close against him, they can see the moon through the window. It's almost full, and it's big and bright. 

"Want me to leave the light on?" Jensen asks, and feels Jared shake his head. He turns it off, giving Jared's waist a squeeze, and carefully runs his free hand through Jared's hair, fingers slowly untangling the messy waves.

He doesn't ask Jared if he wants to talk. He knows Jared will bring it up if he wants to, but more often than not Jared doesn't share much about the nightmares he has. It's usually the same one all over again, Jensen knows, so Jared doesn't have to say anything for Jensen to know what he dreamed about.

"Better?" he asks after a few moments, feeling Jared starting to go lax in his arms.

Jared nods. 

"Anything else you need?"

"Just you," Jared says. He slides one hand under the hem of Jensen's t-shirt, runs his palm up over Jensen's side, his ribs, to settle on his chest. His lips brush over Jensen's jaw.

"Jensen?" he murmurs into the skin just under Jensen's ear.

"Hmm?"

"Make me forget about it. Please," Jared says. He rocks against Jensen's hip and he's not hard, but Jensen feels the thick outline of his cock.

Jensen doesn't ask if he's sure, just shifts them around, positioning them so his mouth can find Jared's. If this is what Jared needs, Jensen is more than willing to give it to him.

He cups Jared's face with one hand, kisses him slow and steady, draws it out until Jared digs his fingers into his side, silently asking for more. Jensen pulls back with a soft sound and nudges Jared over onto his back.

"Like this?" he asks, sliding one hand down onto Jared's thigh and coaxing his legs apart, so he can slide between them, settle down on top of Jared.

"Yeah," Jared breathes. 

Jensen takes his mouth in another kiss, and then starts moving down. His hands map out Jared's body, sliding over his shirt and then underneath, as he starts trailing kisses down his neck.

He rucks Jared's shirt up as he scoots lower, kisses a pass down his sternum. Jared lets out a quiet moan when Jensen licks over his belly button, lets the tip of his tongue press in. He nips at the skin just underneath, then presses a kiss to the same spot, then lower. His chin brushes the waistband of Jared's underwear and he can feel Jared's cock there, slowly starting to fill.

He pushes back to help Jared take the boxer-briefs off, pushing the sheets down to the end of the bed as he goes. Jared splays his legs wider, lets him see, and Jensen curves his hands on each side of Jared's rib cage, drags them slowly down all the way to Jared's slim hips.

"You're so gorgeous," he murmurs.

"Jensen," Jared hisses. He shifts, lifts his hips, body silently asking for more, for anything. 

Jensen leans down, mouths over Jared's hips, kisses his thighs, first the right then the left. Jared moans, arches every time Jensen so much as accidentally brushes against his dick, and Jensen finally takes pity on him. 

He wraps one hand around him, gives him a slow, loose stroke, and then leans in to suckle on the top of Jared's half-hard cock. Jared cries out, hips shooting up, and Jensen presses them down into the mattress with his free hand. He opens his mouth around Jared a little wider, lets him slide inside an inch or two, and sucks. He can feel Jared fill out, harden in his mouth, and he hums in pleasure. 

Jared is thick and heavy, and Jensen likes the feel of him in his mouth, the slightly bitter taste of him. His own cock is hard by now, too, but he focuses on Jared. He pulls back up and then moves right back down, lets Jared slide in deeper and smiles around him when Jared spits out a wet "fuck". 

Teasingly, he sucks Jared to full hardness, head slowly bobbing up and down on him, feels pleasure coil more and more tightly in his belly with each moan and whimper he draws from Jared. And then he lets him slip from his mouth, lets go of him, and uses both of his hands to grab Jared's thighs and push his legs up and out. 

He shifts further down on the mattress. 

"Jensen," Jared grunts, hands falling onto Jensen's shoulder, grabbing him, and Jensen ducks his head down. He licks over Jared's taint, moves his tongue further back until it slides over Jared's hole. 

Jared groans.

Jensen does it again, adds a bit more pleasure. He doesn't push in right away, takes his time to get Jared wet with spit, the ring of muscles fluttering against his tongue when Jared shudders, hitches his hips up restlessly. 

Jensen nips at his hole, and the cry has barely passed Jared's lips, before he starts working the tip of his tongue inside.

"Oh, fuck. Fuck," Jared curses and his fingers press into Jensen's shoulders more firmly, pulling at him, and Jensen knows he wants him to go deeper. He slides his hands to the bottom of Jared's cheeks, holds him open with his thumbs and complies. His face buried between Jared's thighs, nose pressing between his cheeks, Jensen licks into him. He uses every trick he knows, thrusting in and wiggling his tongue inside of Jared, licking and pressing, until Jared is panting, keening. Until his body goes taut, and he comes with Jensen's name spilling from his mouth, just from Jensen's tongue inside of him.

His body is shaking, his breathing fast and wet, as Jensen draws back with small licks, kisses his thigh, his knee. 

Jensen grabs the lube from the nightstand, and Jared moans a quiet, "Oh yes," before covering his eyes with his arms.

Jared is already slick with his spit, body relaxed, and there's no resistance as Jensen slides the first finger in. 

"More," Jared demands right away, voice breaking. Jensen soothes a hand up and down his thigh, works his finger in and out a few times, before pressing against the rim with two fingers. He pushes in just past the first knuckle, and Jared rocks down on him, makes him slide in deeper.

Jensen's cock is almost painfully hard, his heart beating heavily in his chest with anticipation. He can still taste Jared in his mouth, his lips feeling bruised and hot, and every part of his body is yearning for him to just bury himself deep in Jared. He takes his time though, opens Jared up carefully. He ignores Jared's desperate pleas for more, for him to fuck him already, and makes sure Jared is as relaxed and loose as possible. 

Jared might be horny now, they both are, but pain isn't something Jared feels comfortable with when they have sex. Jensen knows there's always a bit of discomfort, knows the initial stretch burns, but Jensen has seen guys get turned on by that; Jared certainly isn't one of them. It might always have been that way, or it might be a result of what he's been through—Jensen never asked, but he tries his best to make it as easy, as enjoyable for Jared as he can. 

By the time Jensen pulls three fingers out, Jared is fully hard again, stroking himself lazily and looking up at Jensen with hooded eyes.

"Come on, Jen," he murmurs, even though Jensen is already reaching for the lube again. Jensen slicks himself up, and Jared hoists his legs over Jensen's shoulders. Jensen almost bends him in half as he leans down to kiss him, before starting to inch his hips forward, pressing into Jared.

He fucks Jared slowly. Kisses him over and over, muffling both of their moans and gasps until all there is is the squeaking of the bed and the slick slide of their bodies moving together. He makes sure Jared comes first, reaching down to squeeze the base of his cock every time he gets too close, the pleasure too intense, and his whole body trembles, feels like he's bursting apart, as he finally spills inside of Jared.

Exhausted, panting and shaking, he collapses on top of Jared, and Jared grips him tightly, holds him close, bodies tangled and fused together for just a few more moments.

*

Jensen drops the basket of runner beans he's just finished picking when he hears a scream. It's followed by another and then more, yelling. Jensen breaks out into a run, his heart beating when he sees the crowd gathering by the gates, someone crying.

He pushes past everyone, to the front, and freezes.

There are three guys there, one of them holding Colin against him, a gun to his head. And Katie.

She stands tall, grinning, and the air around them shimmers dome-like. Jensen doesn't have to try to use his powers, knows it's a shield just from the looks of it. He can't feel any energy coming from the other three, no traces of them being mutants as well.

"Aww, Jensen," Katie coos. "Didn't see that coming, did you?"

"Who the fuck are you?" Jensen spits. And he already knows. They didn't find another victim—they walked right into a trap and invited the enemy into their camp. A hand lands on his arm, Danneel's fingers digging into his skin.

"Oh, how rude of me. Let me introduce ourselves. Katie Cassidy, mutant," Katie says, giving a little curtsey. "And this is my husband, Dr. Mark Cassidy. And two of my husband's, well, let's call them bodyguards."

"You're the one changing people," Alona says. "We took you in. _I_ took you in and I took care of you. And you..."

"Yeah," Katie says and shrugs. "See, we have a little problem, because nobody was supposed to know. Jensen's little boytoy wasn't supposed to survive and tell people."

"How did you find us?" Jensen asks. It doesn't matter, not really, but it might buy them some time. Might give them a bit of a chance. He cuts a glance to Colin, who's shaking, tears running down his face.

"We saw Jared a few weeks ago in Oakridge," Katie says. "Imagine our surprise, seeing the kid walking around, alive, and with a group of mutants nonetheless. Wasn't too hard to figure out there had to be a camp around here and then I just had to make sure you guys would find me."

"Why the hell are you doing this?" Danneel asks, shaking her head, sounding more despaired than angry. 

"Hmm, because this? Is gonna make me rich and powerful. Being able to change people—it'll put us right at the top of the fucking food chain," Katie says. "And I'm sick of being at the bottom because I'm a mutant. I mean, aren't you guys?"

Jensen hears Danneel's exhale, and then she flings her arm out, a ball of fire shooting forward. It bounces right off Katie's shield and Jensen has just enough time to deflect. It hits the ground, singeing the grass, the burnt smell sharp in the air.

"Don't bother. It won't work. Nothing can get past this."

Mark, her husband, grins. "Don't worry, we'll make it quick," he says and Katie laughs. "Starting with this one."

He nods at Colin, and it's like a jolt goes through them all, some of them raising their hands, others stepping forward. But there's nothing they can do.

"No," Jensen calls out. "Come on, please. Let him go."

Colin is crying openly now, little sobs that wreck his body, and Jensen can hear some sniffles from behind him, too.

"Oh, fine. We can start with you, too, if you prefer," Mark says and points his gun at Jensen and Jensen throws his hands up automatically, feels his power building.

"No!" Jared yells behind him, and then it's like something gives, Katie's shield suddenly bursting like a bubble. Katie's eyes go wide, first with surprise then clear terror.

The next few moments are absolute chaos, a wave of their combined powers being flung forward, uncoordinated but effective. A shot goes off. Jensen watches Katie being flung backwards, hitting the ground hard, her husband doubling over, screaming. Adrianne flickers into being behind the guy still holding Colin, ripping his arms away from him, and Colin stumbles as he rushes forward.

It's over within a few short moments. The air smells burned, dust kicked up around them, four figures lying on the ground in heaps. 

"Is everyone okay?" Jensen asks, heart beating frantically, hears "yeah" and "fine" echoed around him. He feels a sudden wave of calmness wash over him and he can practically feel everyone settle down, knows right away that it's Felicia's doing.

"Colin?" he asks-

Sam is holding him, rocking him, and Jensen stumbles closer to them. "Colin?" he repeats, more softly.

Colin looks up, pale, but looking unharmed. "'m fine."

Jensen nods and then turns, taking everyone in, taking stock, until his eyes land on Jared. He's huddled on the ground, Jeff kneeling next to him. 

"Go," Sam murmurs.

Jensen rushes to his side, drops to his knees so hard it makes pain shoot through them. "What happened? Jared, are you hurt?" he asks, trying to keep his tone gentle.

Jared lifts his head and looks at him, face white. He's shaking. "I... got dizzy," he says.

"Jeff?" Jensen asks, needing him to check, to make sure he's okay.

Jeff has his hands on Jared's back and he nods right away. "He's fine. Just completely drained," he says. "But he's not hurt."

"A panic attack?" Jensen guesses, brushing Jared's hair back.

"I think Jared used his powers," Jeff says quietly.

"What?" both Jared and Jensen say at the same time, Jensen's tone surprised and Jared's more raw. 

Jeff gives Jared a gentle smile. "I think you used your powers, kiddo," he repeats.

Jared shakes his head. "I don't have any."

"Well, judging by Katie's reaction, I don't think her powers usually fail her like that. If she was born a mutant that's not something that happens, unless someone blocks them," Jeff reasons. "And nobody here has a power than can do that."

"You think that was Jared?" Jensen asks, stroking Jared's hair again, needing to touch him both for Jared's and his own sake.

Jeff nods. "First time I healed you, there was this moment where it felt like my powers weren't working. Just for a second, so I didn't think anything of it, but now..." He shrugs and then looks at Jensen. "Think about it, Jen. The guy pointed the gun at you and Katie's shield went down just as Jared screamed. And then he just collapsed. It makes a lot of sense."

Jared shakes his head. "I don't have powers," he repeats.

"Doesn't matter right now," Jensen decides, keeping his tone gentle, because he can tell it's just upsetting Jared. "Let's get Jared to lie down."

He helps Jared up, Jeff taking Jared's other side.

"Guys, get them in the main cabin, tie them up," Jensen says, nodding at the four unmoving bodies. "I'll be right with you."

He turns to Jared then, murmurs, "C'mon."

They walk slowly, Jeff and he both holding up Jared's weight. Jeff is right, Jared is drained. Completely.

In the cabin, Jensen guides them to the bedroom and helps Jared onto the bed, making sure he goes down carefully.

"I need to go deal with this," he says apologetically and smooths Jared's hair back, out of his face. "I'm sorry."

"'s okay," Jared mumbles.

"I'll stay," Jeff says, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"I don't need a babysitter, Jeff," Jared argues weakly.

"Well, how about a friend?" Jeff says. "I'm a healer. I'm not a fighter, man, so I'd rather be here with you."

Jared looks torn, but then he nods, and turns his head to look up at Jensen. "What are you going to do, Jensen?"

Jensen gives him a sad smile. "Whatever we have to," he says.

*

In the main cabin, Katie, Mark and one of the two bodyguards are tied to chairs. Mark is awake but groggy.

Danneel, Tahmoh, Chris, Misha and Alona there, hovering.

"Sam's taking care of Colin," Misha says when Jensen enters the room, and Jensen nods.

"What about the fourth guy?"

"His neck was snapped," Danneel murmurs, her voice a little shaky. It really hits Jensen then, what is happening here. It might have been self-defense, but they killed someone. And he knows that there'll be more deaths on their consciousness by the end of the day.

Jensen swallows.

"What now?" Alona asks.

"Yeah, what now?" Mark mocks, coughing, words a little slurred. "I hear you're a real goody two-shoes, Jensen. So what are you going to do to us?"

"You were going to kill us. You tortured Jared and experimented on him," Jensen says, and it's not a decision he has to think about, not something that is tearing him up inside. They don't have any choice anyway, not if they want to protect themselves, the camp. "I don't have a lot of sympathy for any of you."

"But you're not a killer, Jensen," Mark says. "Are you?"

"Maybe I am," Tahmoh says, and Jensen turns to see him point a gun right at Katie that must have been one of the guys'. He shoots, blood splattering, and Danneel lets out a little scream.

"Tahmoh!" Jensen snaps, his stomach queasy.

"She was waking up, Jensen. And you know she would have used her shield again if she did," Tahmoh shoots back, voice harsh. "And maybe now the other two will be little more willing to play nice."

"I will kill you," Mark hisses, looking at Katie and then Tahmoh with a clenched jaw.

"No, I will kill _you_ ," Tahmoh replies. "And I'll do it gladly, you sick fuck."

"Look," Jensen says, keeping his voice level even though he doesn't feel calm. "Remember what you said about making it quick for us? I'm going to offer you the same thing right now. We just need some answers first."

"Jensen," Danneel starts, and Jensen shoots her a look, shaking his head.

"We don't have a choice," he says. "You want us to be safe? This is the only way."

Danneel hesitates, then nods. Jensen looks at the others, one by one, and they all nod, too. 

"So, Mark?" Jensen prompts.

"Fuck you."

"I just need to know where the lab or whatever the hell you call it is, and the names of everyone who knows about this," Jensen stresses. "Whatever we have to do, we _will_ make you talk. You can make it easier on yourself."

Mark spits at him, a glop of it hitting Jensen's cheek.

Jensen takes a deep breath, wipes his face, and nods curtly. He feels shaky, sick, but he tries not to let it show as he steps back and looks at the others. 

"Anyone who wants to leave, feel free to do so," he says, voice thick. 

Alona straightens, giving him a wobbly smile. "I'm real good with a knife," she says, and Jensen gives her a pained smile, feeling like crying.

*

Jensen takes a shower afterwards, hot enough to scald his skin, and rubs specks of blood off until his skin is pink and feels raw. Clad in just a towel, he returns to the cabin.

Jeff and Jared are still up, waiting for him, Jensen swallows thickly when he meets their eyes.

"You can go get some sleep, Jeff," he says, his voice weary. Jeff nods, but stays perched on the bed.

"We got some food for you," Jared says quietly, nodding at the bedside table. There's a plate there with bread, slices of cheese and cuts of meat.

"I'm not really hungry," Jensen replies.

"Jensen... " Jeff clears his throat and Jensen can tell he wants to ask questions. His shoulders drop. 

"We took care of it, and we know where the lab is now," he says. "And we're gonna take care of everyone else who knows about this as well."

Jeff nods and finally gets up. He pulls Jensen into a hug, squeezing him tightly. "This was never supposed to be something you had to do, Jensen," he whispers.

"Well, nobody ever said leading a camp would be easy, right?" Jensen jokes weakly and draws back, looking at Jeff. "None of us were supposed to have do something like this, Jeff."

Jeff nods and kisses his forehead. "Get some rest," he murmurs.

Jensen nods. He waits until Jeff is gone, until he hears the door to his cabin falling shut with a snick, before he drops the towel and crawls into bed with Jared. He grabs for him, holds him close, and buries his face in Jared's neck, a few hot tears seeping out as Jared starts to stroke his back.

*

The lab is a day's drive away. Jensen calls Traci and Jim the following morning and both of them insist on meeting up with Jensen to help out. Jensen doesn't argue, knows it's as much their problem, their fight. And if they have back-up, Jensen knows fewer people from their own camp have to go and be a part of it, and the selfish part of Jensen is glad for that. It's not a burden he wants for the people he loves.

Danneel, Alona, Christian, Misha, Tahmoh, Aldis, Jeff and Jensen head out the day after the next, taking both cars. They meet up with a small group of people from Beaver's camp and Traci's camp a couple of miles away from the lab and then walk the rest of the way there, so they won't draw any attention to themselves.

They learned from Katie’s husband that there are five more guards, two scientists, and four people who are being experimented on. 

"We'll keep two people on each of the two entrances," Jensen says. "Just in case. The rest of us go in."

"I've never killed anyone," Traci says, staring at the building that's ahead of them, hidden by trees.

"Neither had I, until two days ago," Jensen admits. "But it's them or us."

Traci nods. "Let's go," she says.

*

Aldis dismantles the security system in less than a minute, face scrunched up in concentration before he smiles. "Done," he says.

"Okay. Aldis, Jeff, you stay here, too; stay safe, okay?" Jensen says and then looks at the others. "We're going in."

Inside, they split up into groups two groups of three and one group of two. Jensen and Danneel take the upper floor, creeping through the hallways as silently as they can, checking room by room.

In the third one, they find a guard, sitting in front of a row of screens. They're showing the hallways and the forest surrounding the building, but thanks to Aldis the footage is the same as it was ten minutes ago.

Jensen takes a step into the room, and the guard turns. He barely has time to scream, a strangled noise escaping him as Danneel flings a ball of fire at him.

*

Jensen's phone vibrates. Once, twice, three times, then three more times. His own message to the group is the seventh. Seven messages, seven deaths.

He breathes a sigh of relief.

*

There are two guys and two girls in the basement, in various shapes of well-being. One of the girls starts crying as they help them out of the building, all of them looking shell-shocked, somewhere between relieved and terrified.

Danneel has a bunch of folders that she got from one of the offices tucked under her arm. Jeff is waiting for them, and he gives a brief explanation of his powers, asking for permission, before he heals the four one by one, and then fixes the gash Misha ended up with on his temple.

"We have cars nearby," Jensen explains. "It's a bit of a walk, but we can carry you if you can't make it."

Four pairs of eyes stare at him. "And then?" one of the guys dares to ask. Jensen thinks his name is Brock.

"It's up to you. You're all changed and nobody can ever know about that, for your sake as much as everyone's. So I'm begging you not to tell a soul about what you've been through. But if you want to go home, if you think you're up for that, then by all means, you're free to go," Jensen offers. "Or you can come with us to one of the camps."

"I don't really have anyone," one of the girls, Genevieve, mumbles, her head hanging low.

The other three nod, one by one. Jensen isn't surprised. It makes sense that they picked people who wouldn't be missed, wouldn't be searched for. 

And he isn't surprised when, at least for now, all four of them choose going back to the camps. 

Osric, a lean, wiry guy, goes with Jim, Sophia with Traci, and Brock and Genevieve go with them.

The walk back to the car takes a while, Osric, Sophia, Brock and Genevieve too weak to walk very far. When they get to the cars, Jensen hugs Jim and Traci, nods at the others, and then they all pile into the cars.

Jensen puts the key in the ignition, but doesn't turn it just yet. He looks at Danneel, waits for her to nod, before craning his head back to look at the backseat, where Genevieve and Brock are sitting close together, with Jeff next to them.

"This is going to be loud," he warns. He watches Danneel, her expression drawn. Her breathing picks up after a few moments, and then, with a loud bang, the lab explodes, goes up in flames.

Jensen starts the car.

*

The look on Jared's face when they get back to camp almost breaks Jensen's heart. There's pain there, but there's also so much relief, like the weight of the world has been lifted of Jared's shoulders.

Jensen smiles and then holds his arms open, welcomes Jared into them when he rushes forward. He holds him tight, buries one hand in his hair and presses the other against his back.

"Everything's okay now," he murmurs. "Sweetheart, it's over. It's all over now."

*

When Sam tells Jensen, Aldis, Danneel, Jeff, Misha, Alona and Chris to get some rest, that they'll take care of Genevieve and Brock and find a place for them to sleep, Jensen doesn't argue, doesn't need to be told twice.

He grabs Jared by the hand and tries not to rush, not to drag Jared to his cabin.

Inside, he pushes him up against the wall and kisses him, deep and hungry, his hands pushing up under Jared's shirt until they settle on warm skin.

"Don't you want food? A shower?" Jared mumbles between kisses.

"No," Jensen grunts. "Just want you, sweetheart. Please."

Jared cups his face, nods sweetly, and pulls Jensen back in, kisses him back with just as much intensity this time. Jensen feels a desperation he has never felt before, a need that burns hotly in his stomach, and he feels on edge with it, like it's tearing at him from the inside.

It's not until he sinks into Jared, presses in all the way, until he can't bury himself any deeper in Jared, that he feels something in his chest loosen, feels the emotions inside of him calming down. 

Leaning over Jared, he buries his face in the crook of Jared's neck. He holds still for a moment, breathes in the familiar scent of clean sweat and soap and skin warmed by hours in the sun, listens to the breathless little sounds he's heard Jared make countless times by now. He stays like that for too long, the heat of Jared's body gripping him tightly, wrapping around him until it's all that matters, all he can feel; and it's only when Jared starts writhing under him, begging him with a quiet little "Please, Jensen. _Please_." that he starts moving.

*

"We really need more cabins," Danneel says over breakfast the next morning. "Brock and Genevieve need a place to stay."

She's squished into one of the booths, Jeff next to her, looking pleased as Hilarie is tugged in against his side.

"We can start getting the wood we need later, start cutting down some trees," Jensen says. "We have all the other supplies we need. But building two new cabins, that's gonna take a while."

"We can set up two cots in the main cabin for now. I wouldn't mind sleeping there," Hilarie offers.

Jared clears his throat. "One of them can stay in my cabin," he says. "I'm always at Jensen's anyway."

Jensen looks at him and a moment later, Jared's eyes widen, his cheeks flushing. "I mean... if Jensen is okay with that," he adds.

"It's a great idea, sweetheart," Jensen says, covering Jared's hand with his.

*

"I'm so fucking sorry, Jen," Jared says later, as they head out of the main cabin. "I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that. I guess I suck at this being a boyfriend thing."

"I think you're doing just fine," Jensen tells him and winds his arm around Jared's waist, giving it a squeeze.

"I just invited myself to live with you," Jared points out.

"Well, good thing I want you to, huh?" Jensen says, and Jared glances at him.

"Yeah?"

"I don't even remember when you last slept in your own cabin, sweetheart," Jensen says with a shrug. "It's not gonna make much of a difference. Hell, I wouldn't have minded if you'd never left my cabin when you first got here to begin with."

Jared snorts. "What? You liked sleeping on the floor?"

"I liked having you around," Jensen corrects, and that shuts Jared right up, makes him duck his head and flush the prettiest shade of pink.

*

"I need to talk to you," Danneel says, and Jensen drops the electric saw he turned off when he saw Danneel approach.

"That doesn't sound good," Jensen mutters.

Danneel smiles, shakes her head. "It's not bad," she says. "Just something I think you'll want to know."

"Okay," Jensen says and looks at Tom, Alaina and Tahmoh, who have stopped working as well, waiting for him.

"Can you guys handle this on your own for a while?" he calls out. He gets three nods and he holds up his thumb, before following Danneel back to the camp.

Danneel doesn't explain, doesn't say anything, until they reach her cabin. On the desk, the folders from the lab are opened up, papers spread everywhere.

"Grab a chair," Danneel says and sits down. Jensen does as he's told and joins her.

"Okay, so," she says and taps one of the folders. "These are protocols of what they did at the lab, the experiments and whatnot. A lot of it is scientific mumbo jumbo that went way over my head, to be honest. Aldis and Jeff read a lot of it too and I think we managed to piece most of it together to at least get the basic gist of what they did."

Jensen nods, mentioning for her to go on with the wave of his hand.

"Their basic idea was that some mutants, like some shapeshifters, are able to change their own DNA when they take on another form and based on that they assumed it would be possible to change someone else's DNA as well. And they used the samples from a shifter who was able to turn into other mutants, down to having their powers, at will," Danneel explains and shakes her head a little. "I'm not sure how they got those samples, if they were given to them freely or taken by force. There isn't much on that person anywhere in here. I guess it doesn't matter anyway."

"Go on," Jensen says, nodding.

"Okay, so this is where the scientific mumbo jumbo comes in. They mixed those samples with all kinds of stuff. It took them a couple of years to get this to even work," Danneel says. "They tested it on animals at first and then moved on to humans when those experiments were successful. They injected people with the serum they'd created. It's all very Captain America."

"Sounds like it," Jensen says.

"Yeah," Danneel says and pulls a stack of thinner, gray folders closer to her. "These are files on all of the people they experimented on."

Jensen looks at the files, counts them quickly. There are sixteen, and he feels something twist inside of his stomach. "What happened to them, other than Jared and the other four?"

Danneel swallows and shoots him a pained look. "A lot of the first tests didn't go as they wanted. The powers were erratic, out of control or just really, really weak," she tells him. "A few of them didn't survive the testing. And the others were... _disposed of_."

"Disposed of," Jensen repeats. "Like Jared was disposed of?"

Danneel shakes her head. "No. They killed them. Jared... they'd made a lot of progress by the time they brought Jared in. From what I gather they couldn't understand why Jared seemed to not have any powers. Especially since they knew the serum worked, at least to some degree. I'm guessing that's because Katie must have been able to feel that Jared was changed," she says. "So, they kept testing on Jared. He was there longer than any of the others before him. And from the tone of the things written in the file, everyone was really frustrated and couldn't figure out what went wrong with Jared. Eventually they decided he was, well, a lost cause."

"But they didn't kill him."

"It was a few scientists and a bunch of henchmen, living in a lab in the middle of nowhere. They were going stir crazy," Danneel says. "A couple of them convinced Katie and Mark to drop Jared off in the middle of the mountains where he had no chance to survive instead of killing him. It was... a game. Something they found amusing."

Jensen clenches his hands into fists, his stomach twisting up in anger. And yet, he supposes, he should be happy. Grateful, because it meant Jared survived. That he was able to find him, to bring him here.

"Anyway," Danneel continues. "What's interesting is the serum. The basis of it was the same for everyone, but they added samples from different mutants, because they assumed that the samples they used would influence what powers the people would get."

"How did that work?"

Danneel makes a face. "Honestly? No fucking idea, but to some degree it worked. I mean, scientists haven't figured out how the mutant gene worked in almost fifty years of researching it, and Katie's husband seems to have been a bit of a prodigy, but he didn't fully grasp how the gene works either. But they were right insofar that there seems to be a bit of a correlation between the samples and the results."

"Okay, how so?"

"Well, the powers people ended up with seemed to fall into similar categories. Again, it was something they were still running tests on and hadn't fully figured out yet. But say they had used a sample of me as the main component of the serum," Danneel starts. "So, pyrokinesis— _or_ , in the broader sense, the ability to control an element. From what I understand there were two outcomes—either the person would end up with the ability to control an element as well, any element. So, a power that falls into the same broader category. Or if not the exact same power as the mutant they took the sample from, a similar one, so perhaps the person would be able to maybe not create fire, but withstand it or extinguish it."

"Did they have any idea what it depended on? How closely related the power of the sample person and the one being tested on was?" Jensen asks. "Just guesses at least?"

"They didn't know," Danneel says. "They thought it could have been a matter of how different elements of the serum worked together or the concentration of the sample. But they also didn't rule out that it was just random or based on a natural predisposition the person had."

Jensen looks at the files and nods slowly. "Okay, so... what does any of this mean for us? I mean, we're gonna burn these and hope nobody ever finds out, right?"

"Yeah," Danneel agrees and then picks up the top file from the stack, sliding it towards Jensen. "That's Jared's file."

Jensen looks at it, doesn't open it, but he touches his fingers to it. "So?"

"So, Jeff told me that he thought Jared might have blocked Katie's powers, took down her shield," Danneel says. "Jensen, the main sample in Jared's serum was from Katie."

Jensen flattens his hand out on the file, sucking in a breath. "So he could be right?" he asks.

"I think so," Danneel says and nods. "They assumed Jared would have a power similar to Katie's, too. Her shield didn't just shield her from powers, but basically protected her against any attack. Like, a bullet wouldn't have been able to get through that from the outside in. They figured that whatever power Jared had, it should have enabled him to fight them off, stop them from hurting him."

"But it didn't."

"Well, Katie was the only mutant in the lab. She didn't have a power to attack Jared with."

"And if Jared's power is to... nullify other people's powers, they wouldn't have known."

"Exactly," Danneel says and smiles. "I think maybe that might be of interest to your boy, huh?"

"Yeah," Jensen agrees and grins. "I think it might be."

*

To Jensen's surprise, Jared doesn't look happy when he explains what Danneel told him later that day, the two of them sitting on the steps outside of his cabin side by side.

He just shakes his head. "Don't, Jensen," he says, sounding close to getting upset.

"Don't want?"

"I don't have powers," Jared grits out. It's like those words, that thought, is ingrained in him, and Jensen touches his arm, rubs it soothingly.

"Sweetheart, I really think you do."

Jared sniffs, doesn't reply, and Jensen leans in closer to him.

"Look, how about we test it out?" Jensen suggests. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I am. We can give it a try, right?"

Jared looks at him, his eyes a little red. "Fine, okay," he says, and he sounds a little resigned, not one bit excited. Jensen almost back-tracks then, but he's almost 100% sure Jeff had the right idea about Jared's powers and also knows that Jared wishes he had a power, wishes he was like everyone else at camp.

It's with that in mind that he suggests hitting the gym later, booking one of the small workout rooms for them. Just in case something goes sideways, Jared's—potential—powers going haywire, they won't be able to break anything of importance in there or create too much of a mess.

Jensen positions himself in the middle of the room, a few feet away from Jared. "Just try to stop me, to block my powers," he says.

"How?" Jared asks, looking a little lost. 

Jensen smiles encouragingly. "Just relax, think about making me stop," he suggests. His own powers just came naturally to him; he wasn't always fully in control, but that had a lot more to do with being a toddler than having to learn how to use them. 

Jared doesn't look convinced, but he nods at Jensen. 

There's a metal basket with some balls in the corner of the room and Jensen focuses on them, lets one levitate and then lets it fly in the vague direction of where Jared is. It hits the wall a good four feet away from him, and Jared doesn't move, his face a little bleak. 

"Let's try again," Jensen says encouragingly. He picks another ball, aims it a little more at Jared and then sends a second one right after it. This time, Jared flinches and suddenly ducks, covering his head with his arms like he expects the balls to actually hit him. Jensen knows they wouldn't, because his aim is perfect and he would never risk hurting Jared, and his stomach drops when he watches Jared react, when Jared is obviously scared.

One of the balls hits the wall behind Jared, the second one drops to the floor from mid-air, bouncing up and down with heavy thuds and Jensen quickly crosses the distance between them.

"Jared? Hey, sweetheart," he murmurs, and reaches out. He takes Jared by the arms, keeps his touch gentle, and Jared flinches again.

"Don't hurt me," he mumbles, and Jensen's stomach drops.

"Shh, nobody is going to hurt you. It's just me," he soothes, his throat feeling too tight. Jensen blinks, willing himself not to cry because he did this, he scared Jared. "I'm sorry. Baby, I didn't wanna scare you. I wasn't thinking. I'm so sorry."

Jared lowers his hands slowly, and for a moment he looks a little dazed. Then his expression clears up, and as he meets Jensen's eyes, he blinks and a tears slides down his cheek.

"Oh, Jared," Jensen says and tugs Jared against him, feels a wave of relief when Jared goes with it, slumps against him and winds his own arms around Jensen's waist. "Baby, I'm so sorry. I fucked up. I shouldn't have done that, should have known you might not react well."

"'s okay. Was just balls," he hears Jared mumble into his neck, and Jensen cups the back of his head, scratches his fingers through the mass of dark hair and holds Jared close. He doesn't let go until he feels himself calm down, the sick feeling in his stomach fading.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

Jared sniffs and nods, but he still looks a little shaky. "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for? You didn't do anything wrong, Jared. I did."

"But I can't do it, Jensen. I don't have any powers," Jared replies, and he looks so distraught Jensen feels sick all over again. "And if I do, I can't use them. I just... I wish I could. I do. I don't want to disappoint you."

"You think I'll be disappointed if you can't do this?" Jensen asks. "Jared, no. I don't care if you have powers or if you don't. It doesn't matter. Sweetheart, I'd never be disappointed in you."

"You want this. Want me to figure it out," Jared says bleakly.

Jensen smooths Jared's hair back and behind his ear, and smiles sadly. "For you, baby, not for me," he stresses. "It doesn't make a difference to me. Okay?"

"Yeah," Jared says and nods. "I think I wanna head back to the cabin, Jen. Just... take a nap or something."

"Okay, of course," Jensen agrees. He leans in and brushes their lips together in a chaste kiss, murmurs, "I'm sorry."

*

Jensen has to ask three people before he finds someone who knows where Jeff is.

Eventually, he tracks him down in the orchard. Hilarie and he are picking apples, and Jensen is relieved she's two trees further down the small path, so he can talk to Jeff somewhat in privacy.

"Got a minute?" he asks as he approaches Jeff.

"Sure," Jeff says and tosses an apple at him. Jensen catches it, rolls it around his hands for a moment.

"You looked like someone kicked your puppy," Jeff notes.

Jensen gives a small, humorless laugh. "Well, I kinda feel like _I_ kicked a puppy," he admits. "I kinda fucked up."

"Okay. Is this serious and requires my full attention or are you just being a drama queen again?" Jeff asks, not unkindly. 

He's teasing and Jensen can't even really be mad. He knows he's complained and whined to Jeff for plenty of ridiculous reasons over the years, especially when he was younger. "No," he says. "I actually really did fuck up this time. With Jared."

"What did you do?" Jeff asks, the humor leaving his tone. 

Jensen carefully drops the apple into the basket with the others and sits down, his back against the tree. Jeff joins him and Jensen gives him a quick recap of what happened at the gym. It earns him a quick slap over the head, not hard enough to hurt, and Jensen actually kind of appreciates it. Jeff cares about Jared, and Jensen is glad for that.

"You're an idiot, Ackles."

"Yeah," Jensen agrees. "I wasn't thinking. I didn't want to hurt him or scare him, and I didn't stop to consider that after everything he's been through this is how he might react. I was so excited about what Danneel told me, I didn't think the whole thing through. Didn't consider that having someone toss a bunch of balls at him without warning would freak him out."

"Well, at least it's not something you can't fix," Jeff says. "You apologized, right? I mean, the getting down on your knees and begging the kid for forgiveness type of apologizing."

"I apologized," Jensen confirms and pulls his knees up. "I think what's even worse is that he thinks I'll be disappointed in him if he doesn't figure his powers out. It's not the first time this came up. It's like he thinks he's worth less because of it, that he doesn't fit in and that it'll affect how I feel about him."

"It's not easy when everyone is one way and you're the one person who isn't," Jeff says.

"Yeah. _I_ know. We all know," Jensen says. "And I hate that he feels that way because I know how damaging it can be. I don't know how to make him see that it doesn't matter."

"You tell him."

"I have. And I'll do it over and over again, but what if it's not enough?" Jensen asks. "It's like it doesn't quite get through to him. He's the most important thing in my life and I can't seem to get it right." 

"Does he know how you feel?" Jeff asks.

Jensen frowns at him. "Of course he does. How can he not?"

"You've told him you love him, right?"

Jensen frowns. He's shown Jared, plenty of times, and he's said a lot of different things. But the words "I love you" never passed his lips—and he's not really sure why. He knows he loves Jared, has no doubt about that whatsoever. 

"Christ, Jensen," Jeff mutters. "You haven't told him? I mean, anyone can see he means more to you than any of this, any of us. But maybe he would like to hear you say that, don't you think?"

"Jeff," Jensen starts, and it's true. Jared does mean more. And that's just another thing Jensen feels guilty for.

"Well, he does mean more to you, doesn't he?" Jeff asks. "There's nothing wrong with that."

"I'm supposed to put the camp first. That was _always_ my priority," Jensen says. "It's my job."

"Exactly, your job. Nobody expected it to be your life, Jensen," Jeff tells him. "We expect you to be in charge, to do right by us, but nobody expects you to put us before the person you're in love with. Frankly, I'd be more worried if Jared wasn't your priority and what kind of person that would make you. So you tell him that. As often as you have to."

*

Jensen asks Jared to take a walk with him after dinner.

"Do we need a flashlight or something?" Jared asks, sounding a little worried when Jensen leads him past the gates out of the camp.

"We won't be gone that long," Jensen says. The camp is in a small dip of the mountains, and Jensen takes Jared halfway around it, leading him up to a small plateau that overlooks most of the camp. It takes barely more than thirty minutes, and they spend most of the time walking in silence, their hands tangled between them.

"What now?" Jared asks, when they reach their destination and stop. Jensen sits down and pats the grassy spot next to him that's shot through with moss. 

"Sit," he says and waits until Jared has settled before he continues, "Jeff took me here when I first got to the camp." 

"Did he hold you up in the air and sing _The Circle of Life_? Or tell you all of this would be yours one day, Simba?" Jared mocks.

"Funny," Jensen replies dryly. 

"Yeah, I know," Jared agrees. He leans a little into Jensen's side, his weight warm and familiar.

"I know I told you when I first left home, I was really bitter and angry at the world for a while," Jensen admits. "But being here, it eventually gave me a purpose. Not just a place that felt like I belonged. But helping keep this place running, making sure people like us had a place to stay, it was something to do. Something I felt was important." 

"I'm glad you found it," Jared murmurs. 

"Yeah," Jensen says. "I'm not sure where I would have ended up if I hadn't found the camp, but I doubt I would have been happy. Without the people here, the home they gave me, the purpose they gave me."

"You know you're so important to them, right?" Jared asks. "Everyone looks up to you so much."

Jensen shrugs. "We're all important. This place doesn't work if we all don't work hard," he says. "That's not my point."

"What _is_ your point?" Jared asks. "I mean, it's beautiful up here and I like being alone with you. But I'm not really sure why you brought me here tonight."

"Because I don't think you really realize what you mean to me," Jensen says. He waves his hand at the camp they're looking down on. "I'd give all of that up in a heartbeat for you, sweetheart." 

"Jensen," Jared says, a little exasperated. Like he doesn't think it's true, like Jensen is exaggerating.

"Fuck, Jared. You don't get it, do you? You're more important to me. Whether you have powers or not, it doesn't matter—you're already exactly who I want." 

Jared doesn't reply this time.

"I love you. You know I love you, right?"

Jared shrugs, and then nods. "I guess, yeah."

"You guess," Jensen echoes and huffs, shaking his head. "Jared, I'm so goddamn in love with you. With exactly the person you are now. Having powers wouldn't make me love you any more than I already do, it wouldn't make you any more perfect to me."

Jared heaves a sigh, shifts his weight forward a little. "I hate being different." 

"Yeah, I know. I know _exactly_ what that's like. But everyone here also knows that being different isn't a bad thing." 

Jared nods. 

"I didn't want to make you feel like you had to have powers. Like you had to make them work," Jensen adds. "Sweetheart, I just thought that it's something you might want."

Jared presses his lips together. "I do," he admits and turns to look at Jensen. "But maybe I'm scared what it'll mean if it doesn't work. If you're wrong about me. Right now, at least there's still a chance and not really knowing for sure means at least I could potentially be like everyone else after all. 'Cause what if I'm not?"

"Yeah, what then, Jared?" Jensen prompts. "It wouldn't change a damn thing."

"Promise?"

"Yeah. Baby, I promise."

Jared nods and then scoots closer, resting his cheek on Jensen's shoulder. "Then, I think, maybe I wanna try again. Try triggering my powers." 

"You don't have to," Jensen reminds him. 

"I want to," Jared says. "If you'll still love me if it turns out I'm useless."

"You're not useless. Never," Jensen murmurs. "And I'll definitely still love you."

*

They head back to the gym the next morning.

"Okay, so we're not doing the thing with the balls again," Jensen says, taking one in his hand and bouncing it off the ground a few times. He holds it up, waits for Jared to nod and then tosses it towards him.

There's a hoop at one end of the room, and Jared tosses it, grinning when it swishes right through. "What's your plan then?" he asks. He seems a lot more relaxed today, and Jensen can tell he's ready to actually try this time, that he wants to and isn't just doing it because Jensen asked.

He should have realized it the day before.

"Well, if Jeff is right, then last time your powers got triggered when Cassidy was pointing a gun at me."

"No," Jared says.

"What?"

Jared turns to him fully and crosses his arms his chest. "You're not doing anything that could hurt you, make someone use their powers on your or some shit like that," he says. "I swear if that's what you were thinking I'm going to fucking strangle you myself."

"No, hadn't crossed my mind," Jensen lies and tries to look innocent.

Jared glares at him, obviously not buying it. 

"Fine," Jensen says. "I'll come up with something else."

"Good. We have the room for, what, another hour?"

Jensen nods and hums. "Yeah. Actually, I think I might have an idea. And it's probably silly, but we could give it a shot," he muses.

"What is it?" Jared asks. 

Jensen grins and shakes his head. "You'll see. It might work better if you don't know what it is," he explains. "I'm going to go get something and be right back, okay?"

He makes the ball roll back towards him and picks it up, lobbing it back at Jared. "Here, play some ball or something," he suggests and heads for the door.

Jared is sitting on the ground, mindlessly tossing the ball back and forth between his hands when Jensen returns a couple of minutes later. He eyes the feather in Jensen's hand and frowns.

"What, are you gonna make me write 'I have mutant powers' on the walls a hundred times?" he asks.

"Geez, you figured me out," Jensen shoots back. He drops onto the ground in front of Jared, and Jared drops the ball, waiting, his eyebrows raised expectantly.

Jensen makes the feather levitate between them. It's a big one, a good ten inches, that's been tucked behind the corkboard in the main hall for as long as Jensen can remember, after someone found it somewhere in the forest.

Smiling at Jared, he makes the feather float forward, lets it brush over Jared's face, first his cheek, then his nose. Jared scrunches up his face and bats it away.

"Stop," he says.

Jensen grins. "Make me," he taunts teasingly, and moves the feather back towards Jared's face. He tickles it over Jared's face, making him laugh, and makes it float out of the way when Jared attempts to push it away again. He goes back in.

"Jensen!" Jared laughs, trying to duck out of the way. It's fruitless, as Jensen follows him with it, and Jared giggles. "Stop!"

"Nope," Jensen says, and goes for Jared's neck, the feather brushing the exposed skin there.

"Stop, Jensen! Jen!"

And then it's like someone flipped a switch, turning Jensen's powers off. He's never felt anything like it before. His powers have always just been there, a part of him, it's like there's a void inside of him now, like someone took his powers from him. It only lasts a few seconds, long enough for the feather to flutter to the ground, and then the block is gone and Jensen feels fine again. 

"Thank you," Jared pants, sitting up straight again. "Asshole."

Jensen just stares at him. "Jared," he says.

Jared gives him a puzzled look. "What?" he asks.

Jensen closes he distance between them, cups Jared's face and drags him into a kiss. "I didn't stop, baby," he mumbles against Jared's mouth and pulls back, grinning.

"Of course you did."

"No. No, that was all you," Jensen says, and he sees the understanding dawning on Jared's face, eyes wide.

"Me?" 

Jensen laughs softly and kisses Jared again. "You," he murmurs. "Fuck, sweetheart. That was all you."

He feels Jared tremble against him, Jared's hands grabbing his shirt, tugging at him, pulling him closer. "Really?"

"Really, really," Jensen says. He pushes Jared down, and follows. Crawls right on top of Jared and kisses him more deeply, pouring it all into the kiss. His happiness, his pride, how much he loves Jared. 

Without thinking about it too much, about where they are, he reaches down between their bodies. His hands fumble with Jared's clothes, tugging them out of the way however he can. He kisses a path down Jared's neck, rucks his shirt up.

"Jensen," Jared groans, and the tone of his voice, the feel of the bulge in his jeans is all the encouragement Jensen needs. He scoots down, undoes Jared's jeans while he sucks a bruising kiss against the soft, silky skin of Jared's belly. Slides his mouth down, his hands tugging the underwear down to pull Jared free.

"Not here," Jared says, but he rolls his hips up eagerly.

"Room's ours for another thirty minutes at least," Jensen reassures him. 

"Fuck. Yeah, okay," Jared agrees and that's all Jensen needs to hear. He leans down and takes Jared into his mouth.

It's wet and sloppy, and over quickly. Jensen does everything he knows that drives Jared crazy, tongues the slit and takes him in as deep as he can without preamble, lets Jared rock up, fuck into his mouth.

Jared is writhing and moaning under him in no time, tugging at his hair. And when he comes, he barely gives Jensen any warning, shooting hot, sticky come into his mouth with a loud cry.

Jensen sucks him through it, until Jared's moans become broken, skirting the line of where Jensen knows it's becoming too much, too overwhelming.

He crawls back up Jared's body, settles between his splayed legs and kisses him, lets him taste himself.

"Want me to..." Jared offers.

"Nah," Jensen says. "That was just for you. And the lock on the door is broken, so ..."

He pushes himself up onto his elbows, watches the way Jared's eyes go impossibly wide.

"Jensen!" he yelps, and when Jensen sits back, he hastily sits up, starts tucking himself back in. His face is bright red, and Jensen can't help but laugh. "Oh my god, I will kill you."

Jensen gets up, stilling chuckling and holds his hand out to Jared, pulling him up. He looks like a mess, cheeks red and hair sticking up, his shirt not tucked down completely.

"You're horrible," Jared mutters, but then he starts laughing, too, letting Jensen draw him in close in to a hug.

Flushed, disheveled, but grinning, he hides his face in the crook of Jensen's neck. Jensen can practically feel the happiness radiating off him. Jensen doesn't think he's ever, for a single moment, felt like this, felt this happy and light, as he does right then and there, with Jared in his arms.

 

**the end**

[](https://i.imgur.com/oY2qQJq.png)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> 
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